The Illusion of the Perfect Past: Why We Lament and How to Reclaim the Joy of Life

In the cycle of everyday life, many of us sometimes catch ourselves thinking that “before it was better.” Memories of past days are colored in warm colors, the past seems carefree and full of missed opportunities. At the same time, the present appears gray and routine, and the future is uncertain and unsettling. This condition, when nostalgia for the past is combined with pessimism for the present and the future, psychologists call the bias of decadence. This cognitive distortion can significantly darken our lives, depriving us of the joy of today and creating fear of tomorrow.

Why does the past seem perfect?

The phenomenon of idealization of the past has deep psychological roots. Our memory is selective: over time, negative memories fade or are replaced, while positive memories, on the contrary, become brighter and more emotionally intense. This process, known as the Rosy Retrospection effect, causes us to remember past events more pleasantly than they actually were. A vacation that seemed full of minor troubles, in a year can appear in memory as an idyllic time of serenity. Meetings with friends, overshadowed by disputes, are remembered later as fun gatherings.

Moreover, the past has been completed and ordered. We know how events ended, and we can build causal relationships. The present is chaotic and unpredictable, and the future is completely hidden behind the veil of uncertainty. This uncertainty can cause anxiety and discomfort, increasing our craving for a stable and “understandable” past.

Impact of Social Media and Media

Modern media and social media also play a role in shaping decadence bias. News feeds are often full of negative events, creating a sense of instability and decline. In social networks, people tend to show only the best moments of their lives, forming the illusion of others’ well-being and their own imperfection. Comparing one’s “present” to someone’s “idealized past” (or present presented in the best light) can increase feelings of dissatisfaction and longing.



Why is the present sad and the future bad?

Rejection of the present is often associated with routine, daily worries, and unresolved problems. By focusing on the challenges and negative aspects of the present moment, we lose sight of the positive aspects and opportunities that surround us. Comparing the present with the idealized past inevitably leads to feelings of loss and dissatisfaction.

A pessimistic view of the future can be caused by various factors: personal negative experiences, the influence of disturbing news, public mood. Anticipation of future difficulties and disasters paralyzes, deprives motivation and ability to enjoy the present. Predicting negative events can become a self-fulfilling prophecy if we subconsciously act to make those predictions come true.

Cognitive distortions that fuel pessimism

A number of cognitive distortions contribute to the formation of a negative view of the present and future. Among them:

• Negative filter: The tendency to notice and exaggerate the negative aspects of a situation while ignoring the positive aspects.
• Catastrophizing: The tendency to perceive current or future problems as unbearable and catastrophic.
• Depreciation of the positive: The tendency to downplay positive events and achievements.

These distortions create a vicious cycle: negative thoughts generate negative emotions, which in turn reinforce negative perceptions of reality.

How to overcome the bias of decadence and restore the joy of life?

Awareness of the bias of decadence is the first and most important step on the way to changing your worldview. Here are some practical strategies to help you rethink the past, appreciate the present, and be optimistic about the future:

1. Practice mindfulness (mindfulness). Focus on the present moment, observing your thoughts and feelings without judgment. It will help you notice the beauty and possibilities that exist here and now.
2. Keep a gratitude journal. Write down a few things you are grateful for every day. This will shift the focus from what you lack to what you already have.
3. Rethink your memories. Try to remember not only the pleasant moments of the past, but also the difficulties that you have successfully overcome. Realize that the past was not perfect, and you have grown through experience.
4. Focus on your goals and actions. Instead of worrying about an uncertain future, set specific goals and start taking steps to achieve them. Active activity gives a sense of control and fills life with meaning.
5. Limit the consumption of negative information. Reduce your time spent reading disturbing news and browsing social media that trigger negative emotions.
6. Develop positive thinking. Try to notice and appreciate the little joys of life. Challenge your negative thoughts by asking yourself, “How true is this?” and “What other interpretations are there?”
7. Talk to positive and supportive people. Environment plays an important role in our emotional state. Spend more time with those who inspire and support you.
8. Take care of your physical and mental health. Regular exercise, healthy eating and adequate sleep have a beneficial effect on our mood and overall well-being. If necessary, seek help from a psychologist or therapist.

Conclusion
Decline bias is a common cognitive distortion that can cloud our perception of reality and deprive us of the joy of life. By recognizing this trend and applying practical strategies to rethink the past, evaluate the present and form a positive outlook on the future, we can break out of this vicious circle and learn to appreciate every moment of our lives. Remember that the past is experience, the present is opportunity, and the future is what we create today.

Glossary
The Prejudice of Decline (Declinism)
A cognitive bias characterized by the belief that things were better in the past, the present worsens and the future will be worse.
The Rosie Effect (Rosy Retrospection)
A psychological phenomenon in which people tend to remember past events more positively than they actually were.
Mindfulness (Mindfulness)
The psychological process of focusing on the present moment, on sensations, thoughts and emotions, without evaluating them.
Negative filter
Cognitive distortion, in which a person tends to pay attention and exaggerate the negative aspects of a situation, ignoring the positive ones.
Catastrophe
Cognitive distortion in which a person tends to perceive current or future problems as unbearable and catastrophic.
Impairment of the positive
A cognitive bias in which a person tends to downplay positive events and achievements.
Self-fulfilling prophecy
The process by which a person’s expectations of a future event influence their behavior in such a way that the event is more likely to occur.