Why sometimes it is not necessary to call themselves "I"

Talk about himself in the third litseVse we occasionally talk to themselves, especially in difficult situations. This helps to focus and sort out the problem. Referring to himself, someone says "expensive", someone "I have to ...", but the most useful thing to call himself by the name, "you" or in the third person. The study, published in the Harvard Business Review, found that it's easier to control your emotions, fears, thoughts and behavior. For example, before a five-minute speech in public people, talk with them like a different person, less worried, and were better than those who said: "I have to calm down," or "I will do everything well." In addition, they are less worried after the performance, and did not analyze every word sentence, and thus experienced less stress.

But not only the manner of referring to itself affects the result. It is important to be able to distance themselves from their own vision and resolve "the paradox of Solomon" - the wise king, who could not cope with personal difficulties. Scientists of the University of Waterloo, conducted an experiment: people were asked to write about infidelity partner from the first or third person. It was found that, freed from his own "I", the personal emotions and experiences, the participants were able to experiment a rational approach to the issue and to better understand the situation. Still, looking at the problem from the side - the best of its decision.

«I thought - what if one of the fighters will come and just kill me? I asked myself: "If he comes after you, what you do is small?". And the answer is: "small, just take off your shoes and throw it. But if you hit Taliban shoe, then there will be no difference between you and him. You should not be cruel and rude to others, you have to win through peace, dialogue and education. " I decided: "I'll tell him how important education and I want even his children were educated" ».

Malala Yusufzaym, human rights activist


via www.lookatme.ru/mag/how-to/better-life/212065-lifehack-third-person


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