18
I used to believe that my husband's children from our first marriage would not interfere with our happiness, but recently everything has changed.
Many women are ready to live housewives Dedicate yourself completely to this activity. Funding and work are on the shoulders of the spouse. A woman is engaged in the maintenance of a family hearth and the upbringing of children. It seems to be fair, especially if the roles in the marriage are clearly agreed.
But real life is full of surprises. Sometimes the rules of the game change on the go. Views on living together may change or the past will make itself felt. Or a new person will appear on the horizon, which suddenly begins to pull one of the spouses. How do you behave in this case? Where do you get the strength to fight the circumstances and defend your happy family life?
At home with my husband and children, I had a big fight with my parents. They urged me, and then weepingly asked me not to marry a man with children. But of course I made my own decision and did everything my own way. And I'll tell you what happened.
Michael got divorced before we met. Of course, his two children stayed with his mother, and Misha only paid alimony and occasionally spent time with his son and daughter. As far as I know, the initiator of the break was the ex-wife Misha. She wasn't impressed, she was always complaining about the lack of money and all that. It’s no wonder that when you have kids, you don’t have to go out.
Then I came, and Misha began to live again. Those are his words, if anything. Not mine. We dated for about a year. I was 29 years old at the time and he was older. For a long time, as in his youth, there was no point. And even though I told my mom and dad that I'd seen his kids, maybe once or twice, they were totally against it.
Going forward, the wedding has taken place. Thank goodness my parents didn’t make a scene and just accepted it. So in that moment, I was really happy. After several months of family life, I began to nauseate literally, not figuratively. The reason was trivial and unexpected: pregnancy.
Misha, you can see immediately that he was experienced, helped me as much as he could. I was always happy with flowers and little surprises. So the pregnancy itself went easily. After the birth of Nikita’s son, my husband did not stop helping me. After work, he was constantly busy with household chores. Sometimes I was even envious: he is older and does everything on instinct. I don’t know how to do it either, young mother.
But don’t think about it, I don’t think that a man owes everything to a woman, and I can only lie down and watch my child grow. I also tried to help as much as I could. So our little family grew stronger every day, in every sense. Until one day, Misha's ex called us.
The fact was that my husband began to take off from work more often for obvious reasons. He paid alimony, but it was not enough for his ex. I understand two kids. But you wanted to change your life. And where did that lead you? In short, she called to say that she was going to another country. My sister.
There, she will have the opportunity to earn some money for children "whose dad is not coping with his duties even after a divorce." Yes, you got it right, this is a quote. Their children will now live with us. Because there's nobody else to leave them on. The decision has already been made and no one is going to change it. Tickets are actually on hand.
Misha reassured me that he knew his ex well. She never knew how to work or wanted to. So this whole conversation is nothing more than a show. She'll be back in six months at most. So there's nothing to worry about. Think, make porridge not for one child, but for three. I don’t even notice any changes.
This news came as a real shock to me. I can't handle my baby here alone. They want to add two more. They are already going to school, adults. We haven’t learned how to walk yet. What porridge?!
But my husband didn’t react too much to my words. Said I'd get involved and miss them when their mom came back. Here's what I was sure was that this would definitely not happen. I have a nephew and I don’t even know how old he is. To my own shame, of course. But what can I do if I don't care about other people's children? I have one, and I'm happy about it.
The first day the kids came to our house, my knees were shaking. I didn't know what we could talk to them about. What is interesting for young people at this age? As a result, for the first half of the night, I was like a clown servant. All offered them food, watching TV, even told me what my taste in music and how I sang in the school ensemble.
And then when I realized that they didn’t care about the woman their father lives with, and that I would be a witch to them anyway, I calmed down. And just left them alone. I missed dinner and the kids went hungry for two hours. I was afraid to confess.
Within a week, things only got worse. A month later, I realized I couldn’t do it again. She took Nikita, the things she could take away, and went to her parents. They certainly accepted me. But the judgmental look is sometimes more eloquent than any conversation. Misha called me tonight. He was furious. I told him that even if he and I were no longer together, it would be better for me than living under the same roof. My psyche will certainly be grateful.
He didn't expect that, so he turned the tone down and asked me to come back. He promised that he would take care of the children himself. But I know he'll either be demoted or kicked out of work. We have not yet invented decrees for men.
Being a housewife is fine. When there's a forager who can keep you out of everything. But to serve two more children that I do not know and do not want to know? I don’t know what they say behind my back. And I have to cook, clean, wash. What scare? Or will their mother come and pay me for my work? She took alimony, she was not ashamed.
Now I'm sitting there thinking what a fool I was to get into this. But what to do now, I can't think of. How do you get back to your husband, but without his unbearable children? Even the thought of boarding school. Is this normal or am I just such a bad person? I'm just afraid of myself. That's what stress does.
But real life is full of surprises. Sometimes the rules of the game change on the go. Views on living together may change or the past will make itself felt. Or a new person will appear on the horizon, which suddenly begins to pull one of the spouses. How do you behave in this case? Where do you get the strength to fight the circumstances and defend your happy family life?
At home with my husband and children, I had a big fight with my parents. They urged me, and then weepingly asked me not to marry a man with children. But of course I made my own decision and did everything my own way. And I'll tell you what happened.
Michael got divorced before we met. Of course, his two children stayed with his mother, and Misha only paid alimony and occasionally spent time with his son and daughter. As far as I know, the initiator of the break was the ex-wife Misha. She wasn't impressed, she was always complaining about the lack of money and all that. It’s no wonder that when you have kids, you don’t have to go out.
Then I came, and Misha began to live again. Those are his words, if anything. Not mine. We dated for about a year. I was 29 years old at the time and he was older. For a long time, as in his youth, there was no point. And even though I told my mom and dad that I'd seen his kids, maybe once or twice, they were totally against it.
Going forward, the wedding has taken place. Thank goodness my parents didn’t make a scene and just accepted it. So in that moment, I was really happy. After several months of family life, I began to nauseate literally, not figuratively. The reason was trivial and unexpected: pregnancy.
Misha, you can see immediately that he was experienced, helped me as much as he could. I was always happy with flowers and little surprises. So the pregnancy itself went easily. After the birth of Nikita’s son, my husband did not stop helping me. After work, he was constantly busy with household chores. Sometimes I was even envious: he is older and does everything on instinct. I don’t know how to do it either, young mother.
But don’t think about it, I don’t think that a man owes everything to a woman, and I can only lie down and watch my child grow. I also tried to help as much as I could. So our little family grew stronger every day, in every sense. Until one day, Misha's ex called us.
The fact was that my husband began to take off from work more often for obvious reasons. He paid alimony, but it was not enough for his ex. I understand two kids. But you wanted to change your life. And where did that lead you? In short, she called to say that she was going to another country. My sister.
There, she will have the opportunity to earn some money for children "whose dad is not coping with his duties even after a divorce." Yes, you got it right, this is a quote. Their children will now live with us. Because there's nobody else to leave them on. The decision has already been made and no one is going to change it. Tickets are actually on hand.
Misha reassured me that he knew his ex well. She never knew how to work or wanted to. So this whole conversation is nothing more than a show. She'll be back in six months at most. So there's nothing to worry about. Think, make porridge not for one child, but for three. I don’t even notice any changes.
This news came as a real shock to me. I can't handle my baby here alone. They want to add two more. They are already going to school, adults. We haven’t learned how to walk yet. What porridge?!
But my husband didn’t react too much to my words. Said I'd get involved and miss them when their mom came back. Here's what I was sure was that this would definitely not happen. I have a nephew and I don’t even know how old he is. To my own shame, of course. But what can I do if I don't care about other people's children? I have one, and I'm happy about it.
The first day the kids came to our house, my knees were shaking. I didn't know what we could talk to them about. What is interesting for young people at this age? As a result, for the first half of the night, I was like a clown servant. All offered them food, watching TV, even told me what my taste in music and how I sang in the school ensemble.
And then when I realized that they didn’t care about the woman their father lives with, and that I would be a witch to them anyway, I calmed down. And just left them alone. I missed dinner and the kids went hungry for two hours. I was afraid to confess.
Within a week, things only got worse. A month later, I realized I couldn’t do it again. She took Nikita, the things she could take away, and went to her parents. They certainly accepted me. But the judgmental look is sometimes more eloquent than any conversation. Misha called me tonight. He was furious. I told him that even if he and I were no longer together, it would be better for me than living under the same roof. My psyche will certainly be grateful.
He didn't expect that, so he turned the tone down and asked me to come back. He promised that he would take care of the children himself. But I know he'll either be demoted or kicked out of work. We have not yet invented decrees for men.
Being a housewife is fine. When there's a forager who can keep you out of everything. But to serve two more children that I do not know and do not want to know? I don’t know what they say behind my back. And I have to cook, clean, wash. What scare? Or will their mother come and pay me for my work? She took alimony, she was not ashamed.
Now I'm sitting there thinking what a fool I was to get into this. But what to do now, I can't think of. How do you get back to your husband, but without his unbearable children? Even the thought of boarding school. Is this normal or am I just such a bad person? I'm just afraid of myself. That's what stress does.
Aunt Galya from Odessa taught me to cook a branded caviar from blue, starting preparations while the season is in full swing.
A test that will show how well you understand the names of colors, sometimes you just need intuition.