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What actions should not be forgiven, even close people
“Let go and forgive me. It will get easier, says the sister. "Why are you sulking?" asks the husband, who literally 40 minutes ago sulked at you and did not apologize. And we forgive, try to show empathy towards the offender, stand in his place, try to forget. However, many psychologists say that forgive It is not necessary or even harmful.
There is a list of things that you can never forgive your offender! “Under no circumstances, dear. Or it will be, and you are alone, I heard from a friend who has been working in family psychoanalysis for 10 years. Today's edition. "Site" He asks you to understand what actions don't forgive Even the closest and dearest.
Attitude towards close people
I also propose to learn how to manage the family budget, so that relations do not destroy, and quarrels avoid, and live a comfortable life. Is that possible?
Of course, everything is known in comparison, with life experience, youthful maximalism “rounds up”, smooths out. Some things we begin to look through our fingers, and some we cannot forgive. Whether that's true is hard to answer. But I can tell you for sure: no one has the right to tell you what to forget and what not to forget. You will not become less loving or whole because you cannot forgive or do not want to see someone.
Perhaps you are even stronger and more courageous because you have managed to survive the anger and keep moving on. No one has the right to tell you what you should forget and what you should not: not a therapist, not a mother, a priest, a minister, a teacher, not a teacher. relationshipist.
Is it worth forgiving close people of the above things or not? I will be glad to read your opinion on this in the comments!
There is a list of things that you can never forgive your offender! “Under no circumstances, dear. Or it will be, and you are alone, I heard from a friend who has been working in family psychoanalysis for 10 years. Today's edition. "Site" He asks you to understand what actions don't forgive Even the closest and dearest.
Attitude towards close people
- Shooting
You can't forgive that. No one has the right to raise a hand on you. Husband, boyfriend, wife, brother, sister, father - nobody! Of course, there are people who forgive such cruelty. attitudeBut such relationships are no longer considered healthy and are called “codependent” relationships, in which there is no couple in love, but there is an abuser and his victim.
- Humiliation.
Do you often hear insults against yourself? What feelings, then, can we talk about? Loving people will not call a loved one, offend and find out the relationship in public.
- Treason
Everything that happens in a relationship is always the responsibility of two people. And it's very important for a couple to understand that. Betrayal is a clear sign of lack of love. If a person in a relationship cheated on his partner, it only indicates that he never loved or respected his partner. It is worth remembering that after the betrayal, the relationship will never again become as trusting and tender as before, because behind it will be the third party with whom the change was made.
- Betrayal
It always hurts when we are betrayed by those we trust. The betrayal of a partner, the “set-up” by a loved one who either threw at a difficult moment, or corny betrayed, is a betrayal. If you want to live in peace, the man who betrayed once, forgiving.
- Constant lies
Anyone who has lied once will do so again. Not everyone will be able to close their eyes to lies and hurt, try to see something good in a person, trust him. Some people justify lying by saying it is for the good of others. Much worse is the one who lies pathologically and then claims that everything you have heard or seen has been misunderstood (gaslighting). They have to flee from such people; they are incorrigible.
- Bullying
If a person mocks you in the environment of other people, tells everyone about your personal experiences in public, rudely humiliates you in the presence of other people, and becomes a good friend alone with you, do not justify him, such people cannot be forgiven. They use you to establish themselves in society. Try not to communicate with such people and, if possible, fight back.
- When you're being used
“Sit with my child!” a friend asks for the twentieth time. “Pay for me at the restaurant!” says the guy, and the colleagues at work throw you their work. These are all indicators of being used. Do not indulge other people’s desires – awaken self-respect inside yourself and stop contacting such people!
I also propose to learn how to manage the family budget, so that relations do not destroy, and quarrels avoid, and live a comfortable life. Is that possible?
Of course, everything is known in comparison, with life experience, youthful maximalism “rounds up”, smooths out. Some things we begin to look through our fingers, and some we cannot forgive. Whether that's true is hard to answer. But I can tell you for sure: no one has the right to tell you what to forget and what not to forget. You will not become less loving or whole because you cannot forgive or do not want to see someone.
Perhaps you are even stronger and more courageous because you have managed to survive the anger and keep moving on. No one has the right to tell you what you should forget and what you should not: not a therapist, not a mother, a priest, a minister, a teacher, not a teacher. relationshipist.
Is it worth forgiving close people of the above things or not? I will be glad to read your opinion on this in the comments!