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For a tired woman, children are not joyful, but burdensome.
Recently, a sad mother wrote us a letter. It was full of fatigue and sadness. She regretted giving birth to her two sons and sought consolation. Unfortunately, the commentators were not the most sympathetic people. Many of them condemned our heroine and said that she should be happy, not sad. Is that fair? We cannot control our thoughts. However, we can try to analyze our feelings and emotions. Today we will try to help those women who regret becoming mothers.
Begin with the fact that in any case you can not ignore your emotions and feelings. Commentators’ phrases like “you shouldn’t think that way” and “you don’t have the right to feel that way” are meaningless. They are only cruel and can harm the human psyche.
We don’t have an internal button to turn off certain emotions and feelings. Moreover, bad emotions do not exist. All our emotions are neither good nor bad. They are just indicators of something. In this case, the sad mother's emotions tell her she's very tired. Maybe you should rethink your priorities and change something.
The second extremely important thing that every tired mother should remember: you are not alone in your feelings. It was held once. An anonymous survey of Israeli mothers. There were several points in the questionnaire regarding motherhood. One of the questions was, "Do you regret the birth of your children?"
You have no idea how many women said yes. A lot of moms say they love their kids. However, they have not once or twice thought about what would have happened to their fate, if they had ever They decided not to have children.. Many people regret having had several babies, not one. These, by the way, are very common thoughts in which there is nothing seditious.
No one disputes the fact that children are wonderful and give their parents a huge amount of warmth and positive emotions. However, Only a stupid and inexperienced person will say that being a parent is easy and trouble-free.. Being a parent is very hard. Even in the most favorable conditions, when there is a lot of money and loving people around. But not everyone raises children in such paradise conditions.
You can't blame a woman for regretting having children. Every mother loves her children, but this love cannot be complete. Eliminate all fatigue and other “joys” of motherhood. What makes everyone think that if you love your children, that love automatically makes raising them a fun activity? To say that is hypocritical.
What advice can I give to women who regret having a child? First of all, they They have the right to feel what they feel.. Secondly, they should accept this idea and stop fighting it. Condemnation of society causes only a deep sense of guilt and helps nothing.
Peels Mom should think carefully about what she is missing in life now. Maybe taking care of yourself or free time? In that case, It is important to talk to the father of the children and delegate some of the responsibilities. Baby care. Unfortunately, not everyone can afford this. In this case, you should use a simple rule: change what you can change, and accept what you can’t.
Peels Try to think that this situation will not always be. Children grow up very quickly, and in a couple of years you will have much more time for yourself. It is important to try to make your life as comfortable and pleasant as possible, even in difficult circumstances. For example, please yourself with some small pleasures. Yes, they will not change the situation globally. You will have more reasons to smile now.
Take care of your baby, but remember that a healthy dose of selfishness will not hurt anyone. You are important not only for the child, but also for yourself. A sad mother has little good to give herself and the world at large. And under no circumstances do not accuse yourself of anything. You can do this!
Begin with the fact that in any case you can not ignore your emotions and feelings. Commentators’ phrases like “you shouldn’t think that way” and “you don’t have the right to feel that way” are meaningless. They are only cruel and can harm the human psyche.
We don’t have an internal button to turn off certain emotions and feelings. Moreover, bad emotions do not exist. All our emotions are neither good nor bad. They are just indicators of something. In this case, the sad mother's emotions tell her she's very tired. Maybe you should rethink your priorities and change something.
The second extremely important thing that every tired mother should remember: you are not alone in your feelings. It was held once. An anonymous survey of Israeli mothers. There were several points in the questionnaire regarding motherhood. One of the questions was, "Do you regret the birth of your children?"
You have no idea how many women said yes. A lot of moms say they love their kids. However, they have not once or twice thought about what would have happened to their fate, if they had ever They decided not to have children.. Many people regret having had several babies, not one. These, by the way, are very common thoughts in which there is nothing seditious.
No one disputes the fact that children are wonderful and give their parents a huge amount of warmth and positive emotions. However, Only a stupid and inexperienced person will say that being a parent is easy and trouble-free.. Being a parent is very hard. Even in the most favorable conditions, when there is a lot of money and loving people around. But not everyone raises children in such paradise conditions.
You can't blame a woman for regretting having children. Every mother loves her children, but this love cannot be complete. Eliminate all fatigue and other “joys” of motherhood. What makes everyone think that if you love your children, that love automatically makes raising them a fun activity? To say that is hypocritical.
What advice can I give to women who regret having a child? First of all, they They have the right to feel what they feel.. Secondly, they should accept this idea and stop fighting it. Condemnation of society causes only a deep sense of guilt and helps nothing.
Peels Mom should think carefully about what she is missing in life now. Maybe taking care of yourself or free time? In that case, It is important to talk to the father of the children and delegate some of the responsibilities. Baby care. Unfortunately, not everyone can afford this. In this case, you should use a simple rule: change what you can change, and accept what you can’t.
Peels Try to think that this situation will not always be. Children grow up very quickly, and in a couple of years you will have much more time for yourself. It is important to try to make your life as comfortable and pleasant as possible, even in difficult circumstances. For example, please yourself with some small pleasures. Yes, they will not change the situation globally. You will have more reasons to smile now.
Take care of your baby, but remember that a healthy dose of selfishness will not hurt anyone. You are important not only for the child, but also for yourself. A sad mother has little good to give herself and the world at large. And under no circumstances do not accuse yourself of anything. You can do this!
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