The self-deception or the opposite of love...

Sometimes people happen hopeless relationship.
This is when you meet someone and begin to treat it in some special way, but something you do not "docked" and here the attitude of one in a pair does not correspond to the relationship-the expectations of the second. And instead of to change their attitude-expectations according to the situation, someone starts to suffer and lose touch with objective reality.

You to him... and he to you that's not so. And we again to him. And again. And then the tears.

Most often, lately, it happens with girls who want to "tomasito" or "get" a certain man, and fell in love with the "bad guys", in their rough masculinity seeing the prospect of a reliable powerful shoulder and family support, when boys, in General, it is with that girl only want sex. Let the man, of course "the best" out of the ordinary. Girls they are delicious, and every care, and wait, and even borrow money and "why didn't you call me"... and get very offended and still waiting for that "soon it will be different to me"! "I win!" In my opinion, a classic:)

Or, for example, sex seems to be a prelude to a cool family life. But not always one comes from the other. One of my favorite films, "Bitter moon" that's just about it.

Or, for example, when I first started Dating, then ponapridumyvali about each other a lot of things. That's what an unemployed graduate of circus school thirty-five years will be a talented businessman and will give you a car, or chronic ex-husband has left several wives and children, will finally be in the right hands, an exemplary family man and loving father.

With deception it's all clear. We desperately cling to a certain image and don't want to let him go.
Because we were so comfortable in the end:)

But apathy is harder.
The man is very lazy to admit that they are a visible picture of the world is not true.
This is lazy — all of us, "believed in the best" perfectly understood that the picture is not as good as we are trying to convince themselves and others. And this here is the "usual optimism" — an extremely dangerous thing, I tell you.
When you live in not very good circumstances, with not the most lucid people around that behave towards you is not the most honest way, but you "swallow" over and over again their harsh words, some painful situation, repeating "so cute and contagious optimism" that "we are still all good!" is bad becomes a certain rule and in a painful haze are generally all parties to the unresolved conflict.

Man sometimes painfully too lazy to stop being a victim, for example, and to forfeit his modest small high awareness of superiority over the "tormentor-aggressor" and "I'll be good!" It's a very effective way to feel engaged in a noble cause, and with 100% success — so out of the blue to feel "right, good, decent, well-mannered man" in society "snapper, ham, selfish and a villain." And do nothing:))

According to my statistics, is never something that initially someone in the relationship was "not as good as we would like" — has suddenly become qualitatively better. So dangerous this lazy self-deception — that that will take time, that he is wiser, so he come to his senses... that he will learn to appreciate me more, and so on. I'd like to be wrong, of course. But when her husband life, say, do not hurry to earn big money is to suggest that suddenly something will happen and he will get work... but chances are slim. Or, say, support a cool relationship with his parents the young man is unlikely to become a mental hospitable family man. Or ruffling at the sight of other people's children Narcissus can sincerely want to love and own. Or someone very unflattering and rude talking about your other, say, women, not exactly the way to talk to someone about you.

In short, the moral of this: hopeless relationship is futile in the sense that even when we strongly want something and we think that the strength of our love will be enough to break through the wall — if the person is inherently NOT CAPABLE of something, then very little chance that he's gonna change and sincerely and frankly will be as good as we would like (in the same two your favorite music, well spent vacation and other compelling points of contact).

Those relationships in which something from the very beginning something went wrong, gurgled, spluttered and stalled — over. Sometimes this process takes years. But such a relationship ends. Just because they were in the source such relationships that end. And that's when something, in essence is something that must come to an end — begin to revive in every way (joint yoga, religion, even birth of children...) — becomes the grim trap of eating all who it was. And just a bit confused as...

I think to prevent this, you need to always take a bit of a contemplative stance such... leave a breath of air between you and your relationship-estimates to what is happening. And not try to stretch the pleasant memories today, if today is not as promised yesterday, tomorrow:) posted

Source: d-yatsenko.livejournal.com/