The gentleman at the romantic dinner struck me with his tiny wrestling, since then I have been worried about one question.

“And pay for the bread yourself, I didn’t eat it,” a pure-blooded German told me during a romantic dinner on the banks of the Spree. Of course, there was no talk of romance after that. To be fair, I didn’t feel much shock. Divide restaurant This is absolutely normal practice among Europeans. I was much more surprised by the perplexity with which he accepted my refusal to go to his home.



Unsplash, dear men, what is going on? Is agreeing to share a meal tantamount to signing an intimate contract? Especially if the gentleman showed courage and paid for dinner. And I would have walked past this burning topic, but not so long ago I saw a heartbreaking Twitter post of one of these gentlemen: If you don't like me, then Don't eat at my expense at the restaurant.? Where to start...

Who should pay for restaurant meals: a man or a woman? Maybe “should” is the wrong word. More precisely, it simply went out of fashion in the early 2000s. After all, even in the last century, many ladies lived in the care of their families or husbands, so they simply did not have their own money for hiking in institutions. From this point of view, paying a bill in a restaurant is not a beautiful gesture, but simply a gesture. duty any self-respecting man. This in our time is possible variety in the form of splitting the bill in half or even full payment by the lady. In turn, there are still knights who pay tribute to traditions. Only now it is a kind of gift, as a sign of good intentions.

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Unsplash Separately want to focus on modern westernism. Some Europeans are very passionate about gender equality when it comes to their wallet. Sharing a basket of bread in a restaurant is no joke when it comes to Germany. If the account is divided, then not in half, but in justice, everyone will pay for what he ate. Even at a barbecue, it is customary to come with your products and leave with their remains. Of course, there are exceptions, but you should not rely on them.

To pay or not to pay, that is the question. There are enough women in Europe who may be offended if a man takes the bill. Some activists pay in principle, despite times when women simply had nothing to pay. Plus, it helps them not feel they owe something. Especially when it comes to "dessert". That no one took restaurant dishes for a fee.



Whatever your beliefs, splitting an account is a pretty intimate and varied thing. I know all kinds of cases, and I've had to pay myself, and for two, and eat at someone else's expense. Situations are different. It is much more interesting to talk about what happens after that.

The dessert question is, “To you or to me?” For some men, going on dates is akin to fishing: he threw the bait and waits for the fish to fall over. Courtship is an important part of a love ritual, and going to a pleasant institution is also. If we talk about selfishnessFor some reason, all the stones fly to women. But this coin has two sides of the coin: is it not selfish to call a treat that was presented with a cold expectation of something more?



I really like the answer of one of my friends. She once told me that she spent a lot more money on dates than a date paid for her. If you add up the amount spent on a makeup artist, hairdresser and manicure, the budget clearly exceeds the average check. Therefore, she does not shamefully accept courtship. billing.

So the phrase “don’t eat at the expense of a man if he is not interesting to you” sounds even slightly naive. Because it reminds me of the admonition that you shouldn't take candy from strangers. Gifts were designed to show the location. And for payment of services, as a rule, money is used directly. So if the cavalier wants to be sure of his “investment”, then he should pay not in a restaurant, but somewhere. elsewhere.



I guess it's wrong that I always divide women and men into invitees and invitees. Roles can change. Of course, not every man will go home to the first woman, even if she pays for him. It’s just that it’s not so popular in our culture yet.

The basic life on the planet is air, water and food. So the role of food in human relationships is hard to downplay. Sharing breakfast together, cooking dinner, trying something new, shopping for groceries, going to a restaurant, eating the last piece of pizza – all of this causes us certain emotions. And all these actions form connections with the people around us.



When I go for coffee with a friend, I don’t think about who will pay. I will probably pay today and she will pay tomorrow. I wouldn't mind sharing a croissant with her. I can come to the office with a cup of coffee for my colleague. It won't be difficult. drink chocolate at work.

When I visit my mother, she sets the table and doesn’t ask me to buy food. If a neighbor comes to see me, I'll treat her to fragrant tea and fresh muffins.

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So why do some men see splitting a meal as signing a contract? After all, the enjoyment of food is the basis of any, not only intimate relationships. Restaurant meals are not a relationship fee. Of course, with whom the meal is not shared. But no one is invited home either, so dinner - great start. But it should not be burdened by the burden of any debt or obligation on the part of the one who is treated. Otherwise, what's the treat?