Jason fried: Expectation — the thing I try to avoid

Expectations lead to disappointments, but not the results. The results just havenever had goals. I just move from one thing to another, without feeling like committed to something. It works for me.

Another thing I try to avoid expectations.

One of the few things in life that we control is our reaction to things. And expectations — what determines these reactions. They often determine the difference in the result, and the situation is often not in your favor. I prefer to deal with these reactions, not the disappointment of my expectations that "everything-must-be-fine."

What is the meaning to wait for something if you don't control the result?

When you have no expectations, you assess things objectively, instead of making assumptions. And even if you are doomed to disappointment, only because it was a bad experience, not because you think it would be incredibly cool, but it turned out just fine.

The rejection of the expectations makes it all more manageable. You just feel something instead of feeling that you "should" feel.

In other words, the rejection of the expectations means you can't be disappointed. Frustration means that something went wrong, as you'd expect. Instead of disappointed for some reason, I am unhappy with the result. It's a fine line, but the emotional impact is completely different.

Expectations lead to disappointments, but not the results. The results are there. I'm going to rate them, not whether they made it to the mythical line in the mental sand.

In practiceI do business without expectations. We're just doing everything we can, come what may. If looking for something, there are only two possible outcomes — either you do what we hope or not. I prefer to just do and enjoy the process. By the way, the anticipation and expectations are not the same. Premonitions do not have the emotional impact if the results are not as expected. Incorrect feeling? "I was wrong". Expectations are not met? "Oh shit!" See the emotional difference?

In my personal life, I also do not expect anything from others except for the belief that all people are good until proven otherwise.I'm more interested in what people actually than what I would like to see. If you want to be disappointed in someone, set high expectations. Of course, when you know the person, you feel what he's capable of, but still people only do what they are doing, and do not meet my expectations, contradict or exceed them.

If I participate in the competition, I do not expect victory. I want to win. I try my best. But I don't expect victory. My expectations have nothing to do with the competition, and I don't control the other side. I can only do everything in my power, so why measure it with something other than the end result?

When I go to the movies, I don't expect it will be bad, good or great — I just want to watch a movie. At the end I can ask myself, like me or not, but not what did it for me as much as I expected (or liked). I am convinced that some things people will like more, if no one will tell them that it's not their taste. Not a bad thing, you know.

Going to the airport, I'm not afraid of the security checks, the runway or a long wait for a flight. Why? Because I have no expectations for this. Because if you look truth in the eye, these expectations are usually bad. If so, then you expect disappointment and receive it. Not a very good start to the day.

Going for a run, I don't expect that run of 6 miles, but if not, that's great. But if not, fine too — I continue to run. If I participated in the competition, things could be different, but I just run for fun.

When a new iPhone, I have never been disappointed that there is no one or the other. I usually love it. Why? Because he did not expect anything else but the news. I will be able to judge things when she will already be in place, instead of having to come up with a reason to be upset. The number of people who complain about the thing that didn't exist 5 minutes ago says about the power of negative expectations.


This indifference? No, I'm not indifferent. I have my own opinion and point of view. Some more solid, some less. But I consider the results when they already have, and do not write in the head scenario, you need to follow.

It was not always so. There was a time when I was painting in my mind waiting all day. Constantly compare reality with imagination is hard and tiring. I think it often deprives us of the joy of experiencing what is. So over the last few years I let go and became a much happier and contented.

And really, every day can be very good when your only expectation is that the sun will rise. published


@ Jason Fried

P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©

Source: ideanomics.ru/articles/8914


See also

New and interesting