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How to smooth out sharp corners while communicating with relatives
It is funny when parents wish the newlyweds happiness in every possible way, and after a while they turn into a headache for them. And even the best mother-in-law considers it his duty to unceremoniously intervene in the affairs of a young family to daughter-in-law She gained experience and learned life. In fact, such unhealthy zeal does not benefit anyone.
“Bad sister-in-law lives in the countryside, but they consider it their duty to visit us regularly: they come almost every week.” But these visits are a real test for me, Svetlana complains.
“The point is that my mother-in-law is a direct person. That's what comes to mind. She does what she wants. She clearly lacks tact. You can open the refrigerator and check which foods are available and which ones are not. Or maybe take a cloth and start washing the floor in front of everyone if you think it's not clean enough. I don't know what to do with it.”
“My parents were against this marriage. They assured me that Maxim and I are from different worlds. He comes from a simple village family. I come from a family of wealthy intellectuals. This will prevent us from living normally in the future. But the wedding took place. Mom and Dad accepted my choice and even gave us an apartment.
“Maxim’s parents are poor people. But they always say what's on their mind. Our mother-in-law doesn’t see boundaries when he tells us what he thinks of us. At first, my mother resented her words. Then, they kept that communication to a minimum.”
“Maxim and I have been together for a year and are expecting a baby. He's a wonderful husband, got along well with my parents. They see him as a son, helped with his work, gave him a car. And although he had nothing but education, today we stand firmly on our feet. For that, my mom and dad are very grateful.”
But if Maxim accepted and loved our values, behaves with restraint and reason, then his parents can not be retrained. And although my mother-in-law is not a bad woman, and my friends even envy me, the more I know her, the more she annoys me.
“I prepare myself mentally for her every arrival. I'm screwing up what she'll throw out next time. So, last week, she said in front of everyone that I got better. Wonderful. Is it okay that I'm carrying her grandson?
“She does not seem to mean anything wrong and does not arrange scandals, but it is increasingly difficult to tolerate her. I only talk to her for Maxim. Compounded by her daily calls, which I just don’t want to waste time on.”
And recently the mother-in-law said that after the birth of a grandson they are going to move to the city. To see the baby more often. I’m afraid I can’t stand it if I see it every day, Svetlana said.
It's hard to tell who's right. On the one hand, no daughter-in-law will be happy when her mother-in-law interferes in the affairs of a young family. But also understand the desire of parents to be close to the family of the only son. They may not realize how difficult it is for a daughter-in-law to cope with their increased attention.
Probably, without a frank and calm dialogue, these differences will not be resolved, and therefore we need to quickly sit down at the negotiating table. If not. Build a relationship nowIt will only get worse over the years.
“Bad sister-in-law lives in the countryside, but they consider it their duty to visit us regularly: they come almost every week.” But these visits are a real test for me, Svetlana complains.
“The point is that my mother-in-law is a direct person. That's what comes to mind. She does what she wants. She clearly lacks tact. You can open the refrigerator and check which foods are available and which ones are not. Or maybe take a cloth and start washing the floor in front of everyone if you think it's not clean enough. I don't know what to do with it.”
“My parents were against this marriage. They assured me that Maxim and I are from different worlds. He comes from a simple village family. I come from a family of wealthy intellectuals. This will prevent us from living normally in the future. But the wedding took place. Mom and Dad accepted my choice and even gave us an apartment.
“Maxim’s parents are poor people. But they always say what's on their mind. Our mother-in-law doesn’t see boundaries when he tells us what he thinks of us. At first, my mother resented her words. Then, they kept that communication to a minimum.”
“Maxim and I have been together for a year and are expecting a baby. He's a wonderful husband, got along well with my parents. They see him as a son, helped with his work, gave him a car. And although he had nothing but education, today we stand firmly on our feet. For that, my mom and dad are very grateful.”
But if Maxim accepted and loved our values, behaves with restraint and reason, then his parents can not be retrained. And although my mother-in-law is not a bad woman, and my friends even envy me, the more I know her, the more she annoys me.
“I prepare myself mentally for her every arrival. I'm screwing up what she'll throw out next time. So, last week, she said in front of everyone that I got better. Wonderful. Is it okay that I'm carrying her grandson?
“She does not seem to mean anything wrong and does not arrange scandals, but it is increasingly difficult to tolerate her. I only talk to her for Maxim. Compounded by her daily calls, which I just don’t want to waste time on.”
And recently the mother-in-law said that after the birth of a grandson they are going to move to the city. To see the baby more often. I’m afraid I can’t stand it if I see it every day, Svetlana said.
It's hard to tell who's right. On the one hand, no daughter-in-law will be happy when her mother-in-law interferes in the affairs of a young family. But also understand the desire of parents to be close to the family of the only son. They may not realize how difficult it is for a daughter-in-law to cope with their increased attention.
Probably, without a frank and calm dialogue, these differences will not be resolved, and therefore we need to quickly sit down at the negotiating table. If not. Build a relationship nowIt will only get worse over the years.
