20 signs of love
Excerpts from the book "How to overcome the crisis in relations?" A. V. Sarovskogo written with love for people with a healthy cynicism .
Well, it all started romantic:1. You feel an unprecedented spiritual comfort and tranquility.
Even just begun to meet, you feel the strange feeling that you know this person what kind of person you are looking for a lifetime. You catch yourself thinking that you are good with it(her) with anyone else. Such a sense of peace in your life. Being together, you experience a great emotional lift, you have a better mood, lost the feeling of loneliness, you forget about dullness of everyday life... the World is full of colors and thrill. In fact, all these feelings were and last love. You just don't remember. Bygone love skillfully covers his tracks and makes you forget that you referred to earlier attempts to organise the continuation of your kind. The love is always working on the contrast. Without this there is the brightness of impressions.
2. You create a "cult of personality" of a loved one.
Violated programme of love has as its aim to make new friends to hold each other literally "two hands". To achieve this result, it gives lovers is a persistent feeling that their new(th) friend is "very special(Oh), unique(Oh), no one else like(Oh) and therefore particularly valuable(Oh)"! It's all very reminiscent of the present to create the "cult of personality" of a loved one. People can seriously think: "How I was incredibly lucky! This man is simply super! Look at his(her) profile and frankly admire... anyway, it's just kind of a walking storehouse of various talents and great qualities. Surprisingly, to me, that no one noticed... Well, thank God! This man will get only me."The occurrence of such thoughts is actually not related to the presence of the partner any special qualities. This is another "hitrushka" love. In an effort to facilitate your communication, it kills the both of you all the "problem" of quality hides manifestations of egoism and materialism somewhere far away. While away... Later it will still come out. But the thing is already done: you'll be in the same bed.
3. You obviously trust your loved one.
From the very beginning of the relationship you have started to tell about himself what you had never told anyone before. And this fact greatly surprised... You confidentially inform partner: "May I tell about myself something, but I trust you...". You theoretically understand that everything that is said may later regret, but nothing can be done about it. Despite the knowledge of wisdom "my tongue — my enemy", you openly carries...In the framework of the work programme love your brain tells another brain the information which he requires to "adjust you". Establishing a direct connection, it creates the opportunity to make such adjustments in the other person's behavior, which will provide conflict-free communication at the first stage. The fact of the beginning of the transmission of this important and often sensitive information is very revealing: your body really, really wants to exactly what this man was all the time near you...
4. You want to look better than you really are.
Communicating with your partner, you badly want to look better than you really are. Your motto: "All for you, dear one(s)!". You are full of politeness, care, sense of tact. You try to anticipate all the wishes expensive substance and immediately perform. You with exaggerated attention make sure your appearance, spend hours spinning the mirror, the stain on the pants or leaking mascara turn you into a real tragedy. Knowing our weaknesses and bad habits, you keep them under tight control. You throw the garbage only in the bins, do not spit and do not matter. But sometimes like...
At this time, you madly want to like partner externally. You ready to part with his favorite striped jumper in the spirit of "Freddy Krueger", an annoying loved one blouse or caused a smile sports cap. It was at this time there are a radical image change, and update your wardrobe. Lovers try to look exactly as it wants partner relations. Sports style transformirovalsya in the business, instead of sneakers appear high heels, hippy robes are replaced by a daring mini-skirt... etc., etc.Love is the test of compatibility of personalities and priorities, check those qualities that are needed to achieve success in life and joint parenting. One who will prove that you have all the right qualities and meet the expectations of the partner will be allowed to procreate. It's worth it... For this you can and try!
5. You want to know about my favorite person of all.
You with great eagerness and curiosity vpisyvaetsa information about the person you started Dating. You like offer some sort of "hatch", which pass back information about the kind of music he listens to people that like to read, what movies looks, what dishes prefer, what men or women call him(her) interest, what kind of activity is for him(it) most pleasant, what his(her) sign of the Horoscope, and when the day of birth. We also find out what your partner likes and categorically rejects. All the data obtained in the computer, then entered in your
RAM. Take the time to get information! The more you learn and the more flexible is your behavior at the beginning of the communication, the easier it will be to communicate further, the less the likelihood of serious conflicts. Once in your mind are the creation of a micro model of the partner will be made by his(her) "instant photo" and will form a dynamic picture, this openness and receptivity of your brain will be significantly reduced. It is this fact and will continue to cause problems in communication.
6. You will quickly "catch up" to the level of a loved one.
If your partner is older, wiser or just worldly experienced than you, you immediately "catch up" to a higher level: become a bolder, more relaxed, sexier, start to think a lot about the peculiarities of their behavior, become "thoughtful" person. You have a brand new life purpose and values. In a short time you can completely change their behavior. After six months from the moment of your acquaintance, you will be surprised to find yourself thinking that you have become able to communicate with other people (especially older) are completely equal. If you become friends with someone who is equal to your age or younger, you will also change in a certain way. However, one of the laws of love is: love always equal to more advanced and skilled.The seeming fixture under more developed less developed (for example, clever students of the University under the more primitive "man from the street") actually takes place hidden struggle for "pulling up". If the partner is not ready for development "in tow", the relationship will either end in nothing or maim life plans more Mature side. Keep this in mind...These changes occur at the completion of your information about the new man. The love conducts reprogramming, "tuning and adjustment" of the partners to each other. You probably know that those who communicate to each other, as a result begin to look a lot like each other.
7. You are very strange tolerance.
Unexpectedly, you start to withstand those things that used to cause you feelings of protest and sincere indignation. You condemn it in others, to promise that "to you it will not happen", but suddenly made a deal with his conscience and life principles. For example, a girl could get used to that her boyfriend is a curse, and not so long ago she would have immediately made a remark or simply refused to communicate with such a person. She kisses everyone in sight, and previously condemned those who do so. It repels that her friend is married, is a thug or a drug addict, sick with venereal diseases, etc. the Guy can be quite long to forgive her friend eternal delay, flirting with others, moods, outright extortion of gifts, arbitrary disposal of others ' time, etc. Lovers quietly horrified by their strange tolerance, swear that they will no longer tolerate, but all this continues until, until there is a conflict, unmet expectations, and they will not understand that the relationship is doomed to failure. At the moment of uninstallation of the program love to the person returns to normal severity.
8. You can easily submit your loved one.
Starting meet you with an incredible pleasure to obey the other person and see the same phenomenon with his(her) hand. This is manifested in almost everything. Especially that you are willing to rearrange their plans and mode of his day, and working (school) weeks as you like, if you had the opportunity to see this person as often as possible. It is also interesting that you all the time "want to get ahead of ourselves," you always want to make him(her) "something nice" for a "direct" command. Once you catch (or think you caught) that would like to get from you, you immediately drop everything and fly headlong to execute a particular whim of a loved one(Oh)...
Included the love is partly suppresses your will. Rather, she offers her a deal: you submit in exchange for that, you obey. Build a loving relationship differently technically impossible: people can be absolutely different social, age, economic and cultural layers. To combine their divergent life schedules only guiding "third party": love the Manager-traffic controller named Cupid. To achieve egalitarianism and order in this matter, requires iron discipline and complete obedience.
However, the tendency towards a mutual submission instantly disappears at sunset of a love relationship, when people again become strangers to each other.
9. You always want to be with a loved one.
There is not even anything to talk about. You do always want to be together... it seems as if you established some kind of gravity, and she pulls and pulls you to each other! You catch yourself thinking that "without that person you somehow boring...". If he(a) long calls or send messages, becomes somehow not on itself, anxious and sometimes irritation. As they say, "the soul is not there". When he(a) next, you become much quieter, dramatically improves mood... just want to live!
This is a purely natural "trick". If you have ever watched animals in the mating season, that might draw attention to the fact that at this time they are literally inseparable with each other until the moment when several times they will not mate. Insatiable desire to be together all the time and to be somewhere where no one will interfere with you chat, is an important condition for the beginning of your sexual life with a new partner. Keep this in mind!
10. You are very afraid of losing a loved one.
The idea that the relationship may one day end, is unbearable and brings almost physical pain. You're ready all the time to "smooth things over", to compromise, just not to lose my partner. The fear of losing the partner is most vividly expressed in two things:
The fear of the possibility of parting the love is like boosts your relationship, makes you always strive to partner, afraid that his(her) unable to "discourage and divert".
11. You feel bad when you guys fight...
- You think all the time "about him(her) and about him(her)" as I try to "be in touch". Insuring themselves against the risk of mutual jealousy, you often call each other and write text messages. Frequency of calls is magnified when one of you goes to some party with his company.
- You continually humble my ego and pride.If these hurtful words belonged to someone else, you immediately turned around and left, completely breaking any contacts. But now you are silent, strained smile and give out their emotions, only left alone. Girls, coming home crying. The men silently watch TV for a long time and not talking to anybody.
If you happen to quarrel, quarrel lasts a maximum until the morning of the next day, if you had a fight tonight. The reconciliation comes after a few hours, if the conflict occurred in the afternoon. In the time that elapsed between the quarrel and the restoration of relations, you bad, you think all the time about him(her), and dream as quickly as possible to see and hug. When there is reconciliation, you feel a huge relief and solemnly swear that never in my life did not quarrel...Programme love is derived from the instinct of procreation. For her it is crucial that all the time you were together. The fact of finding together is the basis for the emergence of mutual sexual attraction. Fight prevents this and therefore needs to be overcome as quickly as possible.
12. You like to take care of a loved one.
Despite the fact that you met recently, from now on, you are very concerned about what is happening with this person. Anxiety about his(her) condition becomes part of your daily thoughts and your behavior. Sincerely believing that the partner is "the best man on planet Earth", you surround him(her) constant care and attention. You try to please a person who always want to buy something delicious, inferior to the best seats on the bus and the cinema, doing on the health status, in the rain to give his umbrella, gentle sheltering plaid sleep(th), to assist in anything, from writing notes for a lesson, and walking the dog, and ending with the purchase of the products for his(her) grandmother and repairing leaking faucet. Caring about each other, you check yourself for strength, prove that you can take good care of his wife and child in the future. It's actually very important. Here it is better to overdo it than to give less of his attention.13. Do you agree with all of your nicknames.
Do you agree with all those lovely and playful nicknames that you are issued with a generous hand is this really "Golden" initial period of the work programme of love.
The list is very large. It includes both banal and highly innovative nicknames. The former include: Cat, Chick, tiny, Precious, Baby(ka), Bunny, Rabbit, Sweet(s), Yummy(yy), Fish, Sun, Ray, Star, mouse, Button, Flower, Chick, Pussy, Kashtanka, angel, Swallow (from the size of women's feet: babycakes, get your fins!), Snowdrop (all the time freezes), Imp, etc.
Among the innovative include something like: Elephant, Penguin, Train, Poselov (the one who lowimpedance), Fluffy Fish, Lion, owl, Alisenok, Muhomorchikom, Chaffinch (because of all the time cold), Tail(because all the time), Tortoise (long going), Zebra (there was a striped sweater), Penguinputnam, Museek, Museckin(a), and the like. Sometimes you get confused if all the "Elephant" referred to a very slender girl, but you courageously stand it.Coming up with each other's nicknames, how would you vydelyaetsya partner from among others, declare their exclusive ownership of that person, emphasize the presence of the partner very special qualities and their affection for him(her). This is very true. So don't skimp on nicknames. Expose your talents!
14. You become indifferent to the opinions of others.
After the first meetings, you lose the sense of reality iuge can't think adequately total life situation. You become totally immune to criticism of your partner from your family and friends. Their calls for "a closer look at this man" and tell about it(her) negative information only cause you to feel irritation and a burning desire to protect "unfairly criticized" and "misunderstood".
At this time are important for you, words only for HIM(HER) and no one else! If you need to get the opinion of others about the purchase of shoes, shirt or jacket, you just trust your partner. The views of other people on you now...
15.You become school or work in less time.
After you met and started Dating-almost always problems begin with studies or work. In the optimization period of your relationship you are not doing their job or everyday obligations in full. Control and reports are not written, the necessary instructions or actions are not performed. Walking late, you always don't get enough sleep and sleep literally "on the go". Mind you understand that "all this is very bad and could end badly", but nothing can be done about it because "I want it so bad...". Pronounced willingness to "drop everything and go with your loved one on the edge of the world" is just "from the same Opera"...
A running program love transforms your relationship and Dating in the leading type of activity, the most important, promising and vital lesson. The instinct of procreation is a terrible thing! From the popular TV show about animals you probably know: during rutting animals do not want to eat or drink. The threshold for the sense of danger is lowered to the minimum, they risk themselves and often die. The same people have thoughts about that tomorrow at school or work, chasing filthy broom. The main thing is that now the favorite(th) next...
16. You do not wish to waste your time on a loved one.
Until the control of your consciousness is a program of love, you make a real exploits: ride your partner on the other end of the city and daily lose it two to three hours (there and back). You patiently walk (or sit in the car), near a school, University, straight or office of a loved one. If you had a fight or he(a) is in the hospital, you can half stand under the Windows of his partner. If you talk on the phone it can last for hours! If you have a car, you patiently take him(her) on someone's birthday, and then take it from there, even if it happens at three in the morning. In General, you do not sorry for your time. You can your mind to understand what is "wrong", but again and again go on a long journey to such a person dear to you.
17. You do not wish to spend their money on a loved one.
We all know perfectly well how hard earned money. While in his normal state, we prefer to spend them first of all "favorite". But not when we have someone to love... Starting to date, are you willing to spend on a loved one your money literally to the last penny. You buy each other ice cream and cake, give keychains and clocks, vases and perfume, ties and hats, help in the purchase of clothing and shoes. For the first time at all that you not
only do not mind their money, but you are even ready to take the missing amount from parents or friends...
Love is a choice with whom you are going to spend his life on earth. Love is always an investment in the future. Economically speaking, love is the future. As you know, the future does not save...
18. You communicate with the opposite sex.
No you are not asking about it, but starting to build a "serious relationship" you consider it my duty immediately to cease to flirt and meet new people. You reduce to a minimum those relationships with the opposite sex, which can cause jealousy among(the), with whom to make friends. Including abruptly terminated all contact with partner in past love relationships...
At the beginning of the relationship you openly engaged in self-restraint. Before you would be willing to attend clubs and discos freely out in the evening for a walk. You never coordinated their behavior, did not report in their behavior. Now it's all in the past...
Now you think its Holy duty to spend free time exclusively with him(her). If you escape and sometimes to someone to visit or for a birthday you almost try not to drink alcohol, behave very reserved, go home early. At the same time you every hour "call-back" to the beloved(oops) and report all their movements in space. Despite all this, you feel a little guilty(oops) because sometimes do all this without your partner...
19. You really like the touch of a loved one.
When a partner touches you, it becomes a pleasant surprise. If you Pat on the hand, you feel a little thrill. When you embrace, you take my breath away. You feel a physical need to stroke a loved one's shoulder or back, inhale the scent of his(her) hair, pressing my cheek to his(her) cheek to kiss. Desire struggling to cling to the dearest on earth, creature and kiss him(her), comes to you in the most inconvenient place at the most inconvenient time. But you still hug and kiss each other... After some time after the beginning of your meetings, you start to want their partner. Feeling the hands of a partner becomes a pressing sexual feeling and incredibly exciting...Getting pleasure from physical contact is an important sign that the love is preparing you for the beginning of sexual life with this man. There is nothing to worry. This is love.
20. You gradually become jealous(oops). Before you proud that you supposedly "not jealous." Now you realize how much you were wrong and knew little about themselves. Unexpectedly for the(most) yourself, you feel that you are a real(Aya) owner(CA)! Thinking about the partner, referring to him(her), you often add the prefix "my" or "mine." All this means the following: you woke up in the most banal jealousy... you couldn't even imagine I was capable of... the Horror! So the hunt to "shoot" all those leggy "youngsters-snicklefritz", "Karaush" normal guys or these guys to "Mercedes", hunting for beautiful girls...That's all. This is the most basic signs that you worked a special behavioral program called "love." Before they shoot us point blank, instead of a bag on his head, Cupid dress up "pink glasses", makes us worship(Tu), whose name can then be forgotten or remembered only in the days of bad mood...Well, that's life.
Author: Olga Leonteva, excerpts from the book by A. V. Sarovskogo "How to overcome the crisis in relations?"P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©