9 Strategies to Stay Calm in Conflict at Work

In a stressful situation, it is important to remain calm to build a constructive dialogue and quickly find a solution to the problem.

Every day, millions of people around the world face conflict in the workplace. According to a study by CPP Inc., employees spend an average of 2.8 hours a week on conflict resolution. That's almost a month of working time a year! At the same time, the inability to manage emotions in stressful situations can lead to serious consequences: from reduced productivity to dismissal.

Important fact: Neuropsychologists have shown that under stress, the amygdala is activated - the region of the brain responsible for primitive fight-or-flight reactions. This blocks the work of the prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for logical thinking and making informed decisions.

Strategy 1: Stop signal technology
1st
When you feel that emotions begin to overwhelm, mentally say “Stop” and take a deep breath for 4 counts, hold your breath for 7 counts, exhale for 8 counts. This technique, known as 4-7-8 breathing, activates the parasympathetic nervous system and helps regain control of emotions.


Practice this technique at home so that at a critical moment it will work automatically.
Strategy 2: External observer method
2.
Imagine looking at the conflict from the outside as if it were a scene from a movie. Ask yourself, “What would a person watching this situation think?” This technique helps to depersonalize the conflict and see it objectively. Psychologists call this cognitive distance.



Strategy 3: The 24-hour rule
3
If the conflict does not require immediate resolution, apply the 24-hour rule. Say, “I need time to think about the situation. Let us continue the discussion tomorrow.” During this time, acute emotions will subside, and you will be able to approach the problem more rationally.


There is space between stimulus and response. In this space lies our freedom and the power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom. - Victor Frankl.

Strategy 4: Anchornia technique
4.
Create a physical anchor of calmness – a specific gesture or touch that you will use in times of stress. For example, squeeze the little finger of your left hand or touch your wrist. Pre-charge this anchor, performing it in moments of complete calm and relaxation.


Strategy 5: The Reframing Method
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Reframe the situation in a positive way. Instead of “He criticizes me,” think “He gives me feedback to grow.” Instead of “It’s a disaster,” it’s a challenge to make me stronger. reframing It changes the neural patterns of the brain and reduces stress levels.


Strategy 6: Active listening techniques
6
Focus on what the opponent says, not on preparing counter-arguments. Repeat the essence of his words: “If I understand correctly, you think that...” This will not only help you stay calm, but will also show the other person that you can hear them.



Strategy 7: The three-issue rule
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Before you react, ask yourself three questions: “Is it true?”, “Is it useful?”, and “Is it good?” If the answer to at least one question is negative, refrain from saying it. This technique prevents impulsive reactions that you may regret.


Strategy 8: Emotional Marking Method
8.
Name your emotion: “I feel irritated right now” or “I feel frustrated.” Research shows that simply naming an emotion activates the prefrontal cortex and reduces amygdala activity. This phenomenon is called affective labeling.


Strategy 9: The Mental Retreat Technique
9.
Mentally leave the conflict situation for a few seconds. Imagine yourself in your favorite place of rest - on the seaside, in the mountains, in a cozy cafe. Use all your senses: what do you see, hear, feel? This creates a neural buffer between stimulus and response.


Practical recommendations for implementing strategies
Start with one technique. Choose the strategy closest to you and practice it throughout the week. Only after it becomes automatic, add the following.

Create an action plan for typical conflict situations. For example, if you often face criticism from your boss, think ahead about what techniques you will use. This will help to avoid confusion at a critical time.
Keep a “conflict diary” – Write down the situations that cause you stress and note which strategies have helped manage your emotions. This will help to identify the most effective methods for you.
Conclusion
The ability to stay cool in conflicts is not an innate talent, but a skill that can be developed. Each of these strategies is based on scientific research and has been tested by thousands of people. Remember, the goal is not to avoid conflict, but to go through it with dignity and find constructive solutions. Your peace of mind is not only a personal advantage, but also an investment in a healthy working environment for the entire team.

Glossary
Amygdala
The amygdala is the area of the brain responsible for processing emotions, especially fear and aggression. In stressful situations, it is activated first, blocking rational thinking.
Depersonalization
The psychological process of detachment from a situation, allowing you to look at it objectively, without emotional involvement.
reframing
The technique of changing the perception of the situation by reformulating or changing the focus of attention. It helps to find positive aspects in negative events.
Affective marking
The process of consciously naming and identifying your emotions leads to a decrease in their intensity.
Parasympathetic nervous system
Part of the autonomic nervous system, responsible for relaxation and recovery of the body. It is activated by deep breathing and meditation.
Prefrontal cortex
The area of the brain responsible for executive functions: planning, decision-making, impulse control and logical thinking.
Frustration
A mental state that occurs when it is impossible to achieve a goal or satisfy a need. Often accompanied by anger and aggression.
Cognitive distance
The ability to mentally detach from the situation and consider it from different points of view, which contributes to a more objective assessment of what is happening.