You have decided to get married to a programmer Bashny.Net

Chapter 1.
 WHY YOUR CHOICE - BEST

Dear girls and women, you have decided to marry a programmer?
 You made the right choice, indicating the presence of you ostro- of mind and good taste.
Let's try to justify this apparent thought a few examples.

1. Programmer combines the best features of a person with Down syndrome and a sea captain.
Every night (except for the evenings, when he speaks intellectually with other programmers), he was at home at the computer, but at the same time, his thoughts far away.

2. When he came home at the time, how do you communicate with your (or a miracle mode, no difference) lover, suffice it to say: "My dear, this is my colleague. He knows nothing about computers. »
 The only disadvantage that you will experience is that the lover will offer next time to meet with him.

3. If you suddenly want to smoke or drink, he will not deny you this, because he does it all the time.

4. It will never annoy you that when you are tired, cook dinner, he lies on the couch, staring at the newspaper or the TV.
 The programmer knows the place better than any trained dogs. It is - the computer.

5. You will never have to think about what to give him a holiday. In any event it will be insanely happy simple box Floppies his beloved company.

6. You do not have tormented the evening on what to cook him for dinner. Programmers are omnivorous.

Chapter 2.
 HOW TO MAKE YOUR DREAM.

If your chosen withstood all of your checks on usefulness (some of the tests are given in the next chapter), then it will get easier.
Dare to give you some advice.

1. Having come to visit him, ask him to show you his archive. If he has less than 128 floppy disks, it is still too young for marriage. If the disk had more than 512, then it is either married or already divorced. (The rule action exists in a geometrical progression.
1024 Owner diskettes can be divorced twice, and the owner of 2048 - 3zhdy.) If he will show you a tape device (the device is), then, in principle, it is possible to hunt, but be aware that on-Major.
Well, if he will mumble that his archives have devoured viruses, gophers or moles, or say that his archive at work, _ochen_ carefully read the next chapter.

2. Find out when the mail-time at his favorite bibieskah. Then you do not bude- those tormented on why he did not call time.
You will always know when he will call you (customary at five o'clock in the morning). And he will not take offense at you for your children's resentment.

3. Disconnect the night before the wedding of his estate. Nothing serious is if the wedding will be grim. The main thing is it will be at the wedding.

4. Try to spend their honeymoon in a place where there is no power supply.
And then try not to be sad all my life, thinking that month.

Chapter 3.
 HOW TO DISTINGUISH fake.
 In recent years, the Chinese underground pirate companies produce a lot of imitations of our products.
Some of these fakes are not even visible external defects and have a normal shape of the eyes and not a vpol- red eyes and nose.
Without revealing all the secrets of our company describe several tests to distinguish our product from the fake.

1. Girls without complexes can use test for the rejection of the most flagrant fakes. Ask the man who claims that he is a programmer, you show your pisyuk.
If he will show you something different from the PC, you can slap him and drive away.

2. Being alone with a verifiable say the phrase: & quot; Native Mother! & Quot; or "own mother!". This programmer immediately say, "Where? .." And begin to look around in search of the board.

3. Invite your chosen somewhere where there is a computer and put it next to your computer diskette.
If the disk will not appear immediately in the drive or a pocket or your partner, even if he does not ask that on this floppy, it's a fake.

4. In the worst possible moment to ask him questions such as: & quot; My favorite, and Hai disketa- it good or bad? & Quot; or & quot; My dear, that you do if you were given by Frech? & Quot ;.
This programmer answers to such questions in any state.

5. If the answer to your words: "Honey, I want you to remember me in all my life!" He drags you out of bed, and present it to the skaneru- extending programmer.

6. Somehow, being alone with him, ask him somewhere natsara- Paty memory word of three bukv- Int.
If he writes it INT- quicly if int- write an applied, but if you ask, "Do you have those initials?" - Chase out.

Chapter 4.
 OPERATING notes and hints.
 The latest study researches the scientists established that programmisty- creative nature. Therefore, they are tender, thin-skinned, and you need to treat them with great care.
Otherwise, you can ruin our product, or to be beaten itself, or may occur disintegration of the Union (the family, not the country).

1. Never put your interests ahead of his interests. If You Wish to mink coat, and he's going to the money to buy expensive periphery, not ustaivayte skandalov- he did not succumb.
Better to say, "Honey, let's buy me a fur coat, and then I'll put on this coat and you're barking at me ber wonderful SIFCO!»

2. Census programmer show Dendy, but do not give up. He immediately becomes better, but do not let him break it to you Dendy-even Examples good next time.

3. Try to study their language. For example, in programming terms: & quot; Are you ohrenel at your computer? How long can you wait in pos- Teli? & Quot; sounds like: & quot; You interrupt that do not react? I have now in bed IRQ entire suspension system! & Quot;

4. If it works, try not to include both in the same outlet iron, electric kettle, electric tongs, television, washing machines and so on. N ...
The programmer, unpreserved its program by- Vaeth _STRASHEN _ !!!

5. Try to memorize the sound of a connection (or, if your husband silica con, then call sysop for spruce).
This can be useful to you in many situations. for example, the husband comes into the kitchen and needs are, and dinner is not ready.
Whistler this magical musical phrase and you bude- are pleasantly surprised at how quickly it disappears from the kitchen, rushed to his computer.