What to say to a husband who demands a banquet for his relatives for the holidays

New Year holidays are a wonderful occasion to gather the whole family and have fun. But for some it is a time for rest and brewing, and for others - continuous cleaning and cooking. Today we will share a story in which a full house of guests became not a joyful event, but a reason for a quarrel.



“In fact, I love cooking, meeting guests and spending time with them. It's only unexpected visits that get me off balance. My husband says that the thing is that I am very private and can not communicate. I don't think so.

My husband and I are separated from our parents and have a five-year-old daughter. She has to be taken to her grandmother often because I work and so does my husband. It is a pity to leave the child at home, her grandmother is only happy. My job is difficult, I had to take on a number of responsibilities for the sake of a higher salary. Naturally, I come home barely alive. Only on weekends do you have time to clean and sometimes to take care of yourself.”



Full house guests "My husband is very sociable, and with his relatives he communicates every other day. It's great, only they live nearby and often visit us without warning. What's the big deal, folks? This is all great, but when you have plans or corny want to lie on the couch, suddenly the doorbell rings. Often they come with their children, bring sweets and stay up late.



I don’t understand why you can’t talk at home because my husband and I disagree. He does not want to understand that the strength to cook and clean before the arrival and after the departure of the guests is not enough. Even if they don't come empty-handed, I have to set the table and clean up late. And the husband is like goose water: we talked, and he rests at the computer.



I couldn't stand it when I recently decided to go to bed early, at ten o'clock in the evening. As soon as I walked into the bedroom, someone rang the doorbell: “Hi, we’re visiting,” says her husband’s sister, who came with her boyfriend, with a smile. Of course I didn't fall asleep. Quiet gatherings turned into a party with musical accompaniment, laughter and broken glasses.”



After I had to remove the traces of fun before work, in the evening my husband was waiting for a serious conversation. I told him everything I thought about it. After that, our house was quiet for a week. Well, on the eve of the New Year, relatives decided to warn that they will all celebrate the New Year at our home. The mother-in-law said that the husband should not be deprived of communication with relatives. And just because my parents are far away doesn't mean you have to limit your spouse.



Am I against communication? Let them talk at home: at their sister, at their mother. Why can't they? This situation has put me off track, and it is very upsetting that no one appreciates or sees the hard work that their gatherings at home cost me. So I decided to celebrate in neutral territory. She told her husband to order a table in a cafe, and to divide the amount of the check equally between the guests. The new year is the new rules. I will not let myself ride again”.



What would you do in a situation like this? It seems that it is always possible to resolve differences peacefully. But in fact, things are much more complicated. It's not nice to refuse guests a visit. But is it right that they come forward without warning?