We all have the scars of the past, otherwise we would not have suffered from intractable situations in the present.
I represent to Your attention one very simple exercise. It is based on the method of return yourself in the situation of unresolved conflict, transfer it to the present and complete now.
This technique invented by psychotherapists "new solution". School "new solution" combines two approaches: Gestalt practice and transactional analysis by Eric Berne. This, however, does not prevent the use of my proposed exercise therapists all practitioners, without exception, regardless of their belonging to a particular school. We can say that the exercise included in the common Fund of practical psychotherapy. After, of course, a rigorous competitive selection process, i.e., proving its effectiveness in practice. An exercise that I call "the Pope" called else "Extension term", does not require the help of the therapist, it runs independently. So get to work, comrades...
If You learn to perform this exercise is as easy as calling on a cell phone, it will launch You the mechanisms of self-healing. But more on that later. So... Remember the situation that You experienced in Your past.
It must have a psychological trauma (for You), but not very serious — not rape, not the death of their home on fire, not a fatal betrayal followed by divorce and division of property. Something like this:
The swimming pool (where You took the entire class to take the test) You have undone my bra and laugh at you all the schools listed there on the same day, including... best friend.
The parents of Your classmate, who You were visiting, You are caught for petty theft in their house.
The most beautiful boy in the holiday village he built a hut and invited me there to play all the children except... You.
In the speech, You have forgotten the poem...
You overheard two classmates discussing it, and You laugh. And now very well imagine that his situation and "find yourself" in it.
You can feel it: anger, fear, shame, envy, resentment...
So we'll find ever-present in us is not worked out in a negative sense
. And now we conclude exactly three sentences. Taking a pen and a sheet of paper.
They ______________ . I ________________ . Life is ______. (after completion of the exercise, the paper should burn them all down, rewriting of the new — everything is new!)
However, attention. Please follow this part of the exercise, and then read on.
You know what You just wrote?
What you have written now about others, about yourself and about life is the DECISION HOW to LIVE the script that You took in that distant time.
The character of the neurotic form not major events, and the "detail" such as this. And now we begin anew to endure the same situation so to come out of it a winner.
Don't try to change others! If someone was a villain or a sadist — he remains himself quietly and a scoundrel, and a sadist. Who in the new play changes the role of is ourselves. Therapists apply this technique, see the cause of our failures in following the wrong premise:
We often can't get out of a painful situation, because waiting for all the time that someone else will begin to change...
We want THEN all behaved differently. Is something impossible. Behave differently shall we. So imagine in your mind the Perfect ally, a Friend on whom You can rely.
In this role, imagine who you wish — the Pope, the Elder Brother, a Perfect Friend...
Selecting a mate, take it with you to the very moment of life. And now let him help You win! Only it should be played as realistic as possible: how it can help You to steer clear of this situation and outdo the offenders? Think about it carefully. Play in the imagination of the scene with words, write a script.
You won? If Yes, then everything is fine.
Well, if you don't? There are two options:
You still persist, waiting to see what will change other and not really involved in the game. Well, the usual rigidity. Removed tenacity and training. You chose the wrong ally. Think carefully over the choice of assistant, is suitable to the story. If everything turned out as it should, it is the turn completion point.
Consider now all his (her) words and movement to address Your attackers. What qualities have You given Your assistant? Now apply these properties yourself.
Now return to the situation Without an assistant, but with his qualities, that he "gave". Play the same story in new ways, in their own way and find yourself a winner.
While the winners are not judged. If You worked this way all their traumatic situation from the past to the present, You will see that they — again, they're stereotypical.
So You do catch the "what's the point" and will make a new decision.
It is thus a simple "exercise in imagination" changes our actual experience.
The main thing — to do and to do it efficiently. If You do this exercise efficiently, "You have to sweat the whole swimsuit" (as told my dance teacher). If after exercise Your swimsuit "did not sweat" You this exercise will not help.published
Authors: Elena Nazarenko, Natalia Yakovleva
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©