Why a man who cannot make himself happy cannot make anyone happy

Since childhood, we have been taught that being selfish is bad. But in some situations, a small amount of selfishness is even beneficial. Especially when people are trying to break it. personalities And they get on his neck, and they don't come to their senses.

There is nothing left but to add to your behavior a little healthy selfishness. And although at the same time you have to refuse other people and disappoint them, but a person who is used to defend himself does not feel uncomfortable about this.



On what grounds can you immediately calculate a person who no one can climb on the neck? It will not work for relatives, neighbors, or even colleagues.

1. He's not trying to please you.
   Even thinking about how you can like someone is initially a failure. But it is sad that this approach is taught by many children. Although these days to behave naturally and politely much more acceptable than flattering and trying to put yourself in the most favorable light.
   
   
   
   
2. Accepting his shortcomings
   Who better than us knows our strengths and weaknesses? And it's one thing when others celebrate our advantages, and quite another when people do not have the tact to not remind us of our shortcomings. You will have to show restraint, but still show the ham his place.
3. He disagrees.
   Often people try to impose their opinion or convince you of the need to perform some actions. A healthy dose of selfishness will allow you not to follow the lead, but to think about the proposal and reject it, if there is no special sense or desire to fulfill it.
   
   
   
   
4. Don’t hesitate to defend your point of view.
   Your opinion may not be the right one, but does it not deserve your protection? The main thing is to learn competently and calmly to find arguments in favor of your point of view. Is it possible to call someone selfish who simply defends his rights?
5. Able to refuse.
   What’s so hard to say no when you don’t want to do what you’re asked to do? In fact, people almost always feel remorse when they reject someone’s request. It is not surprising that there are many tricks in psychology that exploit human faultlessness. For example, a person is asked for something big, refuses, then asked for something less, and agrees, as he is doubly uncomfortable with refusing again. Therefore, there is nothing wrong with being a little more selfish and not allowing any cunning people to use their kindness.
   
   
   
   
   
   
6. He rarely makes promises.
   You have to keep your word, and if you do, you don’t have to give your promises left and right. First, think about whether to fulfill the request and whether you can fulfill it at all. Only then promise. Unfortunately, many easily succumb to the unexpected pressure of the interlocutor and make a promise to look good in his eyes. And then we have to dance to his tune.
   
   
   
   
7. Setting priorities clearly
   If it is more important for a person to first do his own business, and only then spend time with loved ones, then the latter may well consider him an egoist. But if you firmly follow the previously planned plan - selfishness, then this is healthy selfishness. And those who criticize are more likely to envy a person’s determination than 100% confident in their words.
8. Soberly assesses criticism
   A small amount of selfishness is needed to deal with various manipulators who try to achieve their goals through criticism. Add a little more selfishness, and instead of hasty excuses, he will analyze the situation and fight back if necessary.
   
   
   
   

As you can see, selfishness It looks appropriate in each of us. It not only protects the personal boundaries of a person, but also helps to show the impudent their place. They say that if a man knows the measure, he knows everything. And selfishness needs a measure, too.