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7 ways to talk with your child so that he knew from the first time
should have told her son: "Before going to bed clean toys," and he started regularly every evening to put them in a box? Yes, it's a real miracle! Often there is not so: it is necessary many times to say the same thing in every way. There are several reasons why children do not understand us, and seven ways to speak so that they listened to us.
Website published advice from the book of child psychologists, mothers and daughters Dawn and Nina Nekrasov "without danger: from birth to school».
Reasons for misunderstanding
Children see themselves as immortal creatures (which in itself is not bad), and no child somehow can not believe that it can happen to him misfortune. Hence - the very touch of levity or pofigizma, which we so often come across, especially when talking with teenagers.
Children generally are arranged differently than adults. And because of this "otherness", they do often do not understand us. Or understand, but it is not so, and see not what we had in mind. Sometimes you say to a daughter or a son, "Take in your room," the child is working, and cleans like trying, as a result, you find all the same trash and garbage, just rearranged in a different order. From your point of view, this is an outrage. With child - a full order, because the securities (beautiful!), And the right thing to hell stupid stuff.
The same thing happens when we as a warning or something ask or something trying to convince children. Baby thinking specifically and practical. To a high of abstract truths, it grows to the average, and more - to the senior classes. For general considerations usually do not touch them. A notation and general edification cause a yawn.
Speaking of poddakivanii. Parents it's annoying: baby nods his head, agreed, like all realized, and then it turns out he did not understand any-thing. But you should not be offended. It seems that smart kids assent us the most humane reasons: parents try - and so do not want to disappoint them.
What to do? Talk with the children in their own language, and they perfectly understand, from what you want them to warn.
Explain clearly and vividly h3> To the child how to remember anything, not enough for him to hear. It must:
see experience perceive through the senses, and emotionally (by the way, our subconscious mind works the same way as for his native language - images and feelings) < /
Play h3> The game - the best way to convey to the child the necessary information. And so that they are firmly established in his memory at the right time "emerged" from there.
While the child is small, all the "learned safety" should pass this way -nenazoylivo, in a playful way. However, older children and learn important concepts better if unobtrusively, "playfully" to explain to them. Why? Because the play for children is as natural as walking and breathing.
When playing, any tips are perceived quite differently, without an internal protest , because they are always the way, because you are on an equal footing, you're partners, you are partners and friends.
tells the tale h3> One of the best ways to bring something to the child - to tell the tale, where such situations fall cute characters, which a child can be, unknowingly correlates with.
Lessons casually h3> Remember the hateful thing before an exam, and how quickly and safely you forget it as soon surrendered. Here is the same. What tired and out of sticks - hard to digest. Blame the innermost protest!
Lessons security also best done:
nenazoylivo causing curiosity and desire to know interesting - more interesting will be your lessons, the greater the guarantee that a child learns their "excellent» The main principle of education - to teach the child to want to learn. Plant a child and read him a lecture - it is possible. You can not force him to listen to it for an hour. If you start to talk, talk, talk and see that the eyes he raised to the ceiling, hand propped his head, his head cocked to one side, moving his lips twitching leg or something draws - you can be sure he is no longer in the room, not with you.
Lectures can be read, if you:
a good speaker and has the gift of persuasion feel unceasing interest of the child
Show me how to do it right h3> If you want to give the baby to grow and develop, you have to learn to resist public opinion. Stencils, habits, rules long ago, the opinion of some passers-by, who all have to deal.
It is easier to agree with the screams of the gate, but better - think with your head. But think will either advance, or about the consequences. By the way, the child does not hurt to learn to think first and then do (climb, jump, run, ride ...).
Sinister "no» h3> About cunning "no" many parents already know. With the "no" and "not ..." the situation is even worse. Well, our subconscious does not want to perceive it!
Any ban our mind meets with hostility. And to listen and to listen (and even more to learn), we have to make an effort to transcend their own "do not want to - I will not».
Remember how angry you are the prohibitions in the family or at work. But such an effort to make children even more difficult (if only because they are - a freedom-loving people). So it turns out: we say "No! You can not! ", And the child is not ready to hear us, he had" bananas in your ears. " We say "do not do", and he hears "do, and quickly ...».
With rhetorical questions occur for some reason the same thing, and children, and even your subconscious they are rather annoying, because they do not require a response. Especially teenagers are angry, when from under your question looks something snide and restraining such as "I'll speak Russian: How long ...?!».
What does that mean?
Try to build phrases so that dispense with "no", "no" and "impossible» Do not rhetorical questions (especially when you have a bad mood) Be cautious and considerate with a slightly ironic allusions, it often looks like a variant of sneaking sophisticated podkalyvaniya and too angry, especially teenagers (they do not believe in yourself) If you still have to say "no , "sweeten the pill So, your focus should be positive and specific, good, but not ironic Repeat differently h3> Any new information comes to short-term memory. There she kept about three days, and then, or erased, or goes into long-term memory, that is remembered for a long time.
The information goes into long-term memory:
when the information is a bright, emotional when a person repeats it back to her. In this he seems to be saying the brain: useful to me, this is important, remember!
Consistently, gradually deepening and traveled back to, it is necessary to talk about the simple and more complex things. The child grows up, but the rules do not change. They merely complements and expands, there will be new subparagraphs, new twists, but the essence is the same.
via www.perfectlyimperfectblog.com/2011/07/vintage-makeup-party.html
