Happiness where you...

Trite and common knowledge that people are imperfect. Ideal and there is no absolute. But modern society puts this quality is not only required for any norm, but the only form of existence.

The secret is probably not too complicated. It is human nature to self-improve, to move forward and improve their quality. This is both a strength and a weakness of man. Because self — improvement and development is the basis of civilization. Weakness, because the pursuit of the best, like other human qualities, can be used for manipulation.

If you look around, you can see a lot of promises to show the way to perfection. And if you're perfect, then you automatically become omnipotent and inaccessible to others. Buy deodorant Axe and you'll be running around the crowd of girls. Buy lengthening mascara, and "all men are crazy about you."

Just the thing. Perfect and perfect can not be never be equal to God. Even if we refer to different religious denominations, God's perfection, there is not always treated equally. And what about paganism, where the gods were really on each other are not similar, but in the eyes of fans their appearance and quality was perfect.

It is even more difficult to reach unanimity about perfection in such disputable categories as evaluation their own and others ' personality. The fact that it is impossible to please all others, meet the standards of all people in the world. And society, especially the modern, motley, with the great range of opinions and expectations, will never come to a consensus.

Yes, we are not perfect, and for a man it is important to accept this fact. Not just going through it to demonstrate his humility and self-criticism, and realize that this is so. And this is not a defect but a property of the person to act in different situations in different ways. And then we ourselves can interpret our behavior as a disadvantage or advantage.

To recognize themselves honestly and openly imperfect to himself – a very difficult task for many. For the vast majority of our contemporaries it is equal to the recognition of its weakness and vulnerability. And it's scary. Especially for daffodils, because vulnerability and imperfection throws them into the abyss of despair, equates them to tiny little people.

For fear of being "just a man", people deny his imperfection completely. But this fear, it is not going away, and is usually projected outward. Like citizens distinguish themselves as a special group, class chosen, which has huge advantages over the others.

They are the most intelligent, the freest, the most "thinking" and critical. Such a community willing to discuss the terrible flaws in all the others outside their little world and come up with methods of punishment for "moral and intellectual cripples." Many also admit that they have signs of imperfection, but usually mean that they just necton compared to these horrible people around. And as usual, the more suppressed emotions, the harder "chosen" trying to deal with people whom they ascribe their own flaws.

Another category of people the recognition of ourselves as imperfect pushes into depression and pushes on the treadmill of self-improvement. If they are imperfect, that perfection must run without stopping, otherwise the world will fall out of love. By the way, according to the modern idea of success and perfection, these citizens are trying to catch up with the "bogoizbrannost" isolated themselves in the community.

Anyway, all these people can't accept themselves as they are. From their point of view, human imperfection equal to the disability (this and the same projection is partly due to negative attitudes towards persons with disabilities, in particular in Russia).

Where it comes from? All, as usual from childhood. A child at an early age can accept yourself as much as take his parents, and how they relate to the fact of the imperfections of the baby. Yes, a child, compared with adults, plays a very strong. Part of parents considers it a Vice, and gives the child not only to understand but also speaks directly about it.

Mother and father frequently the child hears that you are accepted in our family only under certain conditions, but these conditions are on the specific age of the child was not feasible. The imperfection of the kid's horrible shameful Vice, which he regularly poked in the face. "There's nothing you can normally do", "Hands", "I Write like chicken scratch" etc.

For this reason, the adoption of its own imperfection for many worse than suicide. Admit that such will actually admit their inferiority and you get thrown out of the family and of society. Because if you have flaws, you don't deserve anything. You will suffer if you keep running toward unattainable heights. So run, don't look back.

People in this case feel better. Even if they love and accept, they do not notice. They have no experience of self-acceptance and acceptance in society. They just don't see a sign of approval and support. They think that they are always late and they need always rush to justify waiting, to be useful, try to squeeze out all the power and only then you will not throw out in the cold.

And so when people during consultation requested to take, what you can do in this world, not all but most of the things you in principle does not make sense to be able due to their futility, the people are much frightened and saying something like: "If I admit it to myself, I'll quit work, study, etc. I Have no incentive! And then I no one will need me to drop everything and cease to be respected".

The process of making itself, for many it is a complex military operation - the long con, or even some kind of Scam designed to deceive others and himself. Moreover, the operation is very risky. But really, it's not so impossible. The adoption starts with what people have to say to yourself: "I'm normal, such as it is right now, I don't do anything to be normal. Happiness where I am."

Yes, happiness is where you are. People often can't feel it because every moment they think about what is not perfect. Still a lot not done, not done, not solved to be happy. A mass of circumstances, conditions, not the situation, and not the time. And so all my life, because you're still "under...".

But really there is no reason not to feel happy just because you're not made up of abstract perfection. All our imperfections and flaws, our individuality, and what we don't like the others. Imperfections are often defined subjectively. Here it is worth remembering before you start to cut yourself on the subject that you have not yet reached the ideal, and therefore a nonentity that no one will ever love you.



Of excessive expectations: we deserve exactly what we getFemale anger — lack of love

Ask yourself, what really will happen if you will not be perfection in question or the industry in which struggling. Now you are stopped and are in point of reality. What if you're not going anywhere or going at a different speed, or, in General, will turn to the side.

Usually people describe a sharp rush of fear and childhood memories, those of parents or other significant individuals that talk about the insignificance of a small child, reject him because of his age limit. But this is a thing of the past. Don't screw yourself like your parents. Love yourself for what you are.


Author: Natalia Stilson


P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! ©

Source: psy-practice.com/publications/psikhicheskoe-zdorove/prinyatie-svoego-nesovershenstva/


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