Politeness can also be opasnaRazumeetsya, courtesy - it's great when we are talking about etiquette, but it is necessary to extend these rules to other aspects of human society - and everything begins to fall apart. The site warns that in these cases, your politeness can turn against you!
1. Politeness driving - akin ubiystvuProstoy example. You lead the car in the right lane on the one-way street, with bars on this street - two. Here you can see that some well-dressed woman trying to cross the road. It is located a few blocks from the nearest intersection, pedestrian crossing nearby, too, no, she's obviously in a hurry, and it might just get stuck there and not go to the other side. You did not catch, met her eyes and then waved his hand, indicating that you can move on.
and becomes a killer.
Lawyers have long been familiar with such situations. They have to do even a special term - "wave of death." The problem is that when the driver allows pedestrians to cross the road, just to appear polite, pedestrian unconsciously assumes that the driver had looked around
No, not always.
Most often it happens that the driver's gesture means only "if you now become to cross the road in front of my car, I'll move you do not." Notice in this example is not specified anywhere that you checked out what's going on behind you.
As a result, there is a good chance that what you will be responsible for the fact that a well-dressed lady will turn into beef, go astray when her car flying in the nearby, left the band (with which a pedestrian on the road is not visible).
The same applies to situations with a turn to the left (by the rules, the driver decided to turn left to first miss those traveling in the opposite lane). Wave a somebody out of politeness, without checking the pre-strip next to you, and you will have a good chance to get to the hospital
2. courtesy to the head can result in the loss of innocent lyudeyNavernyaka all experienced this: Your boss was stupid. However, you do not tell him something like: "Well, where did you get these figures in the report? From the ceiling? You generally think, what you are doing? " No, it is considered rude.
Instead, you act more delicately: «Oh, and you know that the most difficult thing in the world? Mathematics! And spreadsheets. I can not imagine how you can deal with it ».
Saying all this, you still zhestikuliruete and to look convincing in the eyes of the chief. Experts call this "softened it».
There are some studies to suggest that politeness should make a list of things, forbidden for employees of airlines h4> The problem is that for, to decipher polite and delicate hint on stupidity it requires much more mental effort than deciphering straight and rough indication of the error
And it harms not only our hypothetical "business." "Softened it" could lead to the death of the very real people: about 80% of aircraft crashes are due to human error. But what these statistics do not show, so it is that, How many accidents could be avoided if people on board did not play word games, trying not to be rude to his superiors.
However, there are some studies to suggest that politeness should make a list of things forbidden for employees of airlines, particularly in cases where co-pilots reporting vital information to the commander.
One such case occurred in 1892, when the company Air Florida plane was preparing to fly to Washington. On the wings of the plane formed a dangerous amount of ice, and the second is known. But instead of just saying, "Commander, on the wings of too much ice," he said, "Look, the ice just hanging there, ah, back, back there, you see it»?
When the commander did not understand what he hinted, the pilot tried again: "Look at all these icicles back there and everywhere».
But he still did not understand.
All that made this guy with his messages - inspired commander false sense of security
After another failed attempt to politely speak to the commander and tell him to fly dangerously, the plane took off. A few minutes later the pilot finally said all right, and he understood. His next sentence was: "Larry, we reduce, Larry».
On that day at least 78 people have regretted the fact that the co-pilot did not say everything at once as it is.
3. Good manners in conversation prevents women to express their point of view Courtesy and etiquette, in principle, be reduced to the fact that man knows his place and acts accordingly
Let's see how men and women talk. Women typically use interactive designs that emphasize participation, proximity and group harmony.
Men, on the other hand, if a verbal lead pitch, their speech often pause responses can be delayed, and so forth.
And that's great when men talk to other men - they all use roughly the same tactics.
But in conversation group, which includes both men and women, women's style of communication contributes to the suppression of women's needs, it contributes to the subordination of men in order to maintain harmony in the group. Thus, women put themselves in the lower level of the social hierarchy. And this happens even when a woman has a higher social status than men, for example when a patient man talking with a female doctor.
There have been one study, whose main objective was to find out how much time talking accounted for by men and the share of women, and more importantly, to find out how they feel when a call if these shares - are not equal.
Researchers secretly recorded conversations between the male and female subjects, and then conducted a survey. The survey found that all women felt that they got enough time talking, and everything is true, although the actual time of their conversation ranged from 8 to 42%.
Meanwhile, the men complained that they had not received a fair share of talk time, even in cases where they dominated the conversation 75% of the time.
4. Courtesy your doctor suppresses the instinct samosohraneniyaByt not too attentive towards his doctor like a very bad idea. However, there is a problem here, and it occurs when the short-term need to be polite is stronger than the long-term need not die.
40% of British will not go to the hospital with symptoms of cancer simply because they think, not very polite to bother the doctor your personal inconveniences h4> And who the world would prefer a slow death short of rudeness?
Look at the Brits.
In 2009, a survey funded by Cancer Research UK, found that 40% of Britons do not go to the hospital with symptoms of cancer, simply because in their opinion, not very polite to bother the doctor her personal inconveniences. What is particularly strange is that these "private nuisance" is precisely the reason why there are doctors.
In comparison with the rest of Europe it is believed that each year in the UK could prevent 11,000 deaths, if the British time to consult a doctor.
By the way, the British - is not the only nation whose politeness gets in the way of health. Living in the United States, people from Southeast Asia also fall into a similar trap when to seek medical help. This is because Asians - respect the authority of the medical staff, and from them is considered rude to question their assigned treatment or diagnostic findings of the doctors.
5. Courtesy of society turns into a powder keg, filled with violence and ubiystvamiU you have a neighbor who is too, too polite? Of course, it may be that he - a member of some sect or something like that. Whatever it was, you just can not shake the feeling that it is something wrong. Maybe in his basement he hides a few corpses. At first glance, all this is very similar to a strange, unwarranted accusation, but still there is some truth.
Anthropologists have discovered that extremely polite society is also a very cruel.
It can clearly be seen in the most diverse cultures of Asia, Africa and the Mediterranean. Such as nationality Kung San of the Kalahari desert. Anthropologists describe these people as a soft, harmless, peaceful and with good traditions. Nevertheless, the number of murders among them - three times higher than in the US.
And in this sense they are not alone. Dzhebusi of Papua New Guinea is also known as an exceptionally warm and friendly people. And the number of murders they also 50 times more than the US average, and in the period from 1940 to 1982 there was killed a third of the adult population.
And what does this say?
Well, it seems incredible politeness, ultimately, could be a catalyst for incredible violence. If in a society constantly very polite and someone at some point it breaks the social code, it becomes a great insult
And it is usually corrected by stabbing.