How to buy computer equipment

- Come into the room wearing a gas mask and with a Geiger counter. Before taking a box with some peripherals together, are carefully measured her background.

 - Examining the box, loudly complaining, why not specified expiration date. This suspiciously sniffing box.

 - Tell us what you're on a diet, and demand components without cholesterol and preservatives. Hastaivayte on the fact that it should be clearly written on the packaging.

 - Suspiciously ask, is not genetically modified card. Say that a person is not entitled to take the place of God, and that any change in the device components.

 - Seeing a computer mouse, strict prosecutorial voice ask what it is. After receiving a response, squeals and jumps on the table.

 - To beg you to sell memory modules without a prescription. Explain that the recipe you have forgotten just because of problems with memory.

 - Ask what the Internet there are on sale. Ha all attempts to clarify the answer: "Not morochte my head, all my friends in the computer have internet!»

 - Bring along two companions. Refer to them "citizens of the witnesses."

 - Try to see the card up to the light. Loudly proclaim that it is a fake, because it does not have a watermark.

 - Ask where you can try on the power cord.

 - Ask about the size of the hard drive. Having received the answer, asked anxiously, he will not sit down after washing.

 - Indignantly ask the other customers: "Do you know how many accidents, helpless suffering of electrons at each tick of the processor ?!»

 - Ask the currency entered the motherboard, and whether to make her childless men.

 - Inquire whether there is a computer that you plan to buy a processor. After receiving an affirmative answer, in despair exclaims, "Oh my God! Just do it! I'm allergic to processors! ".

 - Requires instruction in Russian-mouse pad.

 - Bring a handwritten ancient tome bound in leather in bronze clasps. Hudnym voice list in detail the technical characteristics of your devaysa carefully checking the folio. When you bring the ordered device, fall down in front of him on his knees, vozdente arms to the ceiling and cried, "Oh Black Talisman of the Old Gods, I finally found you!".

 - Ask what the amount of hard drive. After receiving an answer indignantly exclaims: "Young man, at your age a shame not to know that volume is measured in cubic centimeters!".

 - Ask your dealer which of the NICs, in his opinion, is most suitable for the color of your eyes.

 - Be interested in what is a sign of each of the components. Trustee tell us what you have had problems with the motherboard scorpion, which could not get along with any graphics card, the Virgin or the Winchester Twins.

 - In every way he is portraying terrible embarrassment and averting his eyes, whispering a pack ask modems.

 - Ask how much it costs the hard drive. Having received the answer, nod, "Well, I cut two hundred grams - two hundred and fifty».