«women's tears have a special composition" - wrote poet. "So deceptive women's tears" - says another. Try to replace these sentences a woman to a man - no poems fail. There will come a comic song. Nobody disputes the fact that a man can sometimes appear "a tear." But only women are allowed to cry on every occasion - it will not surprise anyone, although various tears and cause different emotions. A woman weeping over the touching moment in the movie, at the end of a good book, because he has lost his beloved brooch - and man, smiling indulgently at the sight of weeping because of these stupid things women - agree that familiar pattern. I do not think a few stories I could describe all the situations in which women can cry. But I try to advise you how to behave to the man next to the one whose tears are not indifferent to it.
The first story
On the TV show some quite uninteresting program. It seems the football game. Husband watches his progress very enthusiastically. But this does not mean that we should not listen to what I tell him ...
- Honey, do you think that it is better to give the Shred birthday? Maybe some disk? Or something of alcohol?
- Yes, baby, - vaguely responsible husband.
- Well, no, it's unthinkable. You're not listening to me absolutely. In the end, it's your friend.
- Of course, of course.
I'm offended silent. Well, we have not a honeymoon. Now I can not pay attention to me.
At this time in living flies son, grabs the book and trying to sneak into his room.
- Bunny! Come on Saturday at Pushkin Museum? They took quite a charming exhibition. Wooden sculpture. Germany. 18th century.
- Ma, no! On Saturday we have the boys basketball, and then we agreed to take a walk ...
I do not have time to insert a word, it disappears.
Yes. No one is to me the case. The son grows up - he has his own interests. My husband - my. Oh, God, how lonely I am! .. But no, these people do not wait for me to impose them their society. Well - I can buy myself a gift. And go to the exhibition alone. And anyway, I can do everything alone. All I can do. ... Oh, my God, why I'm so lonely and unhappy?! ..
I get up and almost run out into the bedroom. Tears flowing stream. Life is not a failure. I do not need a family. Nobody needs. Not nuzhnaaaaa ......
The door is ajar.
- Mom, what are you doing?
- Baby, what's wrong?
- You me ... me ... I did not ... Liu Liu ... bit ...
My boys sit down on the bed, starting to bother me, kissing and laughing. A few minutes with them and I laugh.
- Dad! And it was with my mother?
- Son, PMS.
- PMS? What is it?
- Alas, ever know ...
Reason number one: the hormones.
What to do: First, accept the fact that your girlfriend or wife in certain periods of time may react quite ordinary things too emotionally. To solve this problem, it will only have a little sympathy for her, and a little more than usual attention. Ignore these tears are not worth it, no matter how you assess this situation. Yes, sometimes a woman can create out of nothing the whole story, or even a tragedy, but if it occurs on the eve of her critical days, more often, all these absurd to say she did not, and her hormones. And it is very necessary to your understanding, to cope with this not very happy chemical reaction of the female body.
The history of the second
Perhaps, then, we have a young family. Although, if only because our son was not yet two years. My husband was already considered an inveterate bachelor, when whirled our relationship, and a "zelenke" like me, it is largely treated with indulgence. He never made me comments about the paucity of our menu, even though I was preparing only what she could: semolina, eggs, macaroni and cheese, and various combinations of all three dishes. If he wanted something else, he meekly went to a cafe or restaurant, from where I brought my favorite meatballs with mashed potatoes or chicken. But the trip to the restaurant - especially at the time - took time. So somehow, when for a whole week, my husband came home pretty late, I spent with him Friday "debriefing" after which he told me solemnly promised tomorrow to at least get some sleep, while there will be riding with his son from the hill. < br />
The morning did not bode bad. But when I went to the seventh hour festivities husband with the child on a serious cold, I could not find a place. Finally I rang the doorbell at the threshold stood sleepy son and husband in a good mood - from a friend, and because little "tipsy." Having laid hastily son in the bedroom, I began to utter her husband. He was good, so it is not particularly bothered me in detail to explain to him why I was upset, what horrors I imagined, how to call home, why his wife should be calm ... At one point I took a breath, and her husband made a tactical error - he decided to insert the word. And what "Nuuu, I'll see you again dissatisfied with something!» ...
Something is going round in my head hot. I swung and angrily shook his finger in the vicinity of his nose.
- That do not need - suddenly angry husband.
- Oh, this is not necessary? A call to his wife want? - I once again brazenly shook his finger.
- Do not swing your arms! Maybe you still hit me?
- Do not you dare!
In my youth I was one of those people who can not say, "I bet you manage not!" Or "Try just Jump!" I immediately had to be able to jump or. And now it triggered a reflex, I'm even more waved under the nose of her husband, and suddenly hit him in the eye by hand. ... It turned out that the bruises in the area of the eyes swell instantly. But I did not want that! .. Now he sees this "blue eyes" ... That would be a quarrel! ..
I whirled and rushed to the bed. So, what to do ... The answer came by itself: to cry. I sobbed out loud - had to recall several years of training in drama school. I lila bitter tears, saying: "You do not understand me, I'm so lonely", sometimes stumbling on someone else's text: "I have given you all the youth, and you, and you» ...
My husband was shocked my emotion. Gradually he began to recover, and even tried to reassure me: "I do not know that for you it is so important ..." I muffled sobs. But as soon as he tried to move away from me, the thought that he was about to see in the mirror made me weep even louder. Thirty minutes later, my husband asked me for forgiveness, then quieted as a man can do, and then dozed off ...
His black eye he saw only late at night, but to be angry with me, did not - only surprise grunted: "bruise me, and cried thou" ... I must admit, more than ever, and no one in our family had no bruises, no scratches related with quarrels - probably why the only "fighting" the wound today, we remember with humor.
Reason number two: the manipulation.
What to do: you have to know that women are very quickly realize that men feel uncomfortable when they cry. By nature, every woman a little artist. The more talented shed tears this part of the female nature - the man feel uncomfortable. Cry, you can not only forgiveness, but also a new thing, and unscheduled trip to the theater. You do not want to manipulate you - learn to differentiate between the sincere tears and tricks. Do not attach importance to tricks - it's okay not to support the woman when she really needs support - a way to lose spiritual contact with her. But to distinguish one from the other tears someday you will learn - this will help you experience.
I have always considered myself a good employee - no matter how to treat my employers. And when, in the early years of perestroika began a massive reduction in the number of jobs in science, I was quite sure that I was not in any way affect, the more that once made great efforts not to repeat the fate of many women in the industry, I accept the fact that they would draw that came up with the man, print something that men have written clumsy handwriting on paper, shoot at tracing what men drawn. But the head of my laboratory was able to surprise me: "Man, I can not cut, and besides you in my submission just another woman - almost pensioner - will not be the same we'll spoil her biography».
I nodded bravely. So she went to the bathroom to cry. I was choked with tears. Why me? It's not fair! Not many male employees who have the same number of scientific articles, is a lot to my age ... I have potential ... Yes, it's just ... just ... I was angry at myself, but do nothing with it could not - quietly choked with tears. It's a shame ...
I do not cut. Head of the department, the next day, he saw the note head of the laboratory of my candidacy, just laughed and said, "It's not serious." The funny thing is that by the evening of the sad day I already had two business proposals from other departments. And although it had to add my ambitions, I suddenly realized that, too, is not immune from the loss of a job, and will always remember it suddenly bulk feeling that you do not need that, "behind" can be just you and not someone another. It was a good life lesson. After a couple of years, I myself have changed my profession - and internally, and deliberately. As, however, and many of my generation.
Reason number three: genuine emotion.
What to do: women are more sincere in expressing their emotions, and often it facilitates the ability to go through some kind of situation. Upset - I cry, offended - cry. It is not necessary to be indifferent or to mock such tears. Although in most cases their problems a woman will be able to finally resolve on their own, some emotional support in such a situation it will add strength and feeling that she is not alone, for which it will be grateful to you.
I knew immediately that he did not like. You know, it happens - you see someone for the first time, but you feel that you will succeed. Or not. With the prospects of this man I did not have. I - fourth-year student, I hand over to a parallel examination department - and I understand that, "the teacher," I do not at first sight fascinated. Never mind that all the questions I have answered the ticket, as it should be.
- Well, let's say you have written off all right.
- But I'm not retired. (I cheated).
- Well, let's say, you will not be charged.
- Then what - "five" and "good-bye»?
- No why. Here you have an additional question ... (Sets).
- This question is not out of this course. If you want, I will remember the proportion, but in the ratio can be a mistake - not in principle.
- Do not you decide what to me is fundamentally!
- Well, then, ask any question on the subject, which I give you now. Or any other issue of this course. But please, in writing. Answer I will, too, in writing. (That such an order, if you "run up" to appeal - a fourth course is any student already knows).
- "Two" and goodbye.
- But I have a ticket all the answers are correct. Ask at least one additional question.
- Girl, do not hold me.
I run out of the audience. I am angry to the point that I want something to kick. To the extent that the tears gush from his eyes. Fellow classmates are trying to learn something, to support me - it's even more annoying. I run out and only there - not once - turns out to recover.
By the end of the day in my arms admission to retake the exam tomorrow, I pass the subject without problems to another "teach" the same department - it will be very surprised how I managed to make "a couple».
Reason number four: anger.
What to do: In contrast to men, women have temper tantrums can be combined well with tears. If you instinctively want to appease a woman at such moments - do not do it. It's like trying to hug a grizzly bear - too dangerous. Any rational action at this point is useless. Right or wrong - just wait for some time, let it cool down. Any joint discussion of the situation can be carried out only when the surge of emotion finally over.
We met a long time ago - I just moved to Russia and studied in the tenth grade. Together we ran to the theater, went on hikes, telling each other secrets about their first boy, night reading books from the forbidden list that someone of us was given "for a day", together growing up, saving each other from different situations, friends - closest friend I have ever had. That's strange - we never even had a fight. Do not have time.
I do not like watching the old photographs on which we are together. The books that I once gave it, are not on the shelves in the first row. Not because it is unpleasant to me. And because my eyes just run over with tears. These memories are bright, but I know that everything I have left - just these memories. It is not enough - not at all. But I wipe tears.
Reason number five: A Memoir.
What to do if you see how it goes through hours of pieces of cloth in the box, turns the pages album - and drops tears over them - do not think that you alone is not enough for her happiness that to someone she was better. These bad memories or beautiful it - if it is time to think about the past, she remembers the old emotions - and, who knows, maybe vsplaknet about what her life will be gone. You do not want to see those tears - what, to solve this problem is very simple. Talk to her more often to do something together - work, rest - do what makes you even closer to each other. Memory in her heart will remain forever, but at the time, tears can not miss - if you give her a very different emotion.
Woman tears - it is not contrary to each other, even though the story never know the weeping women. But the man's tears are not always happen "stingy." Not long ago I went to a concert in the Church of England. Imagine - a solemn ceremony, the authority and the divine voice of the singer. In the hall, men and women. And there were a few moments when the music was so beautiful that the audience was full of emotions - trust me, tears filled his eyes, not only women. And this beauty - a great reason for tears. But though life does not consist only of the happy moments, even in the life of each of us will be as many reasons to smile.