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How to Stop Being Sad for No Reason
Marriage allows a man to move to a new stage of his own development, try on the responsible role of the head of the family, and then the parent. But the relationship with his wife is not always cloudless. And sometimes it turns out that a man with this woman does not connect anything at all, except household worries.
And today's edition. "Site" talk about How to Survive a Marriage Crisis And is it worth it if there are no vivid feelings for the second half at all? I wonder what professional psychologists think about this.
“Fourth year married, no children, I do not love my wife.” After the first 5 months of married life, he even left, but due to his own weakness, he returned because he could not stand loneliness. And I was afraid that I would be alone, complains 30-year-old Sergey.
“I did not have to talk about love before the wedding, but I was bribed by her caring attitude to me, non-conflict character, economics and the presence of a two-room apartment. Even when I applied, I doubted, but the desire to live apart from her parents and the hope that her touching attitude towards me would smooth out the lack of bright colors outweighed.
But I was wrong. Now I have to pay for my own prudence. Our family life is quiet and peaceful, we live in a family nest, cook, eat, clean, live far away from parents. But there is no love or feeling of happiness.
I spend every vacation with her, but instead of enjoying it, I feel anger at wasted time. I often wonder if I could be with another woman. Even addicted to dating on the Internet, but because of his family status can not claim more than just meetings.
“Of course, it may seem that divorce is the real solution. But thinking about it makes you regret the efforts and money invested in the arrangement of housing, which will have to leave, otherwise I can not do. In addition, renting an apartment is expensive, and returning to parents is not an option, especially since the father recently drinks and arranges scandals.
In addition, I do not know how to explain to my wife the reason, because we do not even swear, and from the outside it seems that everything is just fine. I sometimes doubt that after such a despicable act, I will ever find a woman I can love.
First of all, I want to note that such cases are not uncommon when, while in a hated marriage, men and women continue to keep the family, because circumstances force them to endure. But the good thing is that Sergey had the courage to admit to himself what the problem is and what exactly he is not satisfied with.
One gets the impression that Sergey considers himself an indecisive and even weak-willed person. And this attitude towards himself weighs him down, prevents him from enjoying life. Probably, first of all, he should regain self-respect, otherwise no life changes will bring joy, says psychologist Lucy Mikaelyan.
“It is worth remembering what qualities he likes about himself, what actions he is proud of, what decisions he made were right and worthy of imitation. Let him remember when other people admired him.
Changing the attitude towards himself, a man will probably be able to look at others in a different way, including his own wife. Maybe he'll see more than a housewife. Because now, when he devalues himself, it casts a shadow on his wife. Perhaps subconsciously, he thinks, “Would a decent woman be next to such an unremarkable man?”
It is not without reason that the perception of the world largely depends on how we perceive ourselves. Therefore, following these recommendations, a man will not only be able to see something interesting and inspiring in his wife, but will also be able to offer something new.
And even if survive the marriage crisis If the family does not succeed and cannot be saved, both will be able to start a new life, not focusing on the negative, but accepting the new opportunities that the world offers.
And today's edition. "Site" talk about How to Survive a Marriage Crisis And is it worth it if there are no vivid feelings for the second half at all? I wonder what professional psychologists think about this.
“Fourth year married, no children, I do not love my wife.” After the first 5 months of married life, he even left, but due to his own weakness, he returned because he could not stand loneliness. And I was afraid that I would be alone, complains 30-year-old Sergey.
“I did not have to talk about love before the wedding, but I was bribed by her caring attitude to me, non-conflict character, economics and the presence of a two-room apartment. Even when I applied, I doubted, but the desire to live apart from her parents and the hope that her touching attitude towards me would smooth out the lack of bright colors outweighed.
But I was wrong. Now I have to pay for my own prudence. Our family life is quiet and peaceful, we live in a family nest, cook, eat, clean, live far away from parents. But there is no love or feeling of happiness.
I spend every vacation with her, but instead of enjoying it, I feel anger at wasted time. I often wonder if I could be with another woman. Even addicted to dating on the Internet, but because of his family status can not claim more than just meetings.
“Of course, it may seem that divorce is the real solution. But thinking about it makes you regret the efforts and money invested in the arrangement of housing, which will have to leave, otherwise I can not do. In addition, renting an apartment is expensive, and returning to parents is not an option, especially since the father recently drinks and arranges scandals.
In addition, I do not know how to explain to my wife the reason, because we do not even swear, and from the outside it seems that everything is just fine. I sometimes doubt that after such a despicable act, I will ever find a woman I can love.
First of all, I want to note that such cases are not uncommon when, while in a hated marriage, men and women continue to keep the family, because circumstances force them to endure. But the good thing is that Sergey had the courage to admit to himself what the problem is and what exactly he is not satisfied with.
One gets the impression that Sergey considers himself an indecisive and even weak-willed person. And this attitude towards himself weighs him down, prevents him from enjoying life. Probably, first of all, he should regain self-respect, otherwise no life changes will bring joy, says psychologist Lucy Mikaelyan.
“It is worth remembering what qualities he likes about himself, what actions he is proud of, what decisions he made were right and worthy of imitation. Let him remember when other people admired him.
Changing the attitude towards himself, a man will probably be able to look at others in a different way, including his own wife. Maybe he'll see more than a housewife. Because now, when he devalues himself, it casts a shadow on his wife. Perhaps subconsciously, he thinks, “Would a decent woman be next to such an unremarkable man?”
It is not without reason that the perception of the world largely depends on how we perceive ourselves. Therefore, following these recommendations, a man will not only be able to see something interesting and inspiring in his wife, but will also be able to offer something new.
And even if survive the marriage crisis If the family does not succeed and cannot be saved, both will be able to start a new life, not focusing on the negative, but accepting the new opportunities that the world offers.
