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Why women do not want to have children
The Russian authorities have developed a number of measures to force women to give birth early. Officials do not like the fact that Russian women are increasingly delaying motherhood until the age of 26 or later. Experts have already called this policy a failure. For comparison: in most European countries, the average age of first births is 27-29 years.
After all, until recently, the authorities agitated not to give birth early, and now they say: do not give birth late. Again, women do not please the government! In the modern world, girls prefer to first get an education, work actively, strengthen their financial position and financial independence, before devoting half their lives to children.
In addition, a woman is often not sure of the reliability of her man and can not count on him, so he is in no hurry with the birth of a child. The contradictory situation with the attitude of society to motherhood deserves special consideration.
What happens when a woman finally gets pregnant? First, a brief moment of congratulations follows, and then society, which actively imposed motherhood on a woman, deprives her of support. The employer is looking for ways to fire a woman bypassing the laws. In the future, finding a new job for a mother with a small child will be extremely difficult.
That's okay. Pregnant women And women in labor are constantly victims of such a phenomenon as punitive gynecology. Boorishness, moral sadism and outright bullying accompany a woman throughout her pregnancy. And those who are lucky enough to avoid it, after birth, cease to feel like a person.
A pregnant woman is no longer Tanya, Oksana or Victoria. She's now "mommy" - that's how doctors treat her now. Women are no longer a person but a function. Not the subject, but the object.
DepositPhotos
Society devalues maternityShe believes that the woman “should”, and she does nothing and just sits at home. A mother with a child is subjected to social isolation: she and the baby are not welcome anywhere, breastfeeding is shocking, you will not go to a restaurant with a baby, in public places the child interferes with everything. It seems like everyone dreams of a ghetto for mothers and children.
The only way to somehow cope with social isolation is the Internet, where you can share your innermost experiences and find like-minded people, support and sympathy. Editorial "Site" I found a community where women can speak up anonymously about their pain and understand that they're not alone. Postings tagged with the hashtag #passionate motherhood overwhelm their abyss of despair and powerlessness.
DepositPhotos “Treating mothers almost like scum,” says one member of the community. I rejoice when people see me and my child at least once a month, and not a screaming maggot and allegedly inadequate mother. I want to cry out loud from the inhuman attitude. My daughter is always very calm in public places, but there are still people we annoy. We infuriate those who are reluctant to give up a place in transport. We get angry when we go shopping with a wheelchair.
One 40-year-old man was outraged, they say, “nothing with a wheelchair to go shopping.” I drove carefully and never touched him. This is how we treat mothers in society.
DepositPhotos
Another woman complains about the popular belief that the decree is almost a resort: “It’s all the fault of the global substitution of concepts. "Maternity leave“Parent Leave” and “Parent Leave” – What is this? This is forced access to indefinite, round-the-clock, unpaid work without days off and shift workers, without sick leave, with great responsibility. The whole horror of the decree comes, rather, not from the child, but from the husband. I got a standard Russian man who, up to five years old, does not understand what a child is and what they do with him.
He never got up at night to the child, never rocked, never changed the diaper, never walked with the baby himself. I hear only the standard excuses: “I work”, “I am tired”, “What was your decree for nothing?” In doing so, I must clean, feed, and delight him with enthusiasm! "What are you like a log?" he tells me. He doesn't care that I'm tired, that the stitch after cesarean hurts. After all, I am a woman, which means that a positive attitude, home comfort, sexuality is in my nature!
DepositPhotos
Society constantly demands that women give birth to children on an industrial scale, and then rewards them only with contempt, disenfranchisement and hostility.
Modern people are extremely unfriendly towards children and mothers. In their opinion, women should actively reproduce, but so that their “vile unbred children” do not scream, run, cry. So that mothers do not “dump their milkings” in public places (no one cares what the child wants to eat here and now).
We do not blame fathers for self-removal from the duties of care and upbringing of the child, it is believed that this is a purely female prerogative. Rarely is a man convicted of not paying enough attention to a child. As a result, motherhood It turns out to be hell for women.
“Immediately after my discharge from the hospital, my husband declared that there would be nothing to do around the house. Giving birth, cooking, cleaning the apartment should be a woman. He does not earn enough money for his family, his parents help him. I spent the best years of my life on this scoundrel, and I have to give it to my child. I want to get away from this planet.
DepositPhotos
It hurts to read stories like this: “It’s almost mine.” perfect husband And the father of our two daughters was disappointing, one mom wrote. My older daughter and I have diarrhea and vomiting, the younger one has a high fever. I had to sleep in the nursery between their beds on the floor. She asked her husband to be on the pickup and watch the children, as she could not move away from the basin. And my gentleman turned away and fell asleep. The children suffered all night!
The next day, she asked her husband to leave work and stay with us, as an ambulance might be needed. But he snuck off to work and came in the evening drunk. I didn't even have time to call him and ask him to buy meds, because he wouldn't have guessed. In response to my outrage, he was offended and fell asleep. As loving and caregiver Can you do that? I already feel guilty for letting myself get sick.”
7829307
DepositPhotos
The fate of women raising children without a husband is even more bleak. To single mothers we still have a lot of negative attitude, at best with pity. Is that right? mother - It's not family? Don’t they deserve the respect of women who have taken full responsibility for raising and maintaining a child?
People don’t want to hear that motherhood can be a burden. Stereotypes that a woman who became a mother falls from the sky with privilege, respect, kindness of others, give rise to a distorted vision of the real situation. Of course, women themselves suffer from this, falling into despair and depression, which also affects babies.
We are all adults, and it is high time we stopped believing that children and motherhood - full of tenderness and pink heels. It’s time to stop calling unborn women “hollow flower” and mothers “swine” and “ovula”.
That's honest motherhood, no embellishment. And then we're surprised that women are less willing to give birth. Why do you think people are so ambivalent about mothers and children? At what age is it best to have children? Be sure to share your opinion in the comments.
After all, until recently, the authorities agitated not to give birth early, and now they say: do not give birth late. Again, women do not please the government! In the modern world, girls prefer to first get an education, work actively, strengthen their financial position and financial independence, before devoting half their lives to children.
In addition, a woman is often not sure of the reliability of her man and can not count on him, so he is in no hurry with the birth of a child. The contradictory situation with the attitude of society to motherhood deserves special consideration.
What happens when a woman finally gets pregnant? First, a brief moment of congratulations follows, and then society, which actively imposed motherhood on a woman, deprives her of support. The employer is looking for ways to fire a woman bypassing the laws. In the future, finding a new job for a mother with a small child will be extremely difficult.
That's okay. Pregnant women And women in labor are constantly victims of such a phenomenon as punitive gynecology. Boorishness, moral sadism and outright bullying accompany a woman throughout her pregnancy. And those who are lucky enough to avoid it, after birth, cease to feel like a person.
A pregnant woman is no longer Tanya, Oksana or Victoria. She's now "mommy" - that's how doctors treat her now. Women are no longer a person but a function. Not the subject, but the object.
DepositPhotos
Society devalues maternityShe believes that the woman “should”, and she does nothing and just sits at home. A mother with a child is subjected to social isolation: she and the baby are not welcome anywhere, breastfeeding is shocking, you will not go to a restaurant with a baby, in public places the child interferes with everything. It seems like everyone dreams of a ghetto for mothers and children.
The only way to somehow cope with social isolation is the Internet, where you can share your innermost experiences and find like-minded people, support and sympathy. Editorial "Site" I found a community where women can speak up anonymously about their pain and understand that they're not alone. Postings tagged with the hashtag #passionate motherhood overwhelm their abyss of despair and powerlessness.
DepositPhotos “Treating mothers almost like scum,” says one member of the community. I rejoice when people see me and my child at least once a month, and not a screaming maggot and allegedly inadequate mother. I want to cry out loud from the inhuman attitude. My daughter is always very calm in public places, but there are still people we annoy. We infuriate those who are reluctant to give up a place in transport. We get angry when we go shopping with a wheelchair.
One 40-year-old man was outraged, they say, “nothing with a wheelchair to go shopping.” I drove carefully and never touched him. This is how we treat mothers in society.
DepositPhotos
Another woman complains about the popular belief that the decree is almost a resort: “It’s all the fault of the global substitution of concepts. "Maternity leave“Parent Leave” and “Parent Leave” – What is this? This is forced access to indefinite, round-the-clock, unpaid work without days off and shift workers, without sick leave, with great responsibility. The whole horror of the decree comes, rather, not from the child, but from the husband. I got a standard Russian man who, up to five years old, does not understand what a child is and what they do with him.
He never got up at night to the child, never rocked, never changed the diaper, never walked with the baby himself. I hear only the standard excuses: “I work”, “I am tired”, “What was your decree for nothing?” In doing so, I must clean, feed, and delight him with enthusiasm! "What are you like a log?" he tells me. He doesn't care that I'm tired, that the stitch after cesarean hurts. After all, I am a woman, which means that a positive attitude, home comfort, sexuality is in my nature!
DepositPhotos
Society constantly demands that women give birth to children on an industrial scale, and then rewards them only with contempt, disenfranchisement and hostility.
Modern people are extremely unfriendly towards children and mothers. In their opinion, women should actively reproduce, but so that their “vile unbred children” do not scream, run, cry. So that mothers do not “dump their milkings” in public places (no one cares what the child wants to eat here and now).
We do not blame fathers for self-removal from the duties of care and upbringing of the child, it is believed that this is a purely female prerogative. Rarely is a man convicted of not paying enough attention to a child. As a result, motherhood It turns out to be hell for women.
“Immediately after my discharge from the hospital, my husband declared that there would be nothing to do around the house. Giving birth, cooking, cleaning the apartment should be a woman. He does not earn enough money for his family, his parents help him. I spent the best years of my life on this scoundrel, and I have to give it to my child. I want to get away from this planet.
DepositPhotos
It hurts to read stories like this: “It’s almost mine.” perfect husband And the father of our two daughters was disappointing, one mom wrote. My older daughter and I have diarrhea and vomiting, the younger one has a high fever. I had to sleep in the nursery between their beds on the floor. She asked her husband to be on the pickup and watch the children, as she could not move away from the basin. And my gentleman turned away and fell asleep. The children suffered all night!
The next day, she asked her husband to leave work and stay with us, as an ambulance might be needed. But he snuck off to work and came in the evening drunk. I didn't even have time to call him and ask him to buy meds, because he wouldn't have guessed. In response to my outrage, he was offended and fell asleep. As loving and caregiver Can you do that? I already feel guilty for letting myself get sick.”
7829307
DepositPhotos
The fate of women raising children without a husband is even more bleak. To single mothers we still have a lot of negative attitude, at best with pity. Is that right? mother - It's not family? Don’t they deserve the respect of women who have taken full responsibility for raising and maintaining a child?
People don’t want to hear that motherhood can be a burden. Stereotypes that a woman who became a mother falls from the sky with privilege, respect, kindness of others, give rise to a distorted vision of the real situation. Of course, women themselves suffer from this, falling into despair and depression, which also affects babies.
We are all adults, and it is high time we stopped believing that children and motherhood - full of tenderness and pink heels. It’s time to stop calling unborn women “hollow flower” and mothers “swine” and “ovula”.
That's honest motherhood, no embellishment. And then we're surprised that women are less willing to give birth. Why do you think people are so ambivalent about mothers and children? At what age is it best to have children? Be sure to share your opinion in the comments.
