How to keep a family together

Was Leo Tolstoy right when he said, “All happy families are alike, every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way?” Watching a few friends who managed to keep the family boat afloat by the age of 40, I noticed that all these couples adhere to certain rules of behavior.

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According to psychologists, marriage never falls apart on its own. The tension that arises in the family is most often to blame for the unwillingness to make amends at an early stage, bringing them to the boiling point.



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"Site" We invite you to familiarize yourself with the 13 rules of reasonable pofigism, allowing you to avoid conflicts and maintain family harmony. Perhaps it is their observance that makes all happy families so similar.



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Take a closer look at these rules, at first they may seem strange and even defeatist to you, but on sound reflection you will understand that a more effective way to keep the peace and peace. consent I can't find it.

Psychology of family life

1. Family is no place for discussion
   You can be pretty sure that Pelevin is a million times cooler than Sandra Brown, and raccoons are much funnier than kittens. But if your half passionately insists on the opposite, agree! After all, cats are the last reason to divide property, and frequent disputes about extraneous trifles erode the foundations of family life like acid. You want it? Screw raccoons! You're absolutely right, darling!
   
   
   
   
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2. I don't care if someone doesn't twist the cap on the toothpaste.
   Disputes are not only abstract, but also have something to do with reality. Where to go on vacation, what to buy for dinner, where to put the floor lamp. Oddly enough, but with strict observance of rule No. 1, the battles around serious issues also lose their intensity. When you’re not in the habit of arguing about anything, you’re much more willing to compromise.
   
   Especially since you actually have the same goals: normal rest, good food and live in a comfortable apartment. If the goals still turn out to be a little different, then imagine large scales, on one bowl of which the floor lamp standing in the “right” corner, and on the other - peace and peace in the family.
   
   Now make your choice. In happy families, I've seen that the first cup has piles of stuff on it, but they still can't pull the arrow to their side. It does not matter who again did not cover the jar with jam, and who did not put a tube of shampoo in place. The maximum you can say is, "Okay."
   
   
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3. Doing things you don't want to do? Smile!
   “Since I’ve been dragged to this birthday party, I’ll be sitting there gloomy and lonely – don’t do that to me another time.” As a result, you lose on three parameters at once. First of all, you're still doing what you didn't want to do. Second, you forbid yourself to enjoy the process and the result. Thirdly, instead of being grateful for you, they are irritated.
   
   Next time, she'll think hard before asking you to do something. You know how much it can improve your attitude.
   
   
   
   
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4. Don’t be ashamed to praise, even if you don’t.
   Did she make a delicious soup? Or is it something that doesn’t turn your tongue into soup? Look, why would you want to know about soup comparisons? Say, "You're so good." Say, "You know, not bad at all." You made her happy - she experienced a slight surge of sympathy for you. All it took was to move your lips. In general, the ability to insincerely but convincingly praise is an important skill in many professions. And here is such a great simulator for round-the-clock exercises!
   
   
   
   
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5. Ask less, help more often.
   The best thing about being alone is being able to control yourself, your actions, and your time. In the best couples, this freedom is preserved. Try to ask and demand as little as possible. Even requests to pass salt or serve a cup from the buffet is better to minimize. And in order not to become a victim of demanding pressure, try to anticipate her expected requests. This way you will feel not as an errand boy, but as a master of the situation.
   
   
   
   
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6. Never yell!
   Screaming is an emotional response to fear and aggression. It is not necessary to show their partner in any case. Otherwise, she'll feel them and copy them. We all know that strong relationships are built on respect, trust and good sex. Well, screaming definitely spoils the first and the second without making the third better.
   
   
   
   
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7. Be happy.
   No matter how bad your mood is, no matter what happens in your work, in your head, in your country and in your television, it should not apply to her. You can be gloomy, angry and angry, but it is very important to make it clear that you have a bad mood, but she has nothing to do with it, on the contrary - she is a ray of light, you can say, in the dark realm.
   
   When you say you're happy and you smile, one person you're cheating, even if only for a little while. Myself.
   
   We are so made that our words and facial expressions not only reflect our feelings, but also partly control them. And to be guaranteed happiness at least one second a day is something, you can live with it.
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8. Do not neglect rituals, even if they seem meaningless.
   Valentine on February 14, mimosa on March 8, request hand and heart on the knee. Yes, of course, it is stupid, meaningless and not respected by educated modern people. Maybe that’s why there are so many divorces among educated people today? The significance of ritual to our consciousness is enormous, however much we ignore this fact.
   
   
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9. Don't say behind her back what you wouldn't say in her eyes.
   We are often embarrassed to say good things about our wives and husbands. We are embarrassed: they may think that we boast that we are number two in the family duo, that we are too stupid and do not see the shortcomings of our spouses. Therefore, whining at husbands and nagging at wives is a common place in conversations. And this behavior is generally wrong. First, this grumbling can be conveyed to her by kind people. Second, by belittling her in other people’s eyes, you lower her in your own. And thirdly, your shares in the eyes of the interlocutors also fall: you turn into a loser who has contacted the wrong person and does not know how to establish his family life.
   
   Yeah, sure, serious. family problems You can talk to very close friends. But only with very close ones. And very carefully choosing terms.
   
   
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10. Be overly attentive to her in the presence of strangers.
    This is an addition to rule 9. No, it is not necessary to cover her with kisses and grab different parts of the body in public, but smiling at her, saying compliments, openly demonstrating your joy from her company is very correct behavior.
11. Speak!
    Yes, women have developed intuition, they understand the feelings and desires of the interlocutor better than men, even if he does not openly talk about them. But they understand it even better when they explain in detail what you want. They say women are mysterious. Wrong word! We're just an open suitcase, compared to a gloomy chest locked in a hundred locks! A chest that, after a year of sad silence, suddenly packs up and moves away from us, because for a long time they can not bear it all.
    
    
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12. Keep your ears and eyes away from her secrets.
    Privacy only works in both directions. If you’re sad that someone is grazing your cell phone and plucking your email, show exceptional respect for her mail, her phone, and her purse. I'm sorry, honey, I can't answer this message for you because I don't want to know your password. I'm sorry, this is unacceptable to me: this is your personal space. It won’t work right away, but these things are contagious.
    
    
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13. Lie and shut up.
    You didn't love anyone more than her. You've never felt so good with anyone. You've never experienced anything like that. She's the best thing that ever happened to you. Something like that. The more confident she is in your enthusiastic adoration, the more serene it will be to let you go fishing, on business trips and on corporate parties.
    
    

If you love astrology and believe that people are led by the stars, the horoscope of compatibility with the zodiac signs in love will be very useful for you. Find out about the 15 best zodiac couples that will make the perfect family.

Raising a child, parents dream that he grew up smart, organized, independent, purposeful. "Site" He will talk about the simple and logical principles of upbringing in Jewish families, which, unfortunately, have not yet taken root in our country.