Competition mother and daughter Bashny.Net

Talking about it is not accepted, and I prepared for the fact that I will fly sneaker. But sneakers to be afraid of to the bottom not reached.

There is one point in the relationship of daughters and mothers, about which I cannot be silent. Sometimes that is what stands between us and our moms. After all, most of our offense anyway – on mom.





"Mother I adored, I was always her Princess. But as soon as I turned 14, I had Breasts, I started to suitors, something is broken. I have the feeling that my mom hates me. For twenty years. And I still can't understand when and how it happened."

"My mother at some point started to command my appearance. She really doesn't like it when I look like a woman, even though I'm over thirty. She said that when sees a beautiful thirty-year woman, and this woman is her daughter, she was terrified of what she really is old. Therefore, the mother requires – hysterical – I had bangs, frivolous and teenage apparel, behaved like a child. And I don't want to."

"Sometimes I have a feeling that my mom is in love with my husband. He looks so much like my father in his youth. Father, too, sees it all, and I don't know what he feels. When mom rolls him tantrums of jealousy – for me. When she tries to break us up. She dresses up prior to our arrival, my husband's courting, flirting. And I for her as a rival. She's not talking to me, constantly teasing and tells her husband as he with me luck."

"My mother is very beautiful and I always wanted to be like her. But at a certain age the mother began to tell me what I'm up to it as the moon. Legs and curves, and a terrible smile, and the hair is scarce, and the mind did not. I cried nights, not understanding why she got so. Still can't accept his appearance, though I'm not ugly, not ugly."





These stories are not unique. I hear these in different variations. Change the characters, the circumstances, but the essence remains the same.

And to discuss this, I suggest that you look at the picture of mother on daughter from all sides. This also applies to the relationship between father and son, but we consider it was the female manifestation. Important to us.

In nature, everything is very interesting. When I was little, I was amazed. When the cat kittens grow, she forgets that it's her kids. For her, they become normal cats and cats. I have the feeling that she doesn't remember that this was her kittens that she gave birth to them, nourished. Even a cat can have kittens from his own son. For her it is normal. She can fight with your own daughter for the attention of a cat. She becomes the rival that which she herself nourished.

Once the cubs grow up, they completely lose contact with their parents. Sometimes in captivity they are even seated in different enclosures, to the parents of the child did not eat. It happens sometimes.

People – too many animal manifestations. But the animal burdened mind, and therefore is able to not live only by instincts, of which we have many, but to change their behavior. We are his children do not forget the ties between us are torn not so often. Even if we do not communicate, then each other remember. But the mechanism of the competition mothers and daughters remains. And if there's nothing to do, he can poison our lives.

It's in our natural instincts. The same instincts that help us to feel like a mother. The mechanism of severing the ties of kinship and perception of the adult child of your gender as a competitor. And if we live only by instinct, not including intelligence, it will necessarily happen to us.

The problem is that you need to learn to live with the mind. When children grow up, age is the most appropriate. It is no coincidence that almost all children's stories the Princess at an early age remains without a mother. Mother performs its function, engorged baby love, and then disappears. In its place there is an Evil Stepmother like Cinderella and Snow white, and Rapunzel – and many others. Actually this happens with any mother who's daughter is nothing but instincts. She did not, would not, could not develop the Mind, to go beyond animal communication. Unfortunately.

Imagine yourself in the place of a mother. She was young and beautiful, she loved and was loved. She had the attention of men, her husband and others. Perhaps she was very proud of her appearance, figure. May competed in my head with other women over who is the most beautiful.

And so the years take their toll. On the face of wrinkles, no matter how much you use sunscreen. The figure fades, even staying slim – SAG here and there. Favorite dress sitting worse every year. Youth is gone. Left health, and beauty, and happiness. She was unable to have a baby, it could be menopause starting. That is the culmination of her feminine behind. She was useless and uninteresting.

And near growing girl. Which is what I already have. She has my beautiful eyes, and I have no wrinkles around. She has my figure, my hair. She did as I twenty years ago, if not better (because something beautiful she had inherited from her father). Her fans, her future, her love, children. And I? I have only the past.

So women begin to actively intervene in her daughter's life, trying to reshape everything in there to your taste, hang in her house, your curtains, dictate their own rules, are trying to completely subjugate her, to win her, to put on the blades. Thus proving to myself that I'm still on earth all the sweeter, all ruddy and whiter. And Yes, the tale about Snow white is just about it. Competition is no longer young mother and her beautiful daughter. It was his mother, not stepmother. But mothers, motherhood which is instinctively.





If a woman does not develop the mind, along with the wrinkles comes to her depression, panic and the desire to return something so important to her – youth. As if it is youth that gave you happiness, as if only it is possible. And to see a woman almost as beautiful as I once hard. Because I have it all, but not anymore. And she had it all there and all to come. And if reason doesn't work, erased the feeling that this is my daughter. It remains only to envy, jealousy, rivalry, anger.

Look at the relations with the daughters of all those famous women who strongly want to look younger, along with her daughter. Injections, surgery. It looks strange – one after another gave birth to and raised. Almost always, these relationships are very painful, they have a lot of competition, struggle, jealousy and neblagopoluchnomu.

And at the same time, where the relationship between a mother and adult daughter harmonious, mother is on another platform, the platform of the mind. She is not afraid to grow old, does not bind his life within their appearance now. Knows how to be happy in any circumstances and at any age. But how many such women? We generally do not know how be happy and to be happy, when it seems like all the behind – the task is unthinkable.

Not always this happens in the period of girlhood daughter, sometimes earlier. Sometimes the daughter may irritate the mother from birth. Especially if the father immediately gets very attached to the girl and gives her all his attention. Daddy's girls – this is just one of the variants of rivalry with the mother.

If you are in this situation on the spot his daughter, just understand that nothing you can do. And to return to his loving mother too. You can only pray for her and believe. That someday she will awaken from sleep, like Sleeping beauty, he'll see you as his little girl.

But it can not Wake up, maybe you won't. And you would be best to remember her as she once was, when everyone else saw you as a daughter.

• Sometimes it is better to move away to a safe distance to avoid being burned by her emotions.
• Sometimes it's better to communicate too much not to open.
• Sometimes it is better to set clear boundaries.

 

But remember that it is your mother. Be thankful to her, respect. And if you can – love. Because her love is very necessary, even if she does not accept.





If you are in this situation in the role of mother – develop the mind. Learn to be happy. Now. Not in memories, but now. Take care of your beauty, health, realizing that every day we are not getting any younger. But remember that the main beauty's in the sparkle of your eyes. Be her example of how to be happy at forty, and fifty and sixty... Learn to look at your daughter, remembering her little. Confess to yourself that you are envious and jealous. And learn to love one another again. Love the one your love is very necessary.

 

Also interesting: Mother and Daughter: What's behind the curtain

Unhappy daughter of a perfect mother

 

In fact, each side is waiting for love and happiness. One thinks she will get all of this, if you will turn back the clock. Another thinks that everything will work out, if you run far, and live on his own. But both are wrong. And it would be good to have time to understand it, to one day really meet each other.

Because they really need each other – and give each other a lot.published

 

Author: Olga Valyaeva

 

P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©

Source: www.valyaeva.ru/konkurenciya-materi-i-docheri/