How to Stop Resenting Your Ex Partner

Every person we meet teaches us something. But learning this lesson can sometimes be difficult.

One girl tried to draw conclusions from her relationship with her ex, wrote him a letter and posted it to the Internet.



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“I found out about your cheating before I went to work.” I was doing my job while my world was crumbling, working in a bar, serving drinks all night and smiling. I was doing what I had to do. I walked out of the bar that night with a broken heart, but a full wallet.

You made me feel worthless. I always felt like I was doing something wrong. It took me a long time to recover, but in the end I realized that I was not the problem. I'm a good man. I have learned that one cannot trust the self-esteem of another.”





You opened my eyes, showed me how one person can manipulate another. You were unhappy and dissatisfied with yourself, so you were looking for someone you could control. You found me. I'm relieved now.

I thought I needed you. I was totally dependent on you. I am working to become an independent and self-sufficient woman. I'm doing it. I am happy with myself, I cope with any problems. Thanks to you, I discovered the inner source of power. Thank you for that.

Last but not least, you showed me someone I don’t want to be with. You lacked attention, sensitivity and kindness. Now I know what I deserve.

Thanks to you, I knew what I wanted. You broke my heart, but you helped me find myself. I moved out, graduated from university, made friends, and met someone I love. No words are enough to give thanks.”





Psychologists say that women enter into destructive relationships quite often. They are mostly not accidental and are explained by internal causes.

Causes of unhealthy relationships

1. Low self-esteem
   She thinks she doesn’t deserve better. She suffers by taking a bad attitude for the norm, and sometimes she provokes it. When a person does not value himself, it becomes very difficult for others to appreciate him.
   
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2. Example of parents
   If a woman’s father was a tyrant or, conversely, a weakling, she can, as an adult, choose a man with the same pattern of behavior as a husband. Because it's the norm for her.
   
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3. Savior's syndrome
   There are women who think they have superhero qualities. They find some losers and try to change them, believing in the power of their influence. Or rough people, and begin to experience fate, believing that thanks to their magical charm they will become kind and quiet people
   
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4. Fear of loneliness
   There are women who are not self-sufficient. They are usually so afraid of being alone with themselves that they are next to any man, even if not the most suitable for them, if only with someone.
   
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5. Financial dependency
   If a woman lives off her husband, she gets used to it over time. When she wants to break up with him, she thinks about what will happen next, whether she can build a career and develop. And that stops her.
   
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6. Fear of leaving a child without a father
   Showing a child the wrong pattern of behavior in the family is not good. The child will be better if he is in a calm and positive atmosphere, and not among the quarrels and resentments of parents.
   
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It is also possible to support civilized relationshipTaking joint part in the upbringing of the child, and at the same time refusing marital relations with him.

And relationship was goodYou need to work not only directly on them, but also on yourself. On how to increase your self-esteem and develop femininity, read in our next articles. Follow the links.