Do you have to call your mother-in-law a mother if you don’t want to?

Of course, no one will be surprised that mother-in-law They call their mother “Mom.” This is probably the most important person in their lives and it is not strange that in their relationship should be only the warmest feelings.

On the other hand, when a new person appears in the family, namely a daughter-in-law, these relationships are not always so unambiguous. For example, should a young woman call her father-in-law “mom” or not? And if the mother-in-law does not call her son “daughter”, what is wrong with this? Let's figure it out.



We received a letter from a girl who recently got married and was a little stunned by the behavior of her new relative, namely her husband’s mother. I don't know how to be. Maybe you can give me some advice on how to know.

My children, please help me, please explain to me. I recently had a not very pleasant story, not even a story, an incident. I am still in a slight shock and I do not know what to do next.



I am 26 years old, six months ago I got married. I won’t bore you with the story of how gorgeous the wedding was (it was pretty, without too much fanfare), how happy I was and what a beautiful dress I was wearing that day (and that’s the truth). Before and after the wedding, my husband and I had no problems.

We met his parents a year and a half ago, very nice people. I immediately liked them without reservation. They live outside the city, in retirement, keep the house. They bought their son an apartment in the city, first to study, and then he found a good job and so on, you know how it happens.



A couple of months before the wedding, we lived with our husband, and everything was really beautiful. From time to time we visited his parents and mine. At the wedding itself there were no incidents, the standard official part with the registry office and decent walks after.

So, I, as befits a well-bred person, always called my father-in-law and mother-in-law by name. That's how I was taught in school, and I can't do anything else. And before the wedding, everything was fine with that. But at the very celebration, my husband’s mother came up to me a little drunk and said so, simply: “Why do you, Alinka, call me so officially?” Call me Mom now and I'll call you Daughter.

I didn't pay attention to that at the time. Thoughts were somewhere far away, and I also noticed funny notes in her voice and yes, of course I agreed. Well, they're not strangers. How can I call another person such a warm word, even if I have nothing against the person?



I didn’t see my husband’s parents for a while after the wedding. Holidays, households and stuff. But then we decided to make repairs, and the husband offered a couple of days to stay with his mother, so as not to disturb the workers. There's plenty of room in their house, and I don't mind working from home, why not?

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We were well received, set on the table. And then my mother-in-law says, like, daughter, how are things, how long do we have to wait for our grandson and all that. I don’t even mind asking questions about grandchildren, because I’ve heard nothing from friends who were married before. Morally ready for it. But this mother-daughter relationship is beyond my power.

Well, I answer, no, probably not against children, and then we will see. And by the name of the father-in-law, then I glorify my mother-in-law. There is a short pause, a sigh, and the husband’s mother begins a long tirade that since her son has a wife, then she is her daughter automatically, and she, accordingly, her mother. I mean, mine.



I just smiled and kept quiet. The night before everyone went to bed, my mother-in-law wanted to bring it up again, but I was too tired.

After a couple of days, I missed junk food and ordered pizza for everyone. From the other end of the telephone line, they promised that the courier would not arrive until an hour and a half (out of town), and I began to work with a clear conscience, and then went to the shower. After leaving the shower and working for a while, I remembered about the order. Timer said it's been hours and there's no pizza.



There was no one else in the house except “Mama.” After my question, she said yes, of course. He was. But she kicked him out, said they didn't live here. Why not? Because in this house my husband only lives and children. Okay. If you don't think you're my daughter, eat what you're given or eat in a restaurant.

I didn’t tell my husband about the incident until after the renovation was completed and we were in our apartment. He just clapped his eyes and didn’t know what to say. But I understand him, I would probably be confused, too. There.



It's his mom's birthday soon, and we'll have to come visit. I don't mind the money for a gift, I'm not. Just tell me, how am I going to be in this situation, let it go, or do I really have a bit of a scandal? I am not going to change my opinion. I have one mother, and my mother-in-law is also a mother-in-law in Africa.