Husband changed and went to his mistress, but still regularly comes to visit Bashny.Net

Is there a family after an affair? Such a betrayal is hard to forgive. In isolated cases, the cheater is corrected and never goes left again, and most often the spouses file for divorce. In a family where a loved one has cheated and betrayed, there is no trust anymore. Once close people move away with time more and more. Some people just keep their marriage for their kids. Ira did this when she learned that her husband cheated on her. But it wasn't enough for him.



I am 38 years old, 13 of them were married. My husband and I have two children. A couple of months ago, I found out that my husband cheated on me with another woman for 3 years. He said he wanted to stay with me and I forgave him. And three weeks ago, he said he wanted to break up. He didn't take his things, just everything he needed, says he'll take them.



The trouble is that he lives with his mistress and comes to me from time to time allegedly for things. And when he comes, we make love. I know it's wrong and that he's gone to another. Still, I can't stop being jealous of another woman. He didn't file for divorce, and I don't even know what to do. I don’t want to let him go, said Ira.



The fact is that Ira is used to living with her husband, and she does not understand that the choice is not her. My husband uses Ira because he's comfortable. Maybe he doesn’t understand his feelings and thinks he loves both women. He betrayed his wife and abandoned his children.



What Irina is talking about is very similar to addiction. She forgave her husband when he confessed to treason. She accepts the situation she finds herself in now. A woman should understand that she loves her husband more than herself. Infidelity is an injury that the husband inflicted on Ira. Childhood attachment to the man with whom Ira lived for so many years, prevents her to adequately assess the situation.



What to do to file for divorce and collect all your husband’s belongings in one large suitcase and put him out the door. Someone has to make up their mind, otherwise things will go too far and Ira will feel worse and worse after every meeting. It is necessary to contact a therapist and work out this situation together. So Ira will be able to restore her wounded psyche and look at the world soberly.



Don’t be afraid to let go of someone because you don’t know how to live without them. It is clear that Ira got married too young. It is possible that she is financially dependent on her husband. Fear is justified, but it can be overcome.



One should think about the fact that her passionate husband, who misses one woman, does not care about his children and, most likely, does not care about them. Then the mother should take care of the children, at least file for divorce and receive alimony from her husband. But a woman can do all this only after regular visits to a psychologist or psychotherapist, who will give her a point of support, show that there are many other ways in this life. It will be a difficult and long process of recovery, and in the meantime we wish Ira to find a good specialist and end the nightmare in reality.