Of course, I understand everything. And the desire of all the ladies, including my favorite, to become even better than they really are. But their maniacal desire to do better all around me probably unavailable ... It all started, as usual, after the holidays. My missus tried to start a new life with the beginning of the year. But not so.
Basin with Olivier and Grandma inglorious Napoleon helped her lose the fight with the love of fries and donuts with jam and other goodies. Therefore, the struggle has been temporarily postponed. Now Kate has decided that those extra two centimeters at the waist that were in it, as I know it, prevent it this year just to impossible.
My dear put on her jeans worn in the ninth grade. As soon fastened, and pouted. On my timid remark that Katyusha was placed in these jeans exclusively in the "lying" the last five years, I got clout. And for what ?! It is not clear.
It seems to me, Kate begins to go crazy. Come on, let him lose weight, but what of all the other mock? My feed all the delicious charm of what was in the fridge, our cat. Murzik stunned, swollen and legs barely reach the ground.
For dinner, the whole family is eating something that could be unsalted rice. I say "might" because the contents of the plates without a microscope was almost invisible. Infection-Tesza actively supported Katya.
The operation did not go, and fled. I am waiting for a lunch break as manna from heaven. Colleagues looked with pity. Someone joked: "You what ?! wife does not feed." Jokers bad. In the evening-in-law tried to ask women a normal dinner. Yeah. Katka has set Daddy plate with carrot stew. Well, the child they raised. Above his own father mocks so!
Cat Murzik asked to be free. I suspect that is not the cats. The poor man has long forgotten generosity treacherous mistress, and now, as a full member of the family, too, is fed dietary products. Asks the street. It is found now, not soy meat.
A Tesza still people. He had managed to smuggle into the house past the watchful Katie kulёk candy. We must remember that it is such love, and somehow her to buy (oh, I? Mother-in? Candy? That brought ...) After the battle with Katkina centimeters over. "Katya, well, why are you at war with them?" - I whisper softly in her ear evening. "Centimeters are small, and you're more ..." No sooner had finished. Nothing nothing. We assume a slight blow to the ear massage.
I'm tired of all. He tried to explain his beloved wife that a man should eat well, otherwise he everything will not force. Did not help. But it was also fun. Watched as my father in law, oh, I'm sorry, Dad, a man of outstanding physique, after work eat a salad of celery, and so plausibly said: "I'm fed up!" Yes, there the actor disappears.
The seventh day
Cheers, Friday! After work - beer, beer, beer, with potatoes, with sausages and any boiled vegetables! From heaven to earth ... "Darling, you go back home early today because erasing car will bring ..." Well, no, what ste ... my wife's favorite. Her envy of any technical education, and she pretends that it can not cope with a washing machine. This is, in women's magazines advised to pretend stupid and helpless? In those where advised to lose weight with the whole family?
In the evening Tesza waylaid me at the entrance to the bathroom and slipped silently into the hand of a sandwich with bacon. I almost wept and whispered, "Thank you, Mom." That heroic woman. And where she hides it?
Everything is lost. Murzik found on the balcony Teschin stash. At night, I heard him growling, tearing teeth fat. I scared him to approach that would be taken away. He lay awake and envied. In the morning my mother went to a friend with a hungry gleam in his eye, and the test called me into the bath. As expected, the sauna before we arrived and settled in the nearest cafe. All returned home well-fed and complacent, where they found an evil and hungry Katia in hot dispute with the instruments of torture. Scales fiercely resisted the onslaught of her and refused to move the arrow to the left a little.
The ninth day
The crisis came. The visit was Katina girlfriend. With a cake and a bottle of martini. And frankly puzzled about offered her pancakes from zucchini. She told Kate about the harm to the body and Budget greenhouse zucchini. I happen to underestimate this sweet, wonderful gossip and skandalistki Luda. Damn. Sooner rejoiced. She made a terrible mistake - said, "Honey, you lost weight." It's just a nightmare. I have long noticed that women say it to each other just like that, on occasion, just to please. And we further tortured. Thank you, Luda, inspired.
It seems that a storm is brewing. Kate pulled out of the closet the very damned jeans. And - jeans buttoned her easily. Strange. I could have sworn that no one centimeter is not my favorite thin (here's the paradox - all lost weight and Kate - no). Mom and Dad exchange glances slyly. And then I illuminates - long live the sewing machine and Teschin capable hands! And quite happy Kate got in my hands with a plate on which lay a huge piece of cake, and hopefully for a long time left this stupid idea. I did love her, not those notorious centimeters. A "reference" jeans I hid away. Where - I saw only Murzik. But he did not give.