Life Stories)

You take a disposable plastic cup in his left hand, and plant it (the hand) at its own head. Without lifting your hands from the back, walking into a room where sit colleagues. At the same time slightly twisting the head and doing a dissatisfied person.
 You ask:
 - What is neck pain?
 - Yeah - I say.
 - Purged, probably - indifferent so interested.
 - Listen, - I ask - but if the neck crunch - will take place?
 At this point you undertake the right hand of his own chin and pretend that you turn his head. At this point, the main thing - dramatically closed fist neck of the same plastic cup. SHARP. The sound - as in horror movies. Just a nightmare. After that you start to groan and filled up a little on the table ...
 When all otvizzhat, foolishly smiling and showing a crumpled cup.
 Then run to the door and dodge flying after writing utensils. In the example, I hit only once)))

***

I thought this only happens in the scene Raikin "What is your name? - Awas ... »
 Location - Eastern Biryulyovo. I have a deadline for payment on the Internet (ISP birulevo.NET - not for the sake of advertising, and it is important in the course). Returning from a walk, go up to the first that fell kiosk to buy a new scratch card.
 Seller - Caucasian and 50 years (like more aptly be called - will be seen why, but the correctness does not allow).
 That dialogue.
 - Birulevo.net there?
 - How does the Net? Est! You're right now in Birulova! Vakrug Birulova!
 - You did not understand. Map Birulevo.net.
 - Map Biruleva Nat! Which card Biruleva - what about you? Paid newsagent buy a map of Moscow - there Birulova est!
 - Well no!!! Online map!
 - What is the inter ???? Inter is not! You lyubysh football ??? Tebe Ghawar - Paid newsstands !!! THERE AND MAP AND INTER EST EST!
 Long thought, but he left in silence, leaving the seller in full confidence that he spoke with the idiot.

***

I sit in an unfamiliar office accountant at the computer, such as watch, what they had to do with 1C th. Glavbukh somewhere came out, having, however, complain that Odinesina he slowly opens ...
Indeed, it is very annoying that open slowly, even directories. We run a man and asked: Do not go here of a programmer. After receiving a negative answer, escapes. He runs another man, apparently a programmer, and wondered how to open the window. I, as a programmer programmer, declare that the well-very slowly opened. In general, all here on a very slow.
Chel at me in a strange look and asked if there was anyone else here. Probably meant, normal mental health. Then it turned out that the office recently put plastic windows, and it was the representative of the "window" of the company! ..

***

It was a long time ago, in the late '80s, but as we know from the classical age there.
 Moscow technical university, is a pair of tower. The teacher - an old, honored, polite ceremony. And because of his gallantry asks for a fine half the audience permission to take off his jacket. For - spring, hot.
 Of course, the ladies agree it (facing the audience - it is important!) Removes the aforesaid garment hangs it neatly on the back of a chair, adjusts ... I mean, everything is very glamorous. Under the jacket found a good shirt and tie. But the official part is over and the teacher decides to continue it, for what, in fact, he came - to give a lecture on. With this intention, and he turns to face the blackboard, back to the audience.
 And then came a moan, a common and friendly - on the back of it hung another tie! People crying, breathing and speaking no one is able, as a teacher, not understanding the reasons for the sudden change in the behavior of course, it starts to turn around, showing off his tie №1.
 At the sight of his ability to hold back and disappears completely studiozusy neigh loudly. Prof perky starts to spin on its axis, realizing, apparently, a hole in any place, showing both of their tie at a rapid pace.
 This goes on for a while until someone prodyshatsya and explained to him what, in fact the case. And I must say that he was quite respected by students. He slaps his forehead and tells a story: he is dressed in the morning, and when he was already in full regalia remembered that I forgot to shave and not to soil his tie, moved it back. Well, shaved, realized that to work without a tie is not haute couture, I put it on and go.
 This story recall all ours!

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