Better to be a hedgehog in Germany than man in Russia

Letter a girl friend from Germany to Russia. Rather, the passage. Punctuation, spelling and rest some simple momentum author remained unchanged. Next, on behalf of the author.
... I go, then shopping, I look: on the side of the hedgehog lies. Not a ball, but his back and legs up. And the whole muzzle in krovische: car, probably shot down. Here in the suburbs who just do not press! Hedgehogs, foxes, snakes ... sometimes even deer caught. Something I feel sorry for him was: wrapped in newspaper, brought home.
09062011-5Zvonyu Helmut, I ask, what to do? He told me, Bring in the hospital, where veterinary department there. Okay, am.
I went into the office. Meets some Aibolit overinflated: over two meters tall, two sheets of the gown can sew. You ist elk ?! - Asks. Here it is, I think, exactly elk. And count up: forget how German hedgehog. Then looked in the dictionary. Well, the poor guy shove him, saying that such shayse happened, Crank zhivotinka, heal, come on. Himself as elk - love hedgehogs ...
So he turned to life Aibolit: mug skew almost crying poor thing. Swab rubbed, almost licked his prick and zasandalit. Damn, I think, a little hedgehog their needles. And carried her into the operating room. Wait, said about an hour.
Well, go as something dumb - forward. Hour and a half crawls the elk. Scoreboard mournful, as if I've got a cousin bent.
And broadcasts, saying that as a good thing that you just brought the poor creature! Injury-de, very hard to live to be, but will remain disabled ... Now, Fraulein Liebe, take it and you can not even visit: lomnyak after anesthesia. I quietly from such care oh * enevayu. And here begins the full am Ende.
Aibolit continues: A couple of days a patient (nota bene: hedgehog!) Will have to lie in the intensive care unit (for hedgehogs, n /// x? !!!), And then will be able to pick up. I must have been written on his face: And * xp on my home Hedgehog disabled?! ..
He recalls: But maybe this is for you too burdensome and responsible (e-mine !!!). Then you can place the animal in a shelter (b /// I !!!). If you still decide to shelter him, need some bureaucratic formalities ...
I understand that you can not laugh: German sad as the funeral of the Fuhrer.
Stub smiling and asking: - Contract trusteeship (over hedgehog, e /// t !!!)? 'replied and characterization of a magistrate. I could hardly hold back, not to the sunset. - I ask. This zoophyte quite seriously answers:
- No, the feature with respect to your family, Fraulein. The document must contain information about, do not blame you or members of your family in the abuse of animals (struggling I drive out of my mind the image of Helmut roughly cohabitation with the hedgehog!). In addition, the magistrate will have to confirm whether you have the material and living conditions are sufficient for custody of animals (not too poor for me hedgehog with /// ka !!!). I fucking had enough strength to say more, saying, I will consult with relatives before taking such a crucial step, as adoption hedgehog. And it requests: how much should I pay a transaction fee? Answer me Dodavah.
"Oh, no, says, -you do not have to! We have a federal program to rescue animals affected by the people. " And then - cast a spell: "On the contrary, you will receive a prize of one hundred euros for a timely appeal to us. You send money by postal order (... eight, nine - out !!!).
We are grateful for your kindness. Danke Schoen, gutorehtsig Fraulein, aufviderzeyn! "In general, the home was in full frenzy, laughing forces were not already.
And then something was sad: remembering our little hospital, when my aunt was lying after a heart attack. How dragged food three times a day, laundry, dishes; begged to have examined and though zelyonkoj anointed ...
As a result, was born this maxim: "Better to be a hedgehog in Germany than the man in Russia».

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