How does the Russian husband eyes Japanese wife

Not so long ago I came across an unusual book. I wrote it simple Japanese woman Keiko Ivanov, and therefore have the same cover was enough to break my templates to shreds. The book is called "on-Harasё Hebe." Or, if in Russian and preserving wordplay - "Harosie days." It is written in the form of a comic book, which tells about the difficult life of Keiko Ivanova with her Russian husband. Abstracting from the topic, I note that the Japanese were able to do all of comics, even from a textbook on civil law.

In fact, the knowledge of the average Japanese very little about Russia went ahead by Herodotus with his Hyperborea. In Japanese the mental universe to the north of Hokkaido begins a black hole, which stretches around to the eastern borders of Germany, where the light is turned back on. When meeting with the Japanese, I sometimes invite them to guess where I am. At the same time I give a hint: the closest to the country of Japan. It would not give, because at this point the brain companion commits an illegal operation and forcibly closed. Options "Korea", "China" and "Taiwan" bad fit with my appearance. Options "USA", "Australia" and "New Zealand" - with school geography course. At about the time the vague memories of geography at risk go in flimsy knowledge of astronomy, I is ineffable mercy and say: "Russia».

Russia - a "cold" and "vodka". It is questions like "summer you generally have?". This is Putin, Cheburashka and KGB finally. To prevent the other party completely losing face, gently, I note that for the average Russian and Japan - where it is in the company of geisha samurai eating sushi. But the fact remains: the nearest neighbor Japanese do not know almost anything, even the near neighborhood goes past them. We still excusable ignorance: our neighbors from Norway to North Korea, would remember them all? We Japanese have such a close one. It's a shame, Jin.

Despite this outrage, blog Ivanova-san (yaponogovoryaschie invited) enjoys great popularity in Japan: for the year it was visited by more than a million users. So, what are they - these weird Russian?

Catch up and overtake Shinkansen
First of all, it turns out that contrary to popular stereotype of Japanese people in the strict earflaps, Russian - people direct and impulsive. Ivanova arrives in-law-san in Japan and goes to the train station, where she had to sit on the Japanese Shinkansen super express. Well, is not it, of course, and running because Russian made late. In late Shinkansen is not accepted, "Sliding Doors" - a train departs in lilac distance. Cabin lights, horses gallop - making in this situation Russian woman? That's right, is running for the world's fastest train on the platform, and attempts to open the sealed door. Japanese railway workers, breaking the cognitive dissonance, and the speed of sound, on the run trying to prevent this outrage, but a ticket is "money Ploce." Rasshvyrivaya slender Japanese in-law continues to gain speed and knock on doors and windows Shinkansen ...

After hearing this story, my Japanese friends made big eyes: "But it's dangerous!" I had to explain that in the distant Soviet past my aunt took the children and her husband in his arms, stopped in this manner jet. And I stopped, word of honor!

Further, these weird Russian and cars go weird. When you do not know the way, Russian stopping next to a taxi or bus and ask! If you have a navigator. Ivanova-san says the case as her husband, lost, approached in this manner to a taxi driver and asked for help. Good taxi driver, seeing the anguish of a foreigner, said: "You go for me." On the first turn driven, fascinated by the scenery, forgotten master and turned the other way. Japanese taxi driver dutiful weights, then a half-day chase him ...

Or this: in ancient times Russian lived in houses called "komunaruka" because too much living space - it's bad. Therefore, "komunaruka" - when in one apartment you live with strangers, can you imagine?

Here it is necessary digression. The Japanese are very cherished personal space. May 8 square meters - but their own. The first year in Japan, I lived in a student dormitory. So, when a local affliction I had almost your own apartment: bedroom, kitchen, shower and toilet. And so everyone in the hostel. And to live in the same room with strangers - well, how it Kurirofu-san?

Returning to the "komunarukam." There's a young husband Ivanova-san received from its neighbor Uradzimiru San important lessons for Russian men: how to deal with a hangover. The word "hangover", by the way, there are Japanese - "futsuka ёy", literally - "the intoxication of the second day." But the word "booze" No, I had to explain descriptively: "It's such a long" futsuka ёy. '" To explain how Russian achieve such an effect, and most importantly - why they do it, we have to delve into the geography, talking about Bulgakov's "treating like with like." Yes, the Russian drink to get rid of the "intoxication of the second day." That's the dialectic, your turn.

And now it's time to once again feel proud of their country. In the fight against "futsuka ёy" Uradzimiru-san was faced with an insurmountable obstacle - his hands were shaking. Pour some more turns, but to convey to the mouth - no longer exists. The solution was found ingenious. Uradzimiru San bag hung right hand with a glass cloth, a towel hanging around his neck and pulled ... the free end of the left hand. Hand with a glass of rose and neck stabilized unwanted reciprocating ...

Power in the Soviet Union was also a very exciting process, not something that is in present-day Japan. Buy, for example, canned beans with - and there stuffed! Or vice versa. Buy beans, knowing that there just beans, Russian, probably not interested. A canned themselves, by the way, were in short supply. He calls someone in-law Ivanova-san to work, they say, in the department brought the deficit, so the entire department is running to the store to stand in line, and - unthinkable for a Japanese - Work stops!

More stereotypes
But it's all the jokes, and the book itself is written with great love for Russia. Keiko Ivanova tells how the Soviet Union collapsed, and it is difficult to live when your country disappears. Like most Soviet youth he dreamed of jeans. As the streets of Moscow ride buses with strange horns. And many other things, which significantly extends the standard set of "vodka, balalaika bear».

Of course, Japanese is interesting only unusual, but the fact that we are quite normal people in between long "futsuka ёy" remains outside the brackets. On the other hand, do not come to us unusual, we would not be interested in the other. And the life of a Russian husband, no one would write comics, as they do not write about life with her husband, an American, for instance. So what are some stereotypes can be easily converted into a brand. You just need something ... a little self-irony. We have, of course, a special way around, especially in the treatment of a hangover, but it is not necessary to treat this so seriously.

In connection with this - the last "anecdote" is already in my collection. During the war, tens of thousands of Japanese prisoners of war were in the Soviet camps. Among them was the grandfather of my friend at the institute. In captivity, he watched as his compatriots, one after another die of hunger, and realized that in order to survive, he has to learn the Russian language and become a translator in the camp.

Now my grandfather 90 years, and he had forgotten not only native Japanese, but even the names of relatives. But the Russian language Soviet campers Yoshio Tsugawa not forgotten! He lives in Hokkaido, because Tokyo is too warm. So we are with the Japanese closer to each other than it seems.

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