My parents really liked my husband, at first I was happy, but it turned out not as I expected. Bashny.Net

At this difficult time for everyone, mutual help and support are more important than ever. Of course, it is worth looking at relatives and friends who may have some specific problems. And if you have the resources to do that, get them out. But most importantly, do not forget about those who we all owe from birth. And How to help parents Everyone decides for themselves. Some people need financial support, others need communication. And, of course, it should not be like a stick. All on a voluntary basis.



Sometimes, of course, there may be problems and misunderstandings. But most often, an ordinary conversation can put everything in its place. It is a pity that lately we are all in a hurry somewhere and we have neither time nor energy left for a banal conversation.

How to help my parents I've been a little upset by my parents lately. Speaking openly, I am very unhappy. And although mom and dad we live together all my life, now I have a lot of complaints about them, which I do not know how, but I definitely have to say. Otherwise, it could at least ruin my marriage. Or even destroy it.

It all started with the fact that Borya, my husband, while still my boyfriend, very responsibly cared for me. He would come to my house, pick me up, and escort me to the exact time that my father or mother had talked to me. In this way, he often communicated with my parents and, later, they even became friends. Isn't that beautiful? Yeah, I thought so at first. My boyfriend, and then my fiancé and husband, had a close relationship with mom and dad, what could have gone wrong?



But then things changed a little. I don’t know why, but first my father and then my mother imagined that my Borya was not just some son-in-law, but their personal donkey, on whom you can take any burden. He'll be happy. He does not know how to help his parents. It all started with the usual, trivial requests to help with the housework. With such an agreement, like, in the morning and afternoon - work, and in the evening - barbecue. And that was normal. Until at some point it turned into just unpaid work, even ploughing. But Borya is silent, does not resist.

There were also small things, like going to the city for building materials, buying and bringing them. It's a cottage repair, it's not a couple of times to help. Quite systematic tasks. Which, by the way, the husband had to do during his working hours, and he was paid for gasoline once in three. At best. And, as I just found out, Dad asked his son-in-law to leave it "between them." Just so I don't know.



I found out. Not immediately, but I did. And I almost got stunned by that insolence. In fact, there's been a lot more cases like this than I've been able to tell you, and it's kind of hard to put it all out at once. But the point, I think you get it. What do you call this attitude towards your daughter’s husband?

The thing is, my Borya is very reliable in itself. If you promise something, you will. That's the nature, I chose him for a reason. And his parents were, shall we say, not from a very prosperous family. Yeah, they drank. So he wants to find his family in my parents. And he's doing it for nothing. Because my mom and dad have become rather mercantile people with age.



I told Boris that his aspirations were of course noble. Especially since these are my parents and I should be sympathetic to such help. But in everything you need to know the measure. Especially when it comes to helping parents. The husband replied, Yes, he agrees, because sometimes he just feels very tired. But what to do if you have already agreed on a specific time, and let people down at the last minute, well, there is no way? It is foolish to cancel what you have promised.

In fact, it was a story going around in circles. When Borya did something, on the same day, Mom and Dad made him promise something else over and over again. And at some point, he couldn't stand it. Not him, but his body. One day my parents got a lot of wood. And who was supposed to do it? Of course, son-in-law. They're old. And it doesn't matter that half the village would agree to take on the job for a conditional bottle. My son-in-law is state-owned. The result is a herniated spine. You can live, but it's not fun.



And then it turned out that this was not the first such injury in my husband. There were some sprains, dislocations, almost fractures. And about the general fatigue of the body, I am generally silent. Anyway, I'm sick of this. Now I have to talk to my parents.

You'll get me wrong, too. I'm not a brawler in my life, I wasn't raised like that. I don’t even know how to saw, and I didn’t have such a need to saw my husband. He's good, only naive. And how can I influence the people closest to me if I can’t yell at the dog properly? Borya said that he does not want to scandalize, because he also considers himself guilty in the current situation. Anyway, you get it. He's not gonna make any sense.



But something has to be decided. Otherwise, my thirty-two-year-old husband will play the box ahead of time. And we also have kids, by the way. Mom and Dad need to learn the right lesson for themselves, it turns out, they also need to be educated. Otherwise, I will drag the disabled spouse on me. But the parental dacha will be wow by then!