While cleaning, I found some strange folder when I opened it, I realized I shouldn't have seen these papers. Bashny.Net

We all have relatives close and far away. Most of them appear just after the wedding. Matchmakers, brother-in-law, sister-in-law. It would seem that yesterday you did not know this person, and today - and already kind of relatives. This raises a lot of moral questions. Whether to pay the loan For such a new relative, if such a need arises? Or is it not necessary?



Peels After all, not all of us are ready for such victims. It doesn't matter why. Perhaps this is a principled life position or lack of funds for a young family. How do you feel about the fact that for the second half this can be a very serious issue, and for you - so, nothing special? How do you explain to them the reason for their actions?

When you first get married at 25, you have a lot to learn. Because of my attitude to higher education, I could say that I had no personal life at all, while my peers were already walking with guys. It makes me feel a bit guilty, but on the other hand, I wouldn’t have what I have now.



This is what my parents taught me: first, then everything else. Dad often jokes that I have a boyish character. No one forced me to be like that. On the contrary, all the attention went to my brother. But he, you see, had a different opinion. He left home before me and went abroad to work. Well, maybe it makes him more comfortable.

After school, I went to university on a budget basis. I studied a lot, so there were no problems with studying. There have been some troubles in social life, but in my opinion it is better to have one reliable friend than a hundred acquaintances. It was the same with the guys. My Vitya is my second. Is that good? Let's see.



Peels Unpleasant Surprise But some problems are already showing themselves. That's what I wanted to tell you. The last one: I just found a folder of documents that I obviously shouldn't have found. There were different papers, but, among other things, I saw the statement for the loan. It was paid off recently. But that loan was paid off throughout the year. My husband and I lived together as a family.

It's unpleasant to be cheated. This, of course, is not a betrayal. But because of such omissions, even the strongest relationships collapse. And besides, I am a man of such character that no one could get away with it. We live together, we share a common budget. I don’t think that’s “nothing you can forget.” Like Vitya told me.



After a family conversation, a small quarrel and reconciliation turned out to be this. My mother-in-law is sick. They have a middle income, but what do you want from pensioners? Vitya took on the responsibility of his mother to help. He took a big loan and secretly repaid it as best he could. All of his relatives knew about it, except, as you can see, me.

According to her husband, she did not see the loan as important. Said it was just money and he had to get it. That's it. And the fact that I'm kind of his wife... That's another conversation. I don’t have to worry about these little things. After all, he fulfilled his part of the financing of our budget as it should.

So it turned out that I was also guilty, that I was crawling through his things. It is very elegant of him to make me complain. When I told my mother what happened, she supported me. Said the husband shouldn't have any secrets from his wife. But she added, “Maybe we just don’t understand the rules of life together.” Marriage is lifelong and requires understanding on both sides.



I think it was me who was deceived and just did not tell what was really going on. And it is not only Vitya’s fault, but also his entire family. They knew what was going on. Or maybe I wouldn't be able to provide my own money for my family, or maybe I'd get sick too. What then?

In short, it turns out that I am like a disenfranchised creature and I can not be told about some serious things. But then why do I have equal responsibilities? If the rights aren't the same? Let him support me, and I'll just sit at home and watch TV. I will not be interested in any loans. The main thing is that the money is in sufficient quantity. Where to get them, let the man think.



But no, I also work, develop, make plans. I make the same contribution with my husband and do not go out at night with friends. Then why do you treat me like this? I don't understand. Is this a historical attitude toward women, or did I just marry the wrong person? I wonder what you think, again, I have few friends. Ordinary, human opinion would be interesting to me. Thanks.