Who rest of our time in a sanatorium savetskom, the circus was crying like a hyena. And here's why.
I rested". For his sopsvennye BAPCO. 700 euro to 15 days, not to mention the cost of delivery to the city Petegorsk kovkaz. With panoramic views of the Caucasus Mountains. Former resort tseka kepesees.
Judging by the Members referred booklet there waiting viaypi vacation in retro style - a solid marble and Bukhara carpets, which in the past eked out a respectable hemorrhoid many prominent sovetskie bosses.
I dreamed of love with the idea Chuchhe sixteen Komsomol and other Thai massages for members palitbyuro. I saw myself Fedele Castro who mulatto in white coats salute as the honored guest.
Style retro style actually turned them underground. Lenin. Underground shit. I kept looking around in search of signs "Exit to the city."
Bukhara carpets also were close to pissing cloths tefoznyh camels. But UTB garbage.
Teator begins with vesholki and resort with dining whore.
In the dining room zhrachku transported to the morgue multilevel gurneys brutal elderly kamsomolki-minetchitsa, they make them ahead of time and make carbolic acid green paint that does not discourage views cadaver spots Opet the "holidaymakers". (zdaetsa INTO the same gurneys and they spent the night in holodillnike whore). Parallel tuberculous woman in a striped robe huyarila the piano Chopin funeral march. It lacked only the inscription at the entrance "To each his own."
The gas chambers were, judging by Shmona and frantic screams from the kitchen.
Tables with numbers like stalls in a pigsty, whore, and if you accidentally sat at the table, you have until the end of harchueshsya this place like a sheep tied by the leg.
I was put on duty prokazhonnoy old woman at a table with three dumb babischa of Moscow and Moscow region, who gave tutzhe "bony" for this shokolatku, storushka thrust himself entirely in the fairing and the riding crop gurney jubilantly went to the kitchen to participate in the preparation dyavolsokoy Mass. In short, the Kings horor Kafka and Edgar Allan Poe began to walk by himself from a prelude rest.
Babischa steel tutzhe Chota rasprashivat and tell. One smiles all the time. In eyny mouth it was scary to watch - there was a whole periodic table from graphite rods and ending with some copper wire spizhzhenoy of elevator shafts. The whole history of dentistry and achieve sovetskoy Metrostroi piisyat in recent years. I think that it gave oral sex even Trotsky's ice ax.
After some phrases in her mouth slipped a spark.
Two other women once shared with me information about their ectopic pregnancy, scabies, congenital Sifaka and okontsovke choir was invited for an evening disco. A "Periodic Table", without giving me zahavali yogurt with squash caviar, vopsche invited to his room immediately.
Well at least not otpizdili.
I had relatives in the city Petegorske INTO saved me from instant insanity, because I relied, that in my case the ransom for seashells or Cho over there in the mountains, prehistoric fucking move.
But it's all garbage.
The room turned out to be damn escho one zhylets (Tipo that day was not odnokueshnyh rooms). He okazalso FSB colonel they are even fucking khalyavnykh spa voucher.
This tenant was snoring so ahuenno that night, I did not know or smeyatso Plakoto. Even a wild storm unthinkable across the Caucasus, where hundreds of incredible lightning cut the sky and thunder makes atsky mountain Avez and guerrillas to stop frictions, even this brutal sound that could kill the souls of the dying wheeze swine who published my neighbor number. By the sound as it perished and austere herd of pigs digging a hundred.
I Metals line like Lermontov before the duel.
Choice nebylo - or jump out the window, or kill the fuck pedorasa who snored and exhalation and inhalation and eblom and ass, and nostrils and ears ... Karoche resonated throughout the body as abnormal singer Makferri (Dont Worry bi Happy), only louder decibels 90 .
Fortunately Room okazalso balcony with sun loungers and temperature behind 20 Celsius.
There I learned how the sunrise on the possessed by a demon. As soon as the beginning of the rise sontse (5 am fuck), neighbor shut and was just rhythmically fart. Hula can I say - the sanatorium, rest home, thank you and on this one.
But (at six) suddenly something pounding all around whore. It was a compressor outside. Ebanarot in sanatoriums carried coal disguised as a "repair the lawn."
Two prehistoric mixers, fifteen nintendo miners razebany tower crane on a wood-powered, smelly diesel fuel tank for orphans - all ahuenno harmoniously fit into the overall picture of my holiday vacation.
At about eight started treatment. Sopsna I went there not to die, and to be treated ihnimi magic mud and massages and other huetoyyu from free sources smelly Bonaqua.
I myself drunk once brutally uebalsya a horizontal bar (sitting on the bar and colorful yard rooting for players), uebalsya just like the joke about the full bruised old lady. Uebalsya three times in succession, as in quadruple time had no strength vskorabkatso on the horizontal bar.
Nevertheless, three times was enough to razebat spine.
I do not know what the dick, but first of all, I was sent to a urologist. Laughing on every word that the doctor gave some invaluable tips to preserve prostate piisyat years ahead after otvalitsa end. And finally he proposed to buy him a couple of vials of strychnine overdue and brutal syringe "And forward - to make shots ... gee-gee. I mean, gee-gee in butt egy-gee-gee ".
Then I was at a reception the therapist who put me psychotropic recording Cuckoo and the Nightingale. Despite the fact that I was speechless at that time, and damn barely crawling, psihoterapevtu failed vtyuhat me kassetu recording their damn medicinal carts such as: Do you fell off the end - it's fucking, you have fallen off the liver - this is garbage, you I had the wool - it is very good.
After these two sessions, I still went to the mud. I was there actually rolled into the asphalt. From a large sewer pipe asphalt mixed with camel by shit eboshit in a gurney and you will quickly become a chocolate rabbit.
Suffered burns back and eggs, stinking the whole Caucasus mountain range as a camel crap in the crater of the volcano, the following procedure I went to do a nearby tavern, where naebenilsya beer.
Then drunk went to the "failure" - the place where Bender sell tickets. In a pool of hot mineral water under the mountain, lay a mountain (pun intended) decaying half-naked bodies "holidaymakers". Most were covered with sores. Old women in bras, parachutes, old men in family shorts with stripes. All of them were free then in a large bottle of mineral water exuding miasma and rejoicing. Rypki gold.
Deaf to walk, quickly finishing lame.
Below, under the mountain I was seen limping eksgebitsionist who masturbate looking at dvadtsativedernyh old ladies standing in the shadow of saxaul. (maybe it was a tree Anchar) I do not know whether he had a referral from a urologist for such treatments.
Following the panoramic "Caucasian species" I was very sober and poshol for re beer kebab following procedure.
In general it can be continued indefinitely - every day and hour brought me a lot of wonderful experiences, ranging from the fight with the local Gopnik, that there Dahua, ending disabling street lights throughout the city and surrounding area at 21:00 every night. (and it's dark whore at this time, in the ass, but heard cries of jubilant baboons who are taking a bath in the "failure" in the absence of old ladies, and to carry loopback song "Musi Puxi" from each ebanovo sanatorium, where the dark disco Armenians probe Basedow for bulging eyes)
Let me just note that once saw a young Armenian who was swimming in the style lezginka - so damn hot guy sho ahuet. He began to dance on the beach and has since entered the water continued to frantically move your hands (with a knife, he did not seem to take, so the fish simply prepared by the cruel eblu). Style swimming like something to "crawl".
It was famous among venereologists "Pyatigorsk reservoir." Drunk and stoned hachi catamarans and pressed their own and others. Son stoked catamaran father and then the son drowned uncle, and so on to infinity catamaran goes to those places be inherited, for hachey there like ants nerezanyh.
Removing the stress and neutralize the effects of treatment, pubs, cost me somewhere else 1000 Baku commissars 15 days.
I'm afraid to fly airplanes. So I went back home for two days in the same compartment with non-Russian dude and evo two wonderful daughters, age five or six, which continuously shouting and shit every half-hour into the pot from the comfort of a coupe, behaved as it should be for children and monkeys at the zoo - had zatarivatsya beer at every stop.
Home came to the eyebrows.
So ended my link to the Caucasus.
Of course, I never will the same humorist, will always boyatsa catamarans, senseless squander money, but survived and is the main bonus of the whole spa vacation bespezdy.
Forgot else to write about the state protected gazebo where Lermontov booze before the duel. So in the gazebo Armenians from around the world travel several times a year to postpone the larva. Previously just wrote "Khachik Khachaturyan and Julieta Hakobyan here Iblis bistro and shaverma", and now in turn by shit shit - healthy young dung flies die from volvulus ...