Ulybnёmsya / 3

How can we take the blonde for a few hours?
 - Hapisat on a piece of paper with both stopony "Pepevepni».

Casino in the morning. Almost everyone left, at the far table with a tape measure
miss two croupiers. Suddenly the table fits perfectly Freaky
girl.
 - I want to play.
 - Please.
 - Only once.
 - Please.
 - Put on the number of $ 1,000.
 - Wow! Oh please.
 - I will win. I always win.
 - Good luck.
 - I have a happy method. I'll play without a skirt without
panties. Do you mind?
Dealer little ohrenevayu:
 - Why against? Please.
The girl takes off her skirt, panties:
 - Let the ball.
The croupier throws the ball. The girl begins to rise from the table:
 - Come on, come on, well, well, well! .. Well .. !! .. !!! WELL WELL !!!
URA-ah-ah-ah !!! What did I say !!!
Rushes to the dealer begins to embrace, kissing ball ...
Gone crazy stickman stupidly counted her chips, she dresses and
goes ... One dealer says to another:
 - Hmm! It happens the same way! By the way, what fell?
 - M% Deal! And that even though she put?

- Mother, you want your daughter, I photograph with a monkey? ... Monkey Girl ... girl ... so, mother. Here's a piece of chalk, mark girl cross.

Like mermaids breed? =)

Calls to the veterinary service

 - Where can I buy a deodorant to smell cat?

 - Our dog's anus sucked thermometer. What to do?
 - We have a 2-month-old puppy chi-hua-hua. We have it randomly 3 days were not fed. Why did not she gets up, looks sad and often breathes?

 - Cut the cord kittens ?! What do you mean ?! And how will they defecate and write?

 - Our cat 2:00 back electric shock. She still did not move. Do you think she's alive?

 - From the street to the apartment burst into an unknown pit bull. Broke the mirror in the mirror, narychal us, he peed on the corner and was gone. He is not mad?

 - Rottweiler stab wounds in the neck, the whole apartment in the blood. Do I need a doctor, or is itself somehow pass?

 - There is a goose in the pond! Save !!!

 - Tell me where you can buy a magic pill for all ills, which in Greece is on sale for 250 euros?

 - Canary angrily throws and does not take away from the nest egg. Che to do something?

 - We're puppy was photographed with a flash. Say it is now not much suffering?

 - Stray dog ​​came to our shop, ate all the sausages and still does not go away. How to drive it?

 - We have here is the elk, hit by a car. So you come somewhere and bury him taken to the cops for dinner got nothing.

 - I accidentally Skurov with cigarette whether the tarantula, or a scorpion. What kind of cigarettes, you say? So each brought from Central Asia.

 - At what age can allow decorative hens become sexually active?

 - Budgie sat on a hot griddle. Not already soars minutes 5. What happened to him?

 - We have your cat made 40 shots from an inflammation of the uterus, and we still here painted in the stairwell. So that smells strongly. Can I give her a boiled liver, or it should be only boiled water scald?

 - Tell me, is whether the dogs' paw hard "? And today she went to a bowl, lacquer varnish, lacquer varnish, and the water is not diminished.

 - I have a dog kind of sad walks. What I cheer her up?

 - And what a cat chasing worms if it does not go anywhere? She's three months living in the country, and where there are worms, she does not go there.

 - We have a wild rat in the toilet, we have it with the brush, and she had bitten again dived.

Slurred, but with feeling: - I bought cancer, wanted to cook and eat, and then I felt sorry for him. You do not tell us how to keep the crayfish and what to feed them?

 - We have in the "Matrosskaya Tishina" bad pig gives birth. The hands are not given. We watered it with beer, so she calmed down. What next to do something?

 - We rabbit tail accidentally damaged. Bleeding did not seem to see, but judging by the fact that the tail in my hand, it should be.

 - We have the shark seems to be choked, because it has 20 minutes of not breathing. Come immediately and make her a shot of adrenaline to the heart!

 - He calls the granny and wondered whether the dogs distinguish the colors. She replied that no precise data, but, apparently, do not distinguish. And she gives out: "This can not be! How then Wolves see red flags ?! "