We live in a society where saying "you look great, have you lost weight, well done" — quite a common compliment.
Recently, I brought to the party, where guests and only did what was discussed, who how much thinner, and let critical remarks on the figures of others. I weaned — I have been a very different circle of friends that understand not to do this.
I admit that often people do not want to hurt you, saying "have You lost weight? Wow!"or "do you have something better!»
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Now let me explain why I absolutely refuse to discuss someone's weight
1. It is impossible to judge about the circumstances of human life, about how he is healthy and happy due to its weight.
In our society it is believed that to be thin is "good" and fat is "bad". This claim is profoundly mistaken. The decrease or the addition of weight says nothing about whether the person is healthy and happy. They do not give any reason to draw conclusions about the circumstances of his life or habits.
The girl you have been praised for what she has lost, may have eating disorder behavior, threatening her life. A person loses weight when he had cancer, depression, bulimia, when his sorrow when he suffers.
And the one who has gained weight, can be healthy and happy; perhaps he or she is recovering from an eating disorder, came out of depression, overcome a serious illness.
It is impossible to give weight to moral evaluation, it is not in the plane of the "good–bad". In addition, our bodies change with age, this is the natural course of human life and there is nothing to be ashamed of. The value of our bodies does not depend on how much they weigh or how they form.
2. Comments about weight can seriously disrupt someone else's psychological balance
The statements about weight are often psychological "trigger", I know that a lot of examples. Those who are undergoing rehabilitation after an eating disorder behavior, discussion of their weight could cause a relapse and to negate the entire effect of the treatment. It is important to understand that according to a person's appearance it is impossible to judge whether he has an eating disorder. It happens in people with any body shape or weight.
Or let's say that someone went on a diet and lost weight, and you praised him. Now we know that 95 percent of diets allow you to lose weight just for a very short time, and then pounds back, so is your praise to turn into a mockery or rebuke very soon, when people begin to gain weight back. Because of this people often fall into the so-called "vicious circle of dieting," which causes great harm to the health, physical and psychological.
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3. Discussion weight leads away from the really important issues
Amazes me sometimes that women developed high-achieving in life, with an interesting job, children, family, watch, discuss diet and how much someone weighs. These women have something to say — and they are busy with some small, minor, not worthy of their attention. I do not blame them because it is a cultural and social issue.
Culture of dieting, fixation on thinness creates problems not only for women but also for men. However, it is women, hinging on these issues, cut yourself from the other really important areas of your life. And then, think about it: you had not seen with good friend, and the first thing you say to her, about her appearance, her weight! Do not you wonder what she's lived all these years, what she thinks, she feels, what is she doing? There are so many things much more important than waist size or diet.
When we first put looks and weight, we nurture a culture where a woman running for President, not criticized for its political stance, but because of how she looks. It's not a weight issue — it is a question of a just society.
What to say to those who told you "you look great! Have you lost weight?»
"Weight for me is not important, I have lots of other things!»
«Have no idea. I don't weigh in. How are things at your house?»
"I feel fine, and this is important".
"No, I didn't lose weight. I'm just happy and feel great".
"I think that's an inappropriate question".
The answer to the phrase: "are You recovered since we met last?»
"I pretty well, thank you."
"Why are you so interested in my weight?»
«Have no idea. I don't think my main advantage is the number on the scale".
"I try not to focus on weight, and would appreciate it if we not discuss it".
«Yeah!"(with a smile)
"I don't think my weight for anyone but me."
Your human value has nothing to do with how much you weigh and how you look. Most importantly, how good you are to others, is there a spark in your eyes, the tenacity with which you go to the dream as you build relationships. You deserve love — just the way you are.published