Ha topic of the day :)

-Yury Mikhailovich, it's time to ... Oh, my God, Yuri Mikhailovich, again? Well, as you in this form are going to go to the press conference? And three hours later you to the presentation of a new publishing house! There are writers, professors, journalists in the end !!!

Look, Jack ... You're my assistant, my secretary and I'll pay for a lot of money. HERE And to think of something !!!

-Yury Mikhailovich, I understand you're a very active person, skiing, snowboarding and all that ... But people start gossiping. They say that you are someone methodically beat. Come up with jokes about your relationship with your wife. That's just a funny anecdote heard, "went on a ski vacation Luzhkov and his wife, and she tells him ...
-A Well, aside !!! Jokes he tells me! You better call the make-up here, and start to think about before zhurnalyugi excuse. And that was significantly!
I did yesterday on Sparrow Mountains ezdil.Na skate skiing.
-Yury Mikhailovich. On the sparrow mountains for three weeks never seen snow. So do not go. Can you tell me what happened, and I pretty veil ...
-Chtooo ??? Yes, who are you to ask me to ask you? I already told you that this is my personal matter, and nobody else does not touch !!! Pshol out, and that after 10 minutes was ready to "clean", "legend" !!!
Referend beat a hasty retreat from the mayor's office. "This is an old stump wear out ... He bruises and cuffs where the whips, and I have to take the rap. Tired! Now he dashed off delirium, then let himself raskhlebyvaet.Kazel! "
"That freak .." - thought Luzhkov- "And why should I pay him the money? So they harassed my nerves? Kazel !!! "
After 40 minutes, at a press conference

-Mr Luzhkov, and what happened to you again? Like the old bruises recently passed, and now the new? Probably all still have to tie with skis, no?
There was laughter in the slender ranks of journalists.
Luzhkov ulybnulsya- "No, this time my passion for winter sport and no .."
"I traveled daviche on Sparrow Mountains, ski ride" - the mayor heard the voice of referenda in microphone
-Ezdil I daviche on Sparrow Mountains, ski ride ..- repeated mechanically Yuri Mikhailovich, but realized his mistake and oseknulsya, but it was too late.
The whole room was filled with laughter journalists.
Mayor pobagrovel- "I'll kill the bitch, referend fucking" - and smiled shyly hall began feverishly to come up with something to say.
But nothing comes up with, unfortunately usually imaginative and left him in the head mayor of large, bright red letters throbbed only one sentence:
"The first rule of Fight Club: Never talk about Fight Club!"

© LeytenantShMIDT

+ Anecdote, too close to the topic =)
He calls me, so now each Vovik and indignant:
 - You imagine! Just this your Moscow elite oborzela!
I went today to go skiing.
Climbed the slope, ski donned glasses, all as expected.
Just started downhill, gaining speed, suddenly some bastard
I cuts, hurts my skis, I'm falling, and he stops and starts to shove me mate.
Well, I'm actually the guy low-key, but by such impudence I already shudder!
I catch up with him, and with a stick on the head like ёbnu, then in the eyes, then with his feet on the liver ...
Cap fell off him, look, mug some familiar kind of ... got accustomed - well, exactly Luzhkov damn!
I told him: "You, Yura Mikhailovich, ohuel that if at all? Who goes something like this? "
And he told me: 'packs, packs ... Cherubic Hymn! Sorry, says, Vladimir Vladimirovich! I do not recognize from the back! "