My sister began to complain more and more about her husband, and recently she gave him an ultimatum, then my mother and I came to her for a serious conversation. Bashny.Net

Broken. cupboard A constant reminder that a man in the house should not only bring money, but also do other things. Help in raising a child, fix what is broken. For a normal family life, this is important. In a man you want to see someone who knows firsthand about working with hands, is familiar with what women never even think about. Strong master in his house.



Otherwise, it turns out that they marry not because of feelings, but only in the context of ATM options. “Honey, do what you want. If only we had enough money. And I'll just be a cleaner and a cook. Does that sound like a normal family life? No, not really. A few hundred years ago, someone would have called it normal. But you can't run away from progress. Progress in relationships is even more so.

My sister Valentina got married about three years ago, and despite being older than her, I still go without a ring. I mean, I live with a man, but I still haven't signed. I agree with him that the wedding is nothing more than a stamp in the passport. And if we're going to do that, I'm willing to wait. But here Valya, honestly, surprises me. And now I'll try to explain why.

First, let's be honest. She's already married, so from a wife's perspective, she's made some commitments. It’s not just the right to manage your family budget. Her husband, Dima, I have known for several years. Good guy, no bad habits, working. But the thing is, I think he's sometimes too compliant. I went to their house recently to see how things were going. So Valya seriously expressed that she was tired of doing household duties for three.



Peels Yes, she's on maternity leave now. And while the husband earns money, she spends the third year with the child. But now she is not satisfied with this state of affairs. Dima, coming from work in the evening, is obliged to wash dishes, wash her belongings, play with the child. Of course, the duties of the father include a variety of activities. But give your spouse an ultimatum? While he's really trying to make a living for them, including my sister? I think it's too much.

Secondly, Valentine has always been what is called a claim. To everyone: to my parents, to me, even friends have always owed her. That's the kind of person she is. But, as practice shows, it is in this nature that men fall in love. I have no idea why. There are people who say that they are not happy. Then such a conversation can be successfully discussed and come to any result. But here's the passive aggression... I know exactly what it is and I would never tolerate it myself.

And thirdly, these are my personal views on life. I am sure that the house should be in order, and what is broken, the man will repair. It is. But! If a man does not have the time or sufficient skills, but has the money to pay for it. Then let him pay. In Europe, specialists are paid luxurious salaries to come, fix the pipe or wiring. What if a man has “golden hands” and will climb everywhere? You can't do everything. It is possible to remain without light at all. And for what?



Otherwise, yes. If you have a child, please take the time. There's a weekend. And half an hour a day for his own son is always in reserve. A woman, even when on maternity leave, should not be a slave. In addition, the father’s upbringing makes a boy a man. My sister and I completely agree on this. But everything else?

My mother agrees with me, because she doesn’t need a divorced daughter. My mother knows the character of her younger daughter as well as I do. I talked to her about it, and she thought we should go to Valais alone while her wife was away. There, you see, on the one hand, my mother on the other, we can express everything we think about this whole situation. Vali had boyfriends before Dima. But despite all their efforts, the union broke up every time. Good luck with his husband, but his patience is not forever.



Yes, you may ask, what do I really care? I mean, my sister, even my younger sister. Maybe an adult will figure it out on their own? That's right. But there's one caveat. The fact is that 9 years ago, our mother also felt it necessary to stop being silent about what was boiling in her soul. Back then, our dad was working in production, we were all younger, and the situation in the family was not the easiest. Well, Mom thought Dad should do more for the family.

There is a thought, so it is only in practice. So she decided that the old doors on the kitchen shelves should be changed. Like, and they creak for a long time, and some color is not so already. Who should be doing this kind of thing? Of course, the father of the family. So my mom started to slow him down. Do it and do it. We live in a barn. Dad, I remember it well, I didn't want to pay attention to my mom's night concerts at first either. Not before, and for so many years of life just got used to it.



But at some point, the situation seems to have become critical. He got ready and went shopping the same day. At least that was the deal. I just called tonight, said I couldn't do it anymore. In the morning I came as a stranger to my mother. Talked to us, his children. Of course, he treated me more like a senior. He explained that he now had another woman. He can't be with his mom anymore.

I apologized a lot. Again, not in front of his wife. He left without fixing the door. Then there was a divorce, but I don't remember it well. Because to me personally, he meant nothing. The parents divorced when Dad came in all pale and wet eyes. Now he has his own family, I can't blame him for anything. He helped us for a while, but when my sister and I got older, he stopped doing it.



My mom still doesn’t want to talk about it. He only hides his eyes when someone at least accidentally starts talking about his father. What she wanted, she got. Apparently, Valya has already forgotten about that story and is trying to repeat it. But personally, I am sure that such experiments will not end well. And if we were not quite adults then, but at least understood something, then the sister has a chance to leave her little son without a father when he can not even remember him. I don't want her attitude to lead to family tragedy. You have to learn from the mistakes of others and try not to make your own, right?