Mom invited us to celebrate the New Year together, but I'm not going, I don't even want to look at her.

I'm ashamed to admit it, but I envy my mother and her property. At first I rebuked myself for it and tried to get rid of the obsessive thoughts about inheritance. But I don't care about starvation anymore, and I'm beginning to think that my mother has completely forgotten that she has me and grandchildren. While we're barely making ends meet, she's finishing repairs in her apartment and doing paperwork for another. A few days ago, a happy woman called to invite us to celebrate the New Year with her family. But I'll probably turn it down - I can't look her in the eye.



Don’t judge me harshly, my mom is a very specific person. I always thought she was just trying to make me independent. And now I'm starting to think she doesn't care about me at all. And this indifference has already crossed all boundaries.

The only thing I can’t regret is my happy childhood. When my dad was alive, he was the one who took me to kindergarten, school, went to meetings, sat with me when I was sick. My mom always worked more, sometimes even two jobs. And my dad was a mechanic and worked part-time - he could not find a stable job. But that didn't bother us much, because my dad did most of the housework: he did laundry, cooking and my homework. Even though he drank a lot, to me he was still the best father in the world.



Unsplash really, my mom didn't think so. They fought hard, and saucers flew. So at the age of 16, I started doing everything by myself not to touch them. She studied well, solved her own problems and at this age found her first job as a promoter. I handed out leaflets for pennies, at that time many of my peers were doing this. But there was pocket money, I never asked my parents for anything. I always thought they had their own problems and we didn’t live very well.

His liver was weak, and soon alcoholism began to finish him off. I had a fight with him at that time, I couldn’t see what he had become. My mom spent most of her time with my dad and didn’t work. I had already graduated from university, worked in a profession and met my future husband. When Dad died, we tried to support Mom as much as we could. It took her several years to get interested in her life again.



Then there was a full-scale war, and my mother went abroad, to a friend in Germany. She had nothing to lose, she was cut off at work. So I took it easy, even though I was already with two children and barely managed them on maternity leave. My husband’s work was not enough for all of us, the lion’s share of the salary was rent. No matter how long I worked, I could not buy an apartment. And then the children, the decree, at least pay the loan for the washing machine before spring.

My mother was not a mistake and quickly got off social payments. A friend helped her find a job as a nurse. And for some reason, I thought my mom didn't forget us. Two years later, she had a third grandson and finally decided to return. She said she was very bored and wanted to spend more time with her family, me and my sons. And I was wondering, maybe she saved us some money, too? Because living in a rented two-bedroom with three children became simply impossible, my husband has problems at work, I will not get out of the decrees.



Unsplash is here. I did. We live in a house that is hard to call. She shook her head and said nothing. A few weeks later, the house in which he and his father lived was taken over. And cosmetic repair, and the kitchen is new. The fridge is bursting with food, although I don't know when she gets to eat it all? My husband and children only have meat on weekends, and she has sausages from Germany, all kinds of cheeses. He'll call and not share.

And proud of it. She says that this is how her old Germans told her: “You can’t let children down!” We must learn to live ourselves.”



How I wanted to say that she did not spend too much time on me as a child, unlike her father. And she didn't have to pay for my studies because I was on the budget. At first, I thought it was good, so independent. But now I look at my peers and I want to cry. Their parents have no heart in their grandchildren, they help as much as they can. And all his life, children were given the opportunity to get on their feet, invested. I didn't ask for anything. I have nothing from my parents.

Recently I learned that, in addition to repairs, my mother forked out a one-room apartment to rent it to someone. My husband and I were not talking, of course. Now my mom goes to friends and brags about how well her life is arranged. And constantly repeats that this is how her father bequeathed her: to live for pleasure, to fulfill all dreams and even to find a new love. I support this desire of my father and do not consider my mother old - she is only 50. But I don't think he meant to leave his daughter and grandchildren to fend for themselves.



The New Year is coming soon, so my mother called me and began to paint what a cool New Year’s table we will make: and red caviar, and turkey baked. I don’t have money for this table. I have not seen caviar for three years on the New Year, prices after the beginning of the war are such that at the entrance to the supermarket, the heart goes to the heels. What kind of caviar can there be?!

We're not going to Mom's for New Year's. Let him sit down and enjoy the wealth earned in Europe. Although I will not be able to put on the table delicacies, but I will meet the New Year with my real family. The husband from work will bring rations, there will definitely be something tasty, holidays. We have dealt with him before, we will survive. I don't even want to talk to my mom. Am I the only one who doesn't care about other families?