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The story of how I lost the opportunity to live in my own apartment because of a plate of borscht
The psychology of manipulation is an important field of knowledge that will help you not become someone’s lunch. In an allegorical sense, some people “eat” weaker tribesmen. Make them dance to their tune, causing feelings of fear or guilt. In the end, the victim of the manipulator can become so confused that he thinks himself a tyrant. Or he'll fight back.
Even at our wedding, my mother-in-law, Nina Vasilievna, promised to buy a house for me and my husband. “Don't worry, young people. I'll give you a nice apartment, but a little later.
Her promise did not look unfounded. At that time, her husband’s mother had been working in Italy for 15 years. Her eldest daughter lived in the capital in a gift of two. So, Sergey and I also expected a generous gift.
I chose the area ahead of time, the most prosperous and comfortable. We rented an apartment and found a job. A year after the wedding, I gave birth to a daughter and went on maternity leave. A son followed her.
My mother-in-law never tired of reminding us of her promise. I even asked for options. In August, she planned to come to visit and deal with our issue.
When we arrived, we did not see any apartment. The saddest thing is that they made me the last one. Nina Vasilyevna still does not talk to us. I can't forgive the way we met her. Or rather, never met.
The day before the arrival of her husband’s mother struck nostalgia for the home kitchen. I dreamed of homemade sausages and pumpkins. She asked me to prepare dumplings with squarks for her arrival and cook borscht fatter and thicker.
I faced a difficult choice. It was not difficult for me to set the table for my mother-in-law. But I didn't do it. And all because of Seryozha. Her husband was always in poor health, and doctors prescribed him a strict diet. I know he likes to treat himself tasty. Those strict recommendations to him are like a bone in his throat. So I switched to the same diet and transferred the children. Now we all eat like Sergey.
That's why I didn't cook either borscht or dumplings with fat squarks. But the table for the arrival of my husband’s mother was generous. There was a lot of baked vegetables, rubbed chicken soup on the first and stewed rabbit with rice on the second.
But the expression of my mother-in-law at the table crossed out all my efforts and good thoughts. I immediately brought her up to speed, told her about our diet. We are fighting for the health of Sergey, we have not cooked or eaten anything like this for a long time. But Nina Vasilievna was sitting like she was in the water. It wasn’t as fun as it was when we crossed the door.
And only later the mother-in-law said that we could not wait for her apartment. We are ungrateful arrogant children who showed her their disrespect. They pinched the borscht and the dumplings, you see. And after that, they dare to hope for an expensive gift!
Of course, Sergey did not know about the whims of his mother. I was very upset when I started explaining my actions. How dare I not fulfill his mother's simple request?
Psychology of manipulation: ungrateful children And later my mother-in-law scolded me in front of the whole family. “It is good that you, Anya, have shown your true face. Now I see how you treat me. Your priorities are crystal clear to me. From now on, I will take care of my own needs, Nina Vasilyevna sealed. And my ears almost curled in a tube with resentment and a sense of injustice. Why would I do this?
I wanted the best. She took care of her blood, her beloved son. I know his character more than anyone else. Sergey is not restrained when it comes to his favorite dishes. The apartment is an apartment, and he will suffer with his stomach for weeks after prohibited products. And I'm gonna have to deal with that, too.
My mother-in-law's offense seems far-fetched to me. Some sophisticated psychology of manipulation. It's ridiculous to have a pot with a family over dumplings and borscht! And before that, we're going to make promises. Am I right?
Help me judge this family drama. Who do you think is wrong in this story?
Even at our wedding, my mother-in-law, Nina Vasilievna, promised to buy a house for me and my husband. “Don't worry, young people. I'll give you a nice apartment, but a little later.
Her promise did not look unfounded. At that time, her husband’s mother had been working in Italy for 15 years. Her eldest daughter lived in the capital in a gift of two. So, Sergey and I also expected a generous gift.
I chose the area ahead of time, the most prosperous and comfortable. We rented an apartment and found a job. A year after the wedding, I gave birth to a daughter and went on maternity leave. A son followed her.
My mother-in-law never tired of reminding us of her promise. I even asked for options. In August, she planned to come to visit and deal with our issue.
When we arrived, we did not see any apartment. The saddest thing is that they made me the last one. Nina Vasilyevna still does not talk to us. I can't forgive the way we met her. Or rather, never met.
The day before the arrival of her husband’s mother struck nostalgia for the home kitchen. I dreamed of homemade sausages and pumpkins. She asked me to prepare dumplings with squarks for her arrival and cook borscht fatter and thicker.
I faced a difficult choice. It was not difficult for me to set the table for my mother-in-law. But I didn't do it. And all because of Seryozha. Her husband was always in poor health, and doctors prescribed him a strict diet. I know he likes to treat himself tasty. Those strict recommendations to him are like a bone in his throat. So I switched to the same diet and transferred the children. Now we all eat like Sergey.
That's why I didn't cook either borscht or dumplings with fat squarks. But the table for the arrival of my husband’s mother was generous. There was a lot of baked vegetables, rubbed chicken soup on the first and stewed rabbit with rice on the second.
But the expression of my mother-in-law at the table crossed out all my efforts and good thoughts. I immediately brought her up to speed, told her about our diet. We are fighting for the health of Sergey, we have not cooked or eaten anything like this for a long time. But Nina Vasilievna was sitting like she was in the water. It wasn’t as fun as it was when we crossed the door.
And only later the mother-in-law said that we could not wait for her apartment. We are ungrateful arrogant children who showed her their disrespect. They pinched the borscht and the dumplings, you see. And after that, they dare to hope for an expensive gift!
Of course, Sergey did not know about the whims of his mother. I was very upset when I started explaining my actions. How dare I not fulfill his mother's simple request?
Psychology of manipulation: ungrateful children And later my mother-in-law scolded me in front of the whole family. “It is good that you, Anya, have shown your true face. Now I see how you treat me. Your priorities are crystal clear to me. From now on, I will take care of my own needs, Nina Vasilyevna sealed. And my ears almost curled in a tube with resentment and a sense of injustice. Why would I do this?
I wanted the best. She took care of her blood, her beloved son. I know his character more than anyone else. Sergey is not restrained when it comes to his favorite dishes. The apartment is an apartment, and he will suffer with his stomach for weeks after prohibited products. And I'm gonna have to deal with that, too.
My mother-in-law's offense seems far-fetched to me. Some sophisticated psychology of manipulation. It's ridiculous to have a pot with a family over dumplings and borscht! And before that, we're going to make promises. Am I right?
Help me judge this family drama. Who do you think is wrong in this story?
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