How to maintain normal relations after a break
ability to get along after a breakup can be useful for your mutual friends, for your children or for professional reasons. It is not easy, but there are certain steps you can take to make the transition from the rupture of friendship became more gladkim.1. First contact with the rupture of relations pravilno
It starts from the moment of rupture. If you are not honest about the true causes of your break, the anger and resentment can build up, depriving you of the opportunity to become friends. Friendship is even less likely if you have between betrayal, which has never acknowledged or discussed. If you are able to behave politely during the break, while being the most honest - if you have a good chance to make friends later. So do not neglect this important step in the process of razryva.2. Live a while separately, and adjust to their new zhizni
Before doing anything else, it is necessary to adapt to a new life away from each other. Give each other time to the pain subsided, and it became clear how to live without each other. Naturally, you will begin to find new circles of communication and build relationships with new friends. You can even start doing what I always wanted to do, and what prevented your otnosheniya.A collapsed after spending some time apart, you may even find that does not want to again become friends, and it can also be a solution for both of you, the decision which will allow everyone to go their own way. But if you do decide that you want to remain friends, first among you must be a space. When you live apart, it becomes easier to perceive himself as a person, do not feel the responsibility to each other, or too heavily dependent on the actions of each druga.3. Leave the past disputes and negative feelings pozadi
Many relationships - both harbor resentment and difficult it can be to let go of it after it ends. You and your former partner will not soon forget the personal sacrifices that you bring to each other, or even minor trouble as a result of which you postradali.Vazhno keep in mind that if your goal is to establish friendly relations, then we have to act accordingly. This can be as simple as a friendly greeting when you see each other in public, as the offer of help, when you hear that he (or she) needs ney.Prosto remember now that it's over, it's time to put off the old disputes and grievances aside. Since in any case they do not aktualny.4. Offer friendship, but do not impose eё
Even if you want to maintain friendly relations after the break, your former (or former) may be not ready for this. Be more empathetic. Let your former partner know that you would like to remain friends, but not compelled to etomu.Esli (and when) your former partner will be ready for it, he will take your offer. Until then, it is better not to push him for friendship. Just continue to be polite in public, but did not go to the individual, is your ex or ex this not gotovy.5. Respect your ex a new relationship, and his decision to move dalshe
Whether it happens in two weeks or two years, but when the first time you see your ex (or former) to someone else, it is almost always hurts, at least - nemnogo.Tut important not to offer the former spouse their friendship as long as you are not willing to respect their decision to move dalshe.Budte honest with yourself as to whether you can cope with their feelings after seeing former mate with someone else, and act accordingly. Dr. Nerdlav explains:
"It is best to be as honest as him / her as well as himself. If you are not honest, and will only repeat to yourself: "I am calm, because I have to be calm," - then you are unlikely to be able to recognize that your ex or former moved on. This will cause you too much pain and too hard hit to your ego. At the beginning of your attempts to establish a friendly relationship is perfectly normal not to want to know that he meets your ex or former. And your attempts to get them to make it appear that this aspect of their lives do not exist, are immature and selfish. You can tell them you do not want to talk about their new relationship (at the moment), but if you're trying to stay friends, you should grow up and develop it ». Blockquote> If (and when) you get used to the new relationship you former or ex, do not forget to be polite and respect to their new companions. He or she probably does not want to be your friend (because you - also a former, after all), but if you want to remain friends, you can only hope that this will take place once the awkwardness. This is the best that can be sdelat.6. Understand that all of this might not sluchitsya
Sometimes, of course, you just can not be friends. Your parting was disgusting, a new life partner or your former ex - jealous, and you still bear to see them together. The truth is that you can control this situation is not all. If you are already apologized and demonstrated friendly intentions where needed, and then offered to stay friends and have not received anything in response to all of the above, it is better to leave things as they are, and give up the idea to remain friends. Perhaps your ex or former just need more time, and maybe you are doing something wrong. Anyway, do not stubbornly cling to an idea that does not make either of you happy.
via factroom.ru
