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Conflictology: An eco-friendly way to get what you need from someone who isn’t close to you

Introduction
We are all faced with a situation where you need to get something important from a person who for various reasons. spotless Help us. It could be a boss who does not want to approve a vacation, a colleague who refuses to share information, or even a relative who stubbornly stands his ground. How to convince a person without manipulation and pressure, while maintaining a constructive relationship?
The secret lies in using principles. conflictology The science of conflict resolution and compromise. In this article, we will analyze environmentally friendly ways of interacting with difficult people, allowing you to achieve the desired result.
Why do people say no?
Before looking for ways of persuasion, it is worth understanding why a person resists. Main reasons:
- Lack of personal gain. If a request does not benefit a person, he has no motivation to help.
- Previous negative experiences. There may have been conflicts or misunderstandings in the past.
- Fear of loss. People are afraid of losing resources, status or control.
- Principle. Some people need to defend their position at all costs.
Environmental strategies to achieve the desired
Using the methods of conflictology, you can find a compromise even with the most stubborn person. Consider the key strategies:
1. Emphasize the benefits for the interlocutor
People are more likely to agree if they know their request will not remain free. Try to explain the benefits it will get. For example, if a colleague does not want to help, offer a mutual exchange of services.
2. Use the "Yes, and ..." principle.
The method is taken from acting improvisation. Instead of "but," say "and":
- “I understand that you have a lot of work to do, and I need help to complete the project faster.”
- “You are not ready to discuss this issue now.” and Let's set a convenient time.”
3. Rephrase the request
If the person reacts to your request abruptly, try changing it. Instead of “Do it for me,” say, “What would you do if you were me?” This involves the interlocutor in the search for a solution.

4. Create a “fake choice” effect
Give your partner a sense of control by offering alternatives:
- “Can you help me now or tomorrow, which is more convenient for you? ?
- “We can discuss it in person or over the phone – how do you feel?”
5. Be empathetic.
Try to understand why the person is resisting and say, “I think you’re worried about X.” When a person feels heard, they become more compliant.
6. Use the “delayed refusal” method
If you’ve been told no, don’t get upset. Say, “I know it’s uncomfortable right now. When is the best time to discuss this?” People often change their minds.
Conclusion
Getting your way is an art. Using methods environmental communicationYou can find a common language with even the most difficult people. The main thing is to avoid pressure and manipulation, emphasizing mutual understanding.

Glossary
- Conflictology The science of conflict management and resolution.
- Environmental communication A method of communication that takes into account the interests of both parties, avoiding pressure and manipulation.
- Empathy. The ability to understand and feel the emotions of another person.
- Fake choices A negotiation technique in which the interlocutor is offered alternatives so that he feels in control.