My husband's mom retired, sold everything and moved in. Bashny.Net

“Mum retired this year and said she would live with us in her old age. I love and respect my mother-in-law, but I consider her actions selfish. I am 35 years old, my husband and I have been married for 15 years and we have a very good relationship with his mother. It so happened that this year she turned 60, and we congratulated Lyudmila Dmitrievna on Skype. She thanked for the kind words and said she had news for us, says Lena.



Mother retired “Lyubov Dmitrievna works as a teacher at the university.” She wants to work another year and move in with me and my husband, so that in old age there was someone to look after her. I have a good mother-in-law, in all the years of married life she has not reproached me with anything. Perhaps I was lucky because Lyubov Dmitrievna lives in a small town 300 km away.

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We did not see each other very often for obvious reasons, it is scary to let one mother-in-law go on the road, and they have work, children. In the past year, the husband went with his son to his grandmother on vacation, they were a little there, Sasha told his son about his childhood, they lived with his mother-in-law for two weeks. After such visits, the mother-in-law becomes even kinder, sends gifts for holidays, recently sends money so that we spend it on what is necessary.



My mother-in-law never needed anything. She works at a good university and does not support anyone. Her husband became independent and began working immediately after graduation. For the wedding, my mother-in-law gave my son an apartment in the capital, where we began to live, and when my son grew up, it became a little cramped in one, but better than nothing.



My friends keep telling me it's too tight, Len, I need to expand. My husband works, but we haven’t saved more money for housing yet. This apartment belongs to my mother-in-law. Although we could sell this apartment and buy a two-bedroom apartment over time, Sasha believes that this is not his apartment and he has no right to decide anything.



And so Lyubov Dmitrievna decided to sell all the property in her city and buy a three-room apartment in our city, so that we all lived there together. Like, the grandson's room, me and her husband, of course.



I've already tried to talk to my mother-in-law and say that this is a very bad idea, to put it mildly. We rarely see each other, we have different habits, we don’t get along together. But she wants to be closer to the kids, and that's it. She was inspired by her friend’s example. That friend’s mother is old, she lives in the village, and her friend at one time did not take her to her city, and now she is afraid that nothing will happen. My mother-in-law decided to ease our karma, so to speak.



And when I said that it was better for her to live in a separate apartment, she was outraged and said that she did not know anyone in the new city, and she would be lonely in a one-room apartment without friends and relatives.



The problem is that children and Lyubov Dmitrievna live in different cities. This complicates communication and solving many problems. On the one hand, you can understand the daughter-in-law, but the mother-in-law does not talk nonsense. It is necessary to discuss the topic of cohabitation in the circle of the family, meet everyone together, tell about their experiences and come to a common denominator with the least losses. And if you can not agree, perhaps you should discuss the problem with a family psychologist. Generational conflicts are very difficult to resolve with your mind. What do you think? What would you do in a situation like this?