How medicine came to sex and accidentally created another problem

Were sexual relations between people for a long time they were on the minds of poets, writers, moralists, philosophers, anyone, but not physicians. Additional female reproductive system and male of course, worried, but the frequency, duration and quality of their interaction is not very.

And now care. Yes, not just medicine, and the great and terrible mental health because sexual disorders are included in a separate section of the manual of mental disorders DSM-V, American Bible of psychiatry.

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Today a little voice from the Puritan past, few voices from this glossy, now there are medical voice – with all of its diagnoses, norms, abnormalities and the horrified townsfolk, covering issues specialists "and 10 minutes of sexual intercourse – is this normal or am I crazy?""and between me and my husband for three months no sex, this deviation?""I am not every time during sex had an orgasm, I have to be hospitalized"?

That is medicine with her characteristic thoroughness described (set) a sequence of actions: desire, arousal and orgasm. And it seems as if "normal" orgasm is during sexual intercourse. Here is more from the subconscious POPs up Mr. Freud, with its a hundred times already refuted ideas about the "Mature" vaginal and "immature" clitoral orgasms.

But still, it seems like normal is to experience a peak of pleasure at the same time with a partner – the idea of bringing some men to a nervous tick at the thought of sex and women to incredible heights of acting. But if something is wrong at any stage, or their sequence is called the problem. Medical. That is, as if everything becomes very serious.

And although sex after contraceptive and sexual revolution have long since ceased to be solely for procreation, it is the sequence for fertility – desire-arousal-orgasm – is the norm, otherwise the deviation. If not children the meaning of sex, then what? Pleasure? A sense of intimacy? Stress relief?

After all, if it's not about the child, then embrace is the same sex, the male erection for them is not required. It is not at all required to give pleasure to the partner. "Is this normal?"asks the man in the street medicine. And Yes, orgasm does not equal satisfaction and pleasure is not equal to orgasm. Really a lot of individual nuances. There are features, and there are aspects of the relationship of the couple.

For example, one of the medical diagnoses sounds like "Female sexual arousal disorder" — a disorder of sexual arousal in women. Although the medical literature clearly States that on the occurrence of this disorder affects a lot of factors – ranging from personal history, traumatic experience to quality of relations with partner, a mere woman it's hard to get rid of feelings of "something wrong" if she last time not like sex all that excited before, now sometimes even annoying – about the horror that to me.

Diagnosis? Psychiatric? Where fear and anxiety – there is already an established market. The second, perhaps, by volume after diet: training, courses, magazines, pills (legal and not)... And they all reinforce the idea that not wanting sex is a problem that needs to be urgently treated.

Don't get me wrong, I understand that medicine is like the best – if there is a problem (and the experience of this state can really be a problem for women), generated in the diagnosis, that means research, statistics and hope for a pharmacological solution methods for problems, hope for women viagra in the first place. And yet it is (viagra) not (at least comparable effectiveness with the male), and diagnosis is, in many women a feeling of "something is wrong, I sick kind". The feeling that causes chronic stress, and where stress – there is no place for reproduction, i.e. sexual desire. Vicious circle.

It is useless to read the article "10 ways to regain the passion", if a pair of mass conflicts, resentments and manipulation – all of them press the button stress, switching off the desire – you can not wish a rapprochement with those who want to escape. How not to step on the gas new beautiful linens and romantic tour, if the second foot presses on the brake resentment and fatigue — the car will not go. The power of context has not been canceled.

Huge difference in sensations from one and the same action: they slapped you on the ass the object of your affections or a nasty man on the subway. Tells You "baby I'm a want you" a lover in the beginning of the relationship or the husband, who has accumulated a dossier of grievances the size of mount Everest.

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One action, different reaction. One action, different context. The same from "how sweet it is snowing socks" to "so tired of this mess of dirty socks" on the accumulation of stress in the pair. It would be strange if this tension is the inhibition did not extend to sex.

Anxiety, depression, dissatisfaction with their body are also the sources block desire stress. And there are difficult periods in life, when the sex part. And there are peculiarities of temperament. And there, when the woman hadn't met the right person, and in the myth of the "sex for health" she does not believe. And that sex ceases to be a variant of the communication or stress relief, it becomes a must-see destination in the list of achievements figure-children-career, and even so, the failure of which turns into a psych diagnosis.

This is a daily cocktail of old morality glossy hypersexuality and medical templates "normal sex» sounds on different voices in his head, making it difficult to hear and understand a specific woman what she needs right now from his own sexuality, from relationships, from my life.

 



To marry the mother

Weight – protection from distress

 

When medicine says about functional pathology, i.e., here a broken leg and a function of the circulation is broken – this is one story, in the case of "you have three months not want sex" — the violation of which function is it?About the function of receiving joy from your life?

Cause if there's sex or a result? Awake the sexual desire under the yoke of other problems? And if so, decide whether their diagnosis or add the icing on the cake is the feeling of "I'm still mentally ill"?

This article is not about the futility of diagnoses, and the importance of understanding their nuances (especially psychiatric), not to make another painful cage for their sexuality.published 

 

Author: Julia Lapina

 



Source: www.facebook.com/psychology.lapina/posts/1885307565030822

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