Please Don't Repeat This: The 15 Worst Sex Recommendations on the Internet Failure is assured!

There is always a time when everything that imagination can do has been tried in bed. It’s a shame, especially if you’ve had one sexual partner for years. And then you, of course, turn for interesting advice on the Internet or your favorite gloss. But you have no idea what a cruel joke this can play with you.





Of course, there are just excellent recommendations that will help you get divine pleasure. But there are those that at least can spoil the mood after their application in practice. Editorial "Site" I have prepared for you a selection of the 15 worst, in our opinion, sex boards.

Bad sex.

1. “Your sweat after sports contains androstenedione. Trust me, he'll get a woman off half a turn if she smells the smell. Of course, there are lovers of such aromas, but still the smell of sweat disgusts. If you do not want your soul mate to do it with your nose closed or completely refuse to have sex, it is better to make love after a shower or in it.
   
   
   
   
   
   
2. Put a doughnut on his penis and eat it slowly. If there is no donut, take a bagel or sausage ring. Joking. It's no doubt very interesting, but let's imagine this process. Not every doughnut he will climb, and not every man will agree to this.
   
   
3. “When in the rider’s position, grab him by the ears and pull them on yourself to help you rock.” Of course, why would your man have ears if he didn't listen to you anyway? Another thing is to gently stimulate the earlobes, but you should not pull.
   
   
   
   
   
   
4. "Very gently bite the skin on his scrotum." You can kiss, but it is better to refrain from a bite. After all, the consequences are very difficult to predict.
   
   
5. “Heat your boyfriend’s socks in the microwave and put them on him. That will make him want to burn.” And then heat his lunch in that microwave. Funny and sad at the same time.
   
   
   
   
   
   
6. “If you live in an apartment with an annoying and overly curious neighbor, download a horror movie and play it while you have sex. Hearing screams and groans, the neighbor will assume that this is happening in the cinema.” It is difficult to imagine how romantic the situation will be and how to relax in it. And the cries of the victims are slightly different from the voluptuous moans.
   
   
   
   
   
   
7. “Ask him to wrap your chest and waist in a cellophane film and touch your body through it – this muted sensation is incomparable.” First, you'll look more like a mummy than an object of erotic fantasy. And at the end of gentle touches, a man can laugh and leave you in this form. It's their thing. So keep the film for anti-cellulite procedures.
   
   
   
   
   
   
8. “When you are inside your partner, move your hips and write your name with your penis. If possible, do not forget about the dots and lines above the letters e and y.” In certain circles, this technique is called “the style of Cyril and Methodius”. Of course, funny, but it is unlikely that the width of her vagina will allow you to write with a sweeping pen.
   
   
9. “Put a piece of ice into her vagina. A sudden change in temperature will drive her crazy! She's got hot socks on you, and you're an ice cube. Just don't be surprised if she suddenly starts having problems with women's health.
   
   
   
   
   
   
10. “Strike her on the vagina to make her softer and more relaxed. It's like meat, isn't it? You need to hit it well, otherwise all the efforts will be wasted. And repeat it several times.” If you're not BDSM, don't do that. Just listen. Otherwise, she'll have no choice but to bite your scrotum.
    
    
11. 34% of guys say they would like a girl to surprise them with sudden oral sex as soon as they show up. He arrives tired, nervous and hungry after work, where he repeatedly relieved himself. It'll probably taste good! And keep in mind that there are 66% of men who do not have this desire.
    
    
    
    
    
    
12. “Women need to warm their feet in order to adjust them to a sexual pattern. Ask her to stretch out one leg and play with your penis. Cold feet on your instrument... Tear her feet gently with your own hands - she will appreciate more, and will be excited at the same time.
    
    
13. “Try what is called face intercourse. Contact your tongues, make a few large and small circles, and then make movements that resemble frictions. The alternative is not to try face intercourse. Not teenagers after all, it's time to somehow grow up.
    
    
    
    
    
    
14. “Dip your dick in a jar of Nutella pasta and then present it to your lady. As a reward, you will receive a blowjob full of enthusiasm and gratitude.” Women love chocolate and other sweets, but only doubt that in combination with penises. Yes, and the face, as well as the hair from sweet paste, it will not be easy for her to wash.
    
    
15. “In the process of intercourse, stick your finger into its anus and massage the prostate. A man will be in seventh heaven with happiness! Not every man will understand and appreciate this initiative. And in general, you should not climb men in the anus, especially if you are not a proctologist.
    
    
    
    
    
    

This is a purely subjective opinion of us. sexiness. Everyone has their own preferences and fantasies. The main thing is to always communicate on this topic with your sexual partner, and then you will never know the sad failure of your initiative, built on the advice of others.



Always think with your head, even if your brain is elsewhere. And don’t forget to share this fun collection with your friends on social networks.