219
I once met a woman for whom I decided to leave my family, but it was a terrible mistake.
Tell me. feminineIt just doesn't make sense. People generally understand what it is. But, at the same time, femininity and elegance are not available to all representatives of the fair sex. Well, that's what happens. Maybe the upbringing was different, maybe the environment. You can't figure it out. But is it a bad thing if all the men you know admire your strong and impenetrable character?
Of course, in the family, this also plays a role. After all, if the spouse is not a fool and understands everything himself, then children can sometimes demand maternal affection. To make them feel sorry, they slap them. You have to make compromises. Either pretend that you do not turn away from all these veal tendernesses, or... Or get out of it somehow. The only question is, how exactly?
It is no secret that rash decisions and actions are made not only by women, but also by men. In this case, it was I who did the act. I regret it, but I do not see how the situation could be corrected. But you can not return the lost and it remains only to bite your elbows, and to talk about it with friends does not even turn your tongue. They will not understand and will only be judged for weakness.
I separated from my wife on my own initiative. It just so happened that I found another woman. I'm not the first, I'm not the last. But then I thought it was the most logical decision, and my heart said the same thing. It wasn't a long romance to weigh all the pros and cons. But she seemed to be my man from the first minutes of our conversation.
When I was picking up Maxim from school, I met the mother of one of his classmates. Tall, slim woman, with smart eyes and mind-blowing hair. We suddenly started talking and something pulled me towards her. Immediately, without delay. Then we met again and again. She was divorced. With a good job like mine. Just like that, did not agree with the ex-husband characters. But how different she was from Lera!
My wife, as it were, is from another test. An orphan who spent all her youth without too much affection or a share of understanding. She and I started dating early and I knew I had a hard nut. When I gave her something, she wasn't happy about it, like other girls do. She looked in the eye and thanked me dryly.
Even when I handed her the ring, I could see that she had only slightly changed her face and immediately gave a positive response. Others would have thought we were playing roles, but it was real. I thought family life would make it softer, warmer, but it wasn't. With the birth of Maxim, she sometimes played hormones, but even here everything was somehow unusual. She wanted a little affection, or she could start fighting over nothing. And for the most part, it was the second option.
I'm used to it, and I kind of like her attitude to the world. But what I didn't understand was why Lera was almost indifferent to our only son. No, she cooked, packed the baby for school, all right. But I didn't kiss him in the morning, I didn't tell him how much I loved him. And there was a case when in the second grade one of his classmates gave him a bruise. This is how she dealt with the abuser, despite my protests.
They almost ended up with that boy's dad. That's according to the teacher. And it seems to me that she would have caught him in the face if she had the chance. But Lera was always like that, nothing surprising in her reaction, in general, it was not. And the woman I met was different.
When I told Lera I was leaving the family, she didn't even cry. I just took a little break, asked me a couple of times if I was crazy and if I knew exactly what I was doing. After receiving my positive response, she just packed my things and wished me a good trip. No clarification of the relationship, no shouting or, especially, requests to stay. Even that didn't hurt her. At that moment, I was kind of happy. So you made the right choice.
But it turns out I did the biggest stupid thing in my life. I've heard before that a new man will always be second to a woman, after her children. But I ended up on the third. The other one had a cat. All I had to do was bring home groceries, buy toys and stuff for the house. You can’t raise your voice in front of your daughter under any circumstances. And the fact that she wasn't happy with me, I can't tell you.
But I didn't give up. I was trying to please my new woman. He gave her gifts, compliments and took her to different places. But the three of us went almost everywhere. She, her daughter, and somewhere nearby, me. As a security guard and wallet, like that. My new friend had a lot of impulsivity. If she liked something, she could talk about it for hours. Our conversation was like a conversation between two friends.
But if anything was spoiling her mood, I was her personal punching bag. Mostly. My daughter was still practicing on me. Honestly, in six months, I'm sure I'd be humiliated by the cat!
Then I reconsidered my outlook on life. I remember how in the most critical moments of our marriage, Lera never judged me. Silently did something that would decorate even a man. For example, quite quickly after giving birth, she found a part-time job so as not to "sit on her neck." Or exactly how she negotiated with the buyers of our old apartment we were moving from. I would have accepted their offer, but she managed to convince them and settle on our price. He did not demand any reward for himself. That was great.
So it's not hard to guess that at some point I decided to talk to Leroy about our past. Once again, after spending time with my mother, I asked her for a few minutes. Remember what we had in the past, how she lived, and so on. It must have been a long time, not just for me, but for her. The answer was expected, on the one hand, but not so much.
Lera called me a rag, a parody of a man and a fake. It turned out that she herself throughout the marriage tormented me, but only out of respect did not say a word. Because family was more important. But my “tantrums” and “hysterics” made her grit her teeth more. But now it's over. There can be no change at all. Her life with her son now seems perfect.
That’s how I learned a lot about myself, who I really am and what a mistake I made in my life. Lera has disappeared from my life forever and it's my fault. Not even God can change that.
Of course, in the family, this also plays a role. After all, if the spouse is not a fool and understands everything himself, then children can sometimes demand maternal affection. To make them feel sorry, they slap them. You have to make compromises. Either pretend that you do not turn away from all these veal tendernesses, or... Or get out of it somehow. The only question is, how exactly?
It is no secret that rash decisions and actions are made not only by women, but also by men. In this case, it was I who did the act. I regret it, but I do not see how the situation could be corrected. But you can not return the lost and it remains only to bite your elbows, and to talk about it with friends does not even turn your tongue. They will not understand and will only be judged for weakness.
I separated from my wife on my own initiative. It just so happened that I found another woman. I'm not the first, I'm not the last. But then I thought it was the most logical decision, and my heart said the same thing. It wasn't a long romance to weigh all the pros and cons. But she seemed to be my man from the first minutes of our conversation.
When I was picking up Maxim from school, I met the mother of one of his classmates. Tall, slim woman, with smart eyes and mind-blowing hair. We suddenly started talking and something pulled me towards her. Immediately, without delay. Then we met again and again. She was divorced. With a good job like mine. Just like that, did not agree with the ex-husband characters. But how different she was from Lera!
My wife, as it were, is from another test. An orphan who spent all her youth without too much affection or a share of understanding. She and I started dating early and I knew I had a hard nut. When I gave her something, she wasn't happy about it, like other girls do. She looked in the eye and thanked me dryly.
Even when I handed her the ring, I could see that she had only slightly changed her face and immediately gave a positive response. Others would have thought we were playing roles, but it was real. I thought family life would make it softer, warmer, but it wasn't. With the birth of Maxim, she sometimes played hormones, but even here everything was somehow unusual. She wanted a little affection, or she could start fighting over nothing. And for the most part, it was the second option.
I'm used to it, and I kind of like her attitude to the world. But what I didn't understand was why Lera was almost indifferent to our only son. No, she cooked, packed the baby for school, all right. But I didn't kiss him in the morning, I didn't tell him how much I loved him. And there was a case when in the second grade one of his classmates gave him a bruise. This is how she dealt with the abuser, despite my protests.
They almost ended up with that boy's dad. That's according to the teacher. And it seems to me that she would have caught him in the face if she had the chance. But Lera was always like that, nothing surprising in her reaction, in general, it was not. And the woman I met was different.
When I told Lera I was leaving the family, she didn't even cry. I just took a little break, asked me a couple of times if I was crazy and if I knew exactly what I was doing. After receiving my positive response, she just packed my things and wished me a good trip. No clarification of the relationship, no shouting or, especially, requests to stay. Even that didn't hurt her. At that moment, I was kind of happy. So you made the right choice.
But it turns out I did the biggest stupid thing in my life. I've heard before that a new man will always be second to a woman, after her children. But I ended up on the third. The other one had a cat. All I had to do was bring home groceries, buy toys and stuff for the house. You can’t raise your voice in front of your daughter under any circumstances. And the fact that she wasn't happy with me, I can't tell you.
But I didn't give up. I was trying to please my new woman. He gave her gifts, compliments and took her to different places. But the three of us went almost everywhere. She, her daughter, and somewhere nearby, me. As a security guard and wallet, like that. My new friend had a lot of impulsivity. If she liked something, she could talk about it for hours. Our conversation was like a conversation between two friends.
But if anything was spoiling her mood, I was her personal punching bag. Mostly. My daughter was still practicing on me. Honestly, in six months, I'm sure I'd be humiliated by the cat!
Then I reconsidered my outlook on life. I remember how in the most critical moments of our marriage, Lera never judged me. Silently did something that would decorate even a man. For example, quite quickly after giving birth, she found a part-time job so as not to "sit on her neck." Or exactly how she negotiated with the buyers of our old apartment we were moving from. I would have accepted their offer, but she managed to convince them and settle on our price. He did not demand any reward for himself. That was great.
So it's not hard to guess that at some point I decided to talk to Leroy about our past. Once again, after spending time with my mother, I asked her for a few minutes. Remember what we had in the past, how she lived, and so on. It must have been a long time, not just for me, but for her. The answer was expected, on the one hand, but not so much.
Lera called me a rag, a parody of a man and a fake. It turned out that she herself throughout the marriage tormented me, but only out of respect did not say a word. Because family was more important. But my “tantrums” and “hysterics” made her grit her teeth more. But now it's over. There can be no change at all. Her life with her son now seems perfect.
That’s how I learned a lot about myself, who I really am and what a mistake I made in my life. Lera has disappeared from my life forever and it's my fault. Not even God can change that.
I finally raised the right amount of money to buy my daughter an apartment, I flew home on wings of joy.
My oldest daughter insists that I sell my apartment and split the money, but I'm not excited about the idea.