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What is Behind Common Female Phrases
The weather in the house rests on a woman’s shoulders. This task is not easy, and you can lose patience and resort to phrases that can put the conversation (and all relationships) in a dead end. Let’s try to understand the “female language”.
1. "That's great!"It’s the word women usually use at the end of an argument when they’re right and a man needs to shut up.
“You don’t pay attention to me at all!” meets her husband on the doorstep of an angry Katya. "Where have you been staggering?"
Oleg is puzzled. Katya, I was only half an hour late – there was an important conversation with the contractors.
"I don't care!" “I’m alone!” his wife said.
“I don’t understand why you want me to entertain you? That's how I work, make money for my family, and we spend weekends together.”
“So you think everything’s okay?” – Katya makes round eyes. Oh, yeah! That's great!
Psychological advice:
Men may not understand exactly what this phrase means and become disappointed. But that's not what you wanted! Try to soften your message a little. Say, for example, that it is important for you to emphasize your point of view and it is hurtful when he devalues it.
2. "I'm fast! Five minutes!This phrase can be interpreted in two ways. If a woman says it before preparing to leave the house, “five minutes” is equivalent to half an hour. But if you were given only five minutes to watch the first half of a football game before you start “helping around the house”, rest assured – it will be exactly five minutes!
“Lena, how much more time do you need to pack up?” – Oleg stands at the door dressed, holding the car keys in his hands.
“Five minutes,” a voice from the room replies.
“Okay, I’ll warm up the engine.”
After 20 minutes, powdered Lena gets into the car. Oleg is angry: You said five minutes, and it was 20 minutes! Do you always do what you can trust?” There was no trace of a good mood, the couple had a conflict.
Psychological advice:
It is unlikely that cunning can maintain a good tone in relationships. If you minimize the time you need, a man will not take your words seriously. Do you want that? Try to be honest about how much time you will need and for what.. The result will not be long in coming: a man who is used to your honesty will also take his and your words seriously in other situations, such as watching a football match.
3. "Nothing happened."This is the calm before the storm.This “nothing” clearly means something, so beware. Arguments that begin with “nothing happened” usually end with “good.”
“Lorochka, my husband is just an insensitive chunk!”, Vic complained to her friend.
“Why did you decide to do that, Vikusya,” says Laura.
“When I feel bad, he just goes and eats quietly, or watches TV!”
“What do you say to him when you feel bad?”
“Well, I say that nothing happened and I am silent for a long time,” says Vika.
Psychological advice:
Only a very experienced and wise man will not believe your “nothing happened” and will continue to ask about your experiences. Most of the men will think that you are not in the mood for conversation. Then you can wait a long time for your faithful to show initiative and not wait.Try to talk to him right away and talk about your offense.
4. "Well, keep going."It's a challenge, not a resolution. Do not continue under any circumstances!
“Roma, explain to me what is happening! Who is this woman with whom you talked on the phone? – Irochka put her hands on her chest and prepared to listen.
"This is my employee, she called for work ...," Roma said guiltyly.
"Well, go on!" the wife added sarcastically.
Continue! Good. No, it's not work! Ludochka confessed to me of love and passionate desire. This is what you wanted to hear, suspicious you are mine!?, Roma burst out and flew out of the room.
Psychological advice:
When you take the position of "sarcastic lady," you run the risk of getting the same angry and arrogant response. Why would you do that? Think about what you really want to say to a man right now, and tell him that.
5. Heavy, loud sighThis nonverbal statement is often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means something like this: she thinks you're a complete idiot and doesn't understand why she wastes time standing here arguing with you about anything.
“He does not notice me at all and does not understand me,” Katya wrote sadly in her diary. - What a relationship! It’s hard to see how sad I look, how I don’t smile at all, and how I sigh all the time from the weight that lies on my shoulders. He can’t see it, he probably doesn’t love me. Do we really need to break up?”
Psychological advice:
Nonverbal signals in communication, of course, are very important and saturate communication. However, they may not always be read correctly by another person. So that a man does not find you strange, try to help him interpret your condition. It'll be easier for you and him.
6. "It's okay."One of the most dangerous statements that only a man can hear from a woman. “All is well” means that she takes time out to figure out when and how you will pay for your mistake.
“What happened,” Igor asked his beloved.
"It's okay," Nina struggled to put a smile on her face.
“But I can see that something is wrong!” – angry man.
"Yes, it's okay, you thought!", Nina spoke even faster, trying to smile more and more.
“I can’t do this anymore!” said Igor and slammed the door.
Curtain.
Psychological advice:
Try to tell the man directly about your discontent. If you say “everything is fine” while folding your hands and blowing your lips, that’s a double message. And it is this form that can cause reciprocal irritation from the interlocutor.If you need time to think, tell me I'm offended and I need time to think of a punishment for you. This will put the conversation in a more open and fun way: it’s not surprising if the dialogue ends with your shared laughter.
7. "Thank you."If a woman says thank you, don’t ask why. Just tell her, "you're welcome." There is, however, a subtle point: if instead of a simple “thank you” you hear “thank you very much!” (with emphasis on the word “big”), you should immediately notice the subtle sarcasm that sounds in her voice. After that, for no reason in the world do not say "for nothing." Otherwise, it will not matter (see below).
Psychological advice:
So that a man doesn't break his head for a long time trying to solve your mysteries,Try to be clear enough in communication. Even if you want to play cat and mouse, at some point, become more serious and clarify your signals. After all, the game can drag on and grow into an incomprehensible absurdity.
8. "No matter."This is an elegant female way of sending a man where Makar did not drive calves.
“What does everything you said mean? I didn’t understand! – tried to clarify Lena at Marina.
“Oh...no matter...” stretched Marina, trying to seem even more mysterious.
“Well, it doesn’t matter – it doesn’t matter...” – threw Lena and switched to a conversation with the radiant tick. .
Psychological advice:
If you use this move, be prepared that the man may not return from where you sent him. If you really care about this person, leave him a chance to come back. For example, adding, “It doesn’t matter right now, but I’ll explain it to you later.”
9. “Don't worry, I'll do it myself. . ?Another threatening statement, most often said at the moment when the woman has repeatedly asked the man to do something (throw out the garbage, collect socks lying around the house, nail a nail), found that he did not even get up from the chair, and began to do everything herself. Later, this situation will result in a silly male question "What's wrong?" and a female answer at number 3.
Psychological advice:
If a man does not respond to your requests, it can cause irritation and anger. When you choose a detached position: “I myself”, “nothing happened”, he feels rejected. Yes, you're very offended and you want revenge. But remember that it is the woman who makes the weather in the house. Try to get out of your resentment in contact with a man and tell him how long you asked him and how hurt you are now. Here you can not skimp on expressions (of course, with respect) - you see, a man realizes how valuable and important to you.
Rules of communication with men:
If you want him to understand you, study male psychology and know the rules of communication with men.
Rule one: If you're asking for something, say it directly. Men do not like hints, a rare man will spend time to solve your mysteries - except during a period of romantic love. Then he will become less and less willing to do so, because he is busy with his male mission, and “incomprehensible messages” from a woman will undermine his male self-esteem.
Rule two: Try to speak his language—namely, the language of the intellect. Messages such as “I feel”, “according to my feelings” may be incomprehensible to the male brain, accustomed to thinking and calculating. Of course, it is good if you notice your feelings. Be more logical and rational with it.
Rule three: argue with him, but don't fight. Men like to argue with a woman, this is attached to the relationship of drive and mischief. But do not overdo it – in the end, give the primacy to him. Let him enjoy his victory over you and you over him.
Rule four: Be quiet in time. Men don’t like a lot of questions, especially questions. If you notice that your man for some reason does not want to answer or he does not know what to say, stop digging. Now he needs a pause - let him stay in it.
Author: Elena Mitina
P.S. And remember, just by changing your consciousness – together we change the world!
Source: elenamitina.com.ua/publications/chto-stoit-za-zhenskimi-frazami.html
1. "That's great!"It’s the word women usually use at the end of an argument when they’re right and a man needs to shut up.
“You don’t pay attention to me at all!” meets her husband on the doorstep of an angry Katya. "Where have you been staggering?"
Oleg is puzzled. Katya, I was only half an hour late – there was an important conversation with the contractors.
"I don't care!" “I’m alone!” his wife said.
“I don’t understand why you want me to entertain you? That's how I work, make money for my family, and we spend weekends together.”
“So you think everything’s okay?” – Katya makes round eyes. Oh, yeah! That's great!
Psychological advice:
Men may not understand exactly what this phrase means and become disappointed. But that's not what you wanted! Try to soften your message a little. Say, for example, that it is important for you to emphasize your point of view and it is hurtful when he devalues it.
2. "I'm fast! Five minutes!This phrase can be interpreted in two ways. If a woman says it before preparing to leave the house, “five minutes” is equivalent to half an hour. But if you were given only five minutes to watch the first half of a football game before you start “helping around the house”, rest assured – it will be exactly five minutes!
“Lena, how much more time do you need to pack up?” – Oleg stands at the door dressed, holding the car keys in his hands.
“Five minutes,” a voice from the room replies.
“Okay, I’ll warm up the engine.”
After 20 minutes, powdered Lena gets into the car. Oleg is angry: You said five minutes, and it was 20 minutes! Do you always do what you can trust?” There was no trace of a good mood, the couple had a conflict.
Psychological advice:
It is unlikely that cunning can maintain a good tone in relationships. If you minimize the time you need, a man will not take your words seriously. Do you want that? Try to be honest about how much time you will need and for what.. The result will not be long in coming: a man who is used to your honesty will also take his and your words seriously in other situations, such as watching a football match.
3. "Nothing happened."This is the calm before the storm.This “nothing” clearly means something, so beware. Arguments that begin with “nothing happened” usually end with “good.”
“Lorochka, my husband is just an insensitive chunk!”, Vic complained to her friend.
“Why did you decide to do that, Vikusya,” says Laura.
“When I feel bad, he just goes and eats quietly, or watches TV!”
“What do you say to him when you feel bad?”
“Well, I say that nothing happened and I am silent for a long time,” says Vika.
Psychological advice:
Only a very experienced and wise man will not believe your “nothing happened” and will continue to ask about your experiences. Most of the men will think that you are not in the mood for conversation. Then you can wait a long time for your faithful to show initiative and not wait.Try to talk to him right away and talk about your offense.
4. "Well, keep going."It's a challenge, not a resolution. Do not continue under any circumstances!
“Roma, explain to me what is happening! Who is this woman with whom you talked on the phone? – Irochka put her hands on her chest and prepared to listen.
"This is my employee, she called for work ...," Roma said guiltyly.
"Well, go on!" the wife added sarcastically.
Continue! Good. No, it's not work! Ludochka confessed to me of love and passionate desire. This is what you wanted to hear, suspicious you are mine!?, Roma burst out and flew out of the room.
Psychological advice:
When you take the position of "sarcastic lady," you run the risk of getting the same angry and arrogant response. Why would you do that? Think about what you really want to say to a man right now, and tell him that.
5. Heavy, loud sighThis nonverbal statement is often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means something like this: she thinks you're a complete idiot and doesn't understand why she wastes time standing here arguing with you about anything.
“He does not notice me at all and does not understand me,” Katya wrote sadly in her diary. - What a relationship! It’s hard to see how sad I look, how I don’t smile at all, and how I sigh all the time from the weight that lies on my shoulders. He can’t see it, he probably doesn’t love me. Do we really need to break up?”
Psychological advice:
Nonverbal signals in communication, of course, are very important and saturate communication. However, they may not always be read correctly by another person. So that a man does not find you strange, try to help him interpret your condition. It'll be easier for you and him.
6. "It's okay."One of the most dangerous statements that only a man can hear from a woman. “All is well” means that she takes time out to figure out when and how you will pay for your mistake.
“What happened,” Igor asked his beloved.
"It's okay," Nina struggled to put a smile on her face.
“But I can see that something is wrong!” – angry man.
"Yes, it's okay, you thought!", Nina spoke even faster, trying to smile more and more.
“I can’t do this anymore!” said Igor and slammed the door.
Curtain.
Psychological advice:
Try to tell the man directly about your discontent. If you say “everything is fine” while folding your hands and blowing your lips, that’s a double message. And it is this form that can cause reciprocal irritation from the interlocutor.If you need time to think, tell me I'm offended and I need time to think of a punishment for you. This will put the conversation in a more open and fun way: it’s not surprising if the dialogue ends with your shared laughter.
7. "Thank you."If a woman says thank you, don’t ask why. Just tell her, "you're welcome." There is, however, a subtle point: if instead of a simple “thank you” you hear “thank you very much!” (with emphasis on the word “big”), you should immediately notice the subtle sarcasm that sounds in her voice. After that, for no reason in the world do not say "for nothing." Otherwise, it will not matter (see below).
Psychological advice:
So that a man doesn't break his head for a long time trying to solve your mysteries,Try to be clear enough in communication. Even if you want to play cat and mouse, at some point, become more serious and clarify your signals. After all, the game can drag on and grow into an incomprehensible absurdity.
8. "No matter."This is an elegant female way of sending a man where Makar did not drive calves.
“What does everything you said mean? I didn’t understand! – tried to clarify Lena at Marina.
“Oh...no matter...” stretched Marina, trying to seem even more mysterious.
“Well, it doesn’t matter – it doesn’t matter...” – threw Lena and switched to a conversation with the radiant tick. .
Psychological advice:
If you use this move, be prepared that the man may not return from where you sent him. If you really care about this person, leave him a chance to come back. For example, adding, “It doesn’t matter right now, but I’ll explain it to you later.”
9. “Don't worry, I'll do it myself. . ?Another threatening statement, most often said at the moment when the woman has repeatedly asked the man to do something (throw out the garbage, collect socks lying around the house, nail a nail), found that he did not even get up from the chair, and began to do everything herself. Later, this situation will result in a silly male question "What's wrong?" and a female answer at number 3.
Psychological advice:
If a man does not respond to your requests, it can cause irritation and anger. When you choose a detached position: “I myself”, “nothing happened”, he feels rejected. Yes, you're very offended and you want revenge. But remember that it is the woman who makes the weather in the house. Try to get out of your resentment in contact with a man and tell him how long you asked him and how hurt you are now. Here you can not skimp on expressions (of course, with respect) - you see, a man realizes how valuable and important to you.
Rules of communication with men:
If you want him to understand you, study male psychology and know the rules of communication with men.
Rule one: If you're asking for something, say it directly. Men do not like hints, a rare man will spend time to solve your mysteries - except during a period of romantic love. Then he will become less and less willing to do so, because he is busy with his male mission, and “incomprehensible messages” from a woman will undermine his male self-esteem.
Rule two: Try to speak his language—namely, the language of the intellect. Messages such as “I feel”, “according to my feelings” may be incomprehensible to the male brain, accustomed to thinking and calculating. Of course, it is good if you notice your feelings. Be more logical and rational with it.
Rule three: argue with him, but don't fight. Men like to argue with a woman, this is attached to the relationship of drive and mischief. But do not overdo it – in the end, give the primacy to him. Let him enjoy his victory over you and you over him.
Rule four: Be quiet in time. Men don’t like a lot of questions, especially questions. If you notice that your man for some reason does not want to answer or he does not know what to say, stop digging. Now he needs a pause - let him stay in it.
Author: Elena Mitina
P.S. And remember, just by changing your consciousness – together we change the world!
Source: elenamitina.com.ua/publications/chto-stoit-za-zhenskimi-frazami.html