When I decided to tell my husband about the pregnancy, he was in shock, we had a long and unpleasant conversation at home. Bashny.Net

Any decent man wants to know, of course. pregnant This time, or again, it's the usual mood swings, coupled with poor health. Yes, this happens when women have a broken hormonal background and nothing can be done about it. And if this is the problem, you need to support your partner and make her life a little easier. And if it's really about pregnancy, well. You need to be able to take responsibility and show maximum care for the future mother. This is, of course, when it comes to adequate men.



In modern realities, and in the past, too, what a sin to hide, there were cases when some representatives of the masculine family could not withstand all the hopes placed on them, simply disappeared behind the horizon. Everyone's probably heard of that. What should women do in such situations? Some terminated pregnancy, gave birth to children in incomplete families, gave them to orphanages. Sad but true. And all this happened because of the usual cowardice of individuals, whole rivers of tears and sadness and sadness.

Maxim often liked to tell how our relationship will be in the future, after the birth of a child. He will finally have every reason to ask the boss for a raise. Then we'll move into a bigger apartment, our one, though larger, room will be small for three. Maybe you need to think about a new car, family, with all the comforts for the child. He fantasized so much about it that you don’t want to, and believed in it every day more and more.

But I was adamant. I didn’t want kids and I had a couple of reasons for that. First, medical. My innate thinness and narrow hips did not bode well for me in the process of childbirth. Even the doctor noticed this during the examination. I have never been 100% sure of my wife. Maxim is not a mean man, but he took his words very seriously. He has one thing today and another tomorrow. I have never liked that kind of character even in women, let alone in men. He was very good at inventing himself.



So when I finally found out I was pregnant, I felt ambivalent. On the one hand, yes. A child is always a cause for joy. No matter what his parents think, it's not his fault. But, of course, if you look purely from the side of me as a person, what to think about, of course, was. So I didn't immediately tell my husband about the news. The female intuition probably just didn't let me do it.

After a week or more, we went with Maxim for a walk around the city. Just go shopping and get some fresh air. In one of the big moles, I decided. We were walking past the crib, I stopped near it and confessed: I am expecting a baby. I am a very prosaic person, so I reported it in a calm tone and did not expect any violent reaction in response. Although there was one such idea in my head, but it does not matter. Maxim looked at me with his eyes wide open, froze for a moment, and in a really firm, even gravel voice replied that we needed to talk about it at home.



Within half an hour we were on our doorstep. Before that, talking only in short abstract phrases. Finally, as I got dressed and tuned in, I heard from my husband what no woman would want to hear, and even in my position. He has another one. Yes, a well-known situation when a spouse finds a woman on the side, with the only difference that he loves Vicu. And they've had it for three months.

To my reasonable question about my husband’s past words about having a child, he replied that these were not plans for the future, but only dreams about him. In fact, he noticed a long time ago that there was a cold between us. Plus, my ill-fated hips and the statistics are that the vast majority of first marriages inevitably end in divorce. Maxim, of course, will help me financially and morally, but this is his maximum and he can not offer more. Well, even though the apartment is mine, for sure he would have plucked it, he would have had at least a hint of such an opportunity.

Then, after months of depression and debriefing between me and my ex, I started thinking about my future. Apparently, now I will have to live in the status of a well-known “divorce with a trailer”. Are divorced women with children also referred to online? I thought about it for a long time and considered all the options. I can’t quit my job, I’ll leave the baby with my parents for the first time, then I’ll try to solve something with the kindergarten. I'll ask my friends for baby clothes and a stroller. I'll save money. But I'm not even going to give up. Break through. Shall we break through?



But my story has a happy ending, otherwise I wouldn't be able to share it. Sometime in the seventh month, when my tummy was already quite visible, I once again went for a consultation. The new doctor, it turns out. And it turned out to be my old friend, classmate Ilya, for whom I “dried up” as a young girl. Life turned out in such a way that we did not have the opportunity to have any relationships in the past. I don't think anything would have come of it. You know how old that was.

Seeing me, Ilya was very surprised, and then we even went for a walk, get some fresh air. As it turned out, he was unmarried, no children either. After school, he went to medical school and for a long time was looking for himself. Don’t waste time and energy on your youth and friends. He worked on textbooks, and therefore became a pretty good promising specialist. We met once, then several more, in a relaxed atmosphere. I told him my whole story, although I think it's quite trivial and he's probably heard hundreds of them before.



I was hoping for his understanding and some hope, albeit a ghostly one. But unfortunately, no. He couldn't reciprocate me. The thing is, he turned out to be, shall we say, a completely different orientation. That's the case. But even that's not all. He said it was impossible for him to find anyone in the city. He tried for a while and then completely gave up. No, no, there are so many lonely people. But he liked my company and he admitted that he loves children very much.

At the moment, the three of us live together. Me, Ilya and my son, Igor. We live in the apartment of my “civil husband” and, let me tell you frankly, we feel very good. I rent my apartment, work and raise a child. Ilya helps us, and in general behaves like a very good husband and father. We sleep together in separate rooms. The budget is also divided by agreement, everyone is satisfied. Would I describe my family as defective or fake? Never. And what could be the reason for that?



Each of us has a role to play. Which I think we're doing pretty well. My son loves me and his stepfather. And Ilya had an incentive to go home instead of thinking about what she couldn't get. It seems to me that this step has relieved us both of our personal anguish. And gave hope for the future. Physical intimacy means nothing unless there is something personal behind it. I think so, and I believe so. I love my family with all my heart and will not change this life for any other, ever.