One important law - the balance between the "brothers" and "to give"

In any relationship, we must strike a balance between "taking" and "giving»




This law does not apply to the hierarchy, but permeates all life. It is - in my opinion - the foundation of any harmonious relationship. And any complex relationship somehow violate it.

This is the law of balance. In any relationship, we have to balance between the "take" and "give." Harmonious relations in this case are similar to a gymnast on a rope under a canopy. With a long pole in his hands. He can not stand alone balancing. But if one side of the pole will outweigh - gymnast slips down. Also relationships.


How do we break the balance
For example, a woman inherently loves to give - to serve, to help, to support. And this is a problem for many to take. Accept gifts, compliments, help. At this point, it seems that you're back again, something must. It is much easier not to take to avoid being owe. Again, give, give, give .... I know it very well on its own. And it is the behavior of women destroys relationships.

Also, there are people who are accustomed to taking a child - they clearly know what they need. This is the "consumerism" and "parasitism". And they do what you need them to. And always try to take the maximum. At the same time they do not like to give anything - even the old stuff. Many people do not like paying taxes, but very fond of social benefits and allowances. Such examples are too many.

Of course, most of us are not completely give away or completely takers. In some situations, we take too much, and some give a lot. But it is important to understand that there must be a balance in any relationship.

If you always give and give, but do not take - man is in front of you a great debt. You seem to hang around his neck a huge loan that he never give up. Firstly, you do not take anything from him. And secondly, there is dripping interest, and penalties ... Man can not live with such a burden - and he had no other option but to care. And after that, he is still guilty - because I gave him the best years of his life.

If you take all the time, but did not give, sooner or later, the partner is exhausted. There comes a moment when he could no longer give. And he begins to want something for all these years. He asks, demands, offended, angry ... If you're not ready to give something, then the relationship is also doomed.

How to maintain a balance
It is believed that to get something good, you should always give a person a little more. That is, for example, he brought you chocolate and you tell him tomorrow - two. Then he do tomorrow - three. And you tell him - four. And in such a relationship increases the love every second. Because every time both think about how to bring happiness to your loved one and give it a little more. And everything is clear :)

But there is another exchange. If someone else does hurt. What should I do? Sit and smile? To say, "I forgive you generous?" Will this make the relationship stronger? No.

For example, the husband has changed. It comes with guilt. And his wife a tear nor reproach. Forgives. Right. What's happening? His guilt is multiplied a hundred times (I'm such a bastard, and my wife is a saint!). It becomes higher than that. And the family is already doomed. I love them die, because in this imbalance, it can not live. He will live with her out of guilt. She - a sense of duty.

It's not that you can not forgive. Conversely. Forgive need. But from the perspective of equality. From a systemic point of view, in this case, you need a partner to answer something bad, but a little less.

That is in response to his wife of infidelity MUST a scandal, do not talk to him for a while, and so on. That is to hurt him. But! A little less. And then all the bad things in the family will tend to zero.

The balance should be everywhere
But most importantly, that the exchange refers to all around. The relations in business, at work, with friends.

I noticed that when a person gives his heart and soul to work for meager wages, it somehow fired?

Or friends who are helping you all the time, often pluck and tear relationships?

Also, the business of which is constantly pulled out the money without investing anything, sooner or later die.

These are natural laws of growth and development of all around. It is very important to learn how to balance. It is important to take all that we are given a partner, and give - as long as required.

The only relationship in which the law is a bit different - parents and children. Parents are always only given to children. Children just take my parents. In order then to give - but not back to the parents and their children. That is needed and to take and give. Just "into other hands».

Energy flows from ancestors to descendants, and never vice versa. We can not turn back the river of love, and if they do it, the result is sad.

Parents give us life, and this debt. Our task is to accept this gift. Take all your heart. I agree that we will never be able to return it to them. Never. It is a divine gift that we receive through their parents.

Our task is to convey the fire of life then - his children. And do not ask them to return the debts. Just watch how they transfer energy to their children and so on. This is what I write separately because the topic is too vast and vital.

How to apply it to themselves

Everything written is recommended only to itself. Only then has the opportunity to change something. Do not think of a partner, where he belongs. And to think - where am I, what am I doing, and what - no.
If I have a lot to give, what to do? It is necessary to temporarily stop actively give. And learn to take. If given. If you do not give, you learn not to wait for the start to give.
If I take a lot of what to do? Temporarily stop taking and start learning to give. If you do not take, what to do? At the very least, stop taking.
How to Measure "more" and "less" - in terms of return a little more or a little less good bad? His own feelings and his own conscience. Each of us has within himself always knows where this face.
Everywhere you return the poor and is it ok? From my point of view, normal to pretend that all is well. And in any relationship is necessary to help the partner to grow with the help of criticism as well. Form criticism may be different. In response to predatelstvo- we must respond, otherwise the relationship will collapse completely. In response to a momentary lack of attention - at its discretion, depending on the degree of anguish.
Relationships - it's always an exchange and movement. Can move upward or downward. Either the relationship grow stronger and develop or die and degrade. I personally this knowledge to help develop relationships. That is why I am writing about it.

Relationships - it's always an exchange and movement. Can move upward or downward. Either the relationship grow stronger and develop or die and degrade. I personally this knowledge to help develop relationships. That is why I am writing about it.

I wish everyone to find the point at which it will be comfortable and easy to take all that gives life, God and man. And at the same time as easily and will gladly give something else of life, God and people.

Olga Valyaeva

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