Swallowing tears, the woman thanked God that she had no children by this man, because then it would be impossible to leave. Bashny.Net

The victim of the abuser does not always realize that she is the victim. Abusives are good at manipulating people and know the weaknesses of their victims. The abusive may be a relative, friend, colleague or spouse. Why, when a person is treated badly, does nothing about it? One of my friends has been married for 6 years. She has a young son, and her husband is an intelligent and polite man. In public, and at home, he abuses his wife. When I asked my friend why she wouldn’t leave him, she burst into tears: “What about my son, he must have a dad.”

Today I want to share an inspiring story about a woman who finds herself in a similar situation. There's a lot to think about. Love is blind when you love a person, you close your eyes to his antics, even if you suffer yourself.



Victim of the abuser Anya prepped at the mirror, nervously straightened her dress, checked her makeup, and in her mind a running line: “Clothes ironed, soup cooked, pie in the oven” – so she once met her boyfriend, wanting to please him in everything. Victor was always a charming young man, beautifully cared for, gave flowers. Now he has become her husband, still talks affectionately to her, brings a bouquet of beautiful flowers every day after work. Perfect family, isn't it?

The girl ran around the rooms, checking if everything was clean, corrected the blanket on the bed, hastily checked if there was any dust on the windowsill. All day she cleaned, cooked, ran shopping and brought comfort to the house. The doorbell rang and Victor came back from work. He never opened the door with a key, he always expected his wife to welcome him. When Anya hugged him, Victor liked to inhale the aroma of soft hair: “Hi, my love, this is for you,” put a bouquet of scarlet roses in his hands.



“Thank you, dear,” Anya said timidly and smiled. He knew his wife loved carnations, but Victor never gave them to her. Pretending to be happy, Anya learned a long time ago. She never blamed her husband for anything.

Victor masterfully examined the perfectly cleaned kitchen, sat down at the table and began to taste. He ate like a restaurant critic: "Something new," fished a small piece of meatball out of soup. Victor suddenly frowned, bit another piece, ate bread: “Anechka, did you dilute salt with soup?” Anya turned red, tears splashed from her eyes, and she automatically covered her face with her hands because she knew what was waiting for her. Victor hated salted food.

When he didn’t like something, he turned into a monster. After his slap Anya did not leave the house for weeks. The first slap, then the second... The husband became brutal, Anya tried to cry quietly so as not to irritate him even more: "I'm sorry," she sobbed.



Not the perfect family, “Have you forgotten how to cook?” I don't understand why you can't just be a good wife. You sit at home on everything ready, I do everything for you, and you're just a bitch. If you don’t like something, pick up your rags and get out of here, Victor continued to kick his whining wife harder and harder. Finally, he slammed the bathroom door.

Anya cried in pain and tried to remember when things went wrong. When did a handsome, handsome guy, smart and polite, turn into a tyrant? He said, “You’d have a short haircut.” You look amazing in this dress. Don’t go out with your friends late. Why do you need to work, I will take care of everything, phrases that have been used for many years. They sounded easy and unobtrusive, gradually taking away her freedom of choice, gradually turning her into a servant.



They stopped receiving guests at their house because Victor was tired of socializing. For a while Anya met with friends in a cafe, and then suddenly realized that for two months as if no one called. The closest person, sister Ani, persuaded her to leave her husband a year ago: “Wake up, while you have no children, you can leave him,” Anya, who really wanted to become a mother, was angry. Then she stopped talking to her sister.



Is that love? “He loves me,” she looked at herself in the mirror. Pale, full of tears. She tries so hard to be an exemplary wife. I am tired of correcting my flaws. Suddenly a ringing sounded in her head: “Bitch, get out of here,” and Anya felt anger. She never allowed herself to be angry because good wives don't behave like that. Now she finally understood the meaning of the phrase “it’s good that there are no children” – now she understood everything.

Victor awoke from a phone call: "Why are you skipping a couple, Petrovich?" his colleague spurred. Victor missed his lecture. He cried out, “Anya, you bastard, why didn’t you wake up?” The suit on the hanger is unprepared. He was rushing around the rooms, looking for his bastard, but did not see her passport, things, and in the hallway lay a note and her keys to the apartment. The note had one word: "Creature."



I want to believe that the girl’s life has improved. Although after such a relationship, the victim of the abuser for a long time can not recover. Unfortunately, such stories rarely have a happy ending. The victim never thinks soberly, he is not able to make decisions on his own. Always stopping something. The victim of the abuser constantly excuses the abuser: children, what people think, I have nowhere to live, I am over 40, no one will love me. And so on.

Healthy relationships are relationships in which there is mutual understanding, support, communication. It is a relationship where partners are equal and have personal boundaries. Noticing that something has gone wrong is like luck. It is important to enlist the support of loved ones. Go to a therapist to never end up in a toxic relationship again. Unfortunately, no one is safe from this.